Getting your wife pregnant is the secret to winning golf tournaments

If you want to win a golf tournament, you have to get your wife pregnant. And then sure enough, either right after you give birth or right after you conceive, you will get an interview right after you win something and you'll announce it.

A baseball player must reach 2,000 hits to be considered elite

I think most real seam heads would say like 2000 hits. If you get to 2000 hits, you're probably elite. ... if you get to 2000, that's the big number in baseball. Everyone talks about you gotta get to 2000 hits.

Bryce Harper will return to being a beast this season after disrespect from his GM

Bryce Harper's been nothing but good. And Dave Dombrowski disrespecting him like that. Bryce has every right to be upset about that. ... I think he's gonna be a beast this year. He's gonna return to being a beast.

The Brewers' pressure created their 'lucky' breaks

That's not luck. That's just the Brewers and what they did to you mentally, where it's like you have to be perfect and almost made teams just become a worse version of themselves because of what the Brewers were doing to them.

The Bears are building around Jeffrey Simmons correctly

Jeffrey Simmons is an absolute game wrecker. Top three at his position, changes everyone around him. The Bears had a weakness in their defense, especially run defense. They made it a strength.

Jeffrey Simmons makes the Bears Super Bowl contenders

I thought they could win the Super Bowl before Jeffrey Simmons. Now I really do.