The Colts are frauds who choked their game against the Chiefs

If you're not a fraud, this is a game you win. [The Colts] are frauds. That was their game to lose and they choked.

Jahmyr Gibbs is the best running back in the NFL

I think I'm fine with just saying Jahmyr Gibbs is the best running back because when he gets into open field, there's just no—he looks like he's making other NFL players look slow.

Brian Daboll should be court-martialed for starting Russell Wilson over Jameis Winston

I keep saying this and every week I keep getting more vindicated for the fact that Brian Daboll should be [court-martialed] for starting Russell Wilson. It made no sense at the time. It makes even less sense now. Jameis Winston... is at 20.3 yards per completion.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.