Minnesota sports fans deserve to celebrate play-in wins like championships because they are a factory of sadness

Minnesota is an absolute factory of sadness... The Timberwolves had Kevin Garnett... they went to one Western conference final with him... the twins have lost 13 straight playoff games... So if you're a Minnesota fan celebrate, like this is a championship because it has been that bad and they deserve a young, fun team like this.

There is a zero percent chance LeBron James watched the WNBA draft

There's no way he watched a WNBA draft. There's a 0.0% chance. If he was watching WNBA draft, he would have tweeted it during the WNBA draft, not 24 hours later being like just a thought I've had on my mind recently.

The Nets are going to 'whomp' the Celtics

I think that the Nets are going to whomp the Celtics. I really, I really do. I think it's going to be a whopping... When they want to play well, they can play well. They are the rare team that I think the switch can be flipped on.

The Brewers' pressure created their 'lucky' breaks

That's not luck. That's just the Brewers and what they did to you mentally, where it's like you have to be perfect and almost made teams just become a worse version of themselves because of what the Brewers were doing to them.

The Bears are building around Jeffrey Simmons correctly

Jeffrey Simmons is an absolute game wrecker. Top three at his position, changes everyone around him. The Bears had a weakness in their defense, especially run defense. They made it a strength.

Jeffrey Simmons makes the Bears Super Bowl contenders

I thought they could win the Super Bowl before Jeffrey Simmons. Now I really do.