The Dallas Cowboys are going to win the Super Bowl this year

I can't see a world that Dallas don't win at least 15 games and CD Lamb should be a first rounder and Amari Cooper should be a first rounder and Dak Prescott... should be a first rounder... they are going to win the Super Bowl.

Ezekiel Elliott will return to his elite form this season because he finally has his six-pack back

Zeke is going to be back to physique this year... the dude has the six pack back. He doesn't have the belly anymore. physique-iel Elliott. He looks skinny. He looks, it looks very skinny.

A head coach finding out their star quarterback is injured is the most devastating news possible

I need every head coach to be miked up when they get that type of news, because it is absolutely devastating. It's like stuff... I'm talking, you could tell them their family just got kidnapped and they'd be like, all right, well, we'll figure out after practice, but [the trainer] walking up being like, 'Hey, it's a muscular thing. We don't know.'

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.