The 2019 season of Hard Knocks earns a score of 2.8 out of 5 balls

Finale of Hard Knocks. Balls, I'm giving it two point eight balls. Five ball system. I'd say two and a half if it wasn't very good... Jon Gruden saved it.

Mark Davis is a legitimate draw who puts 'asses in the seats' because people are fascinated by his appearance

Mark Davis puts asses in the seats. That's a fact. Yeah. It's true. It's one way or the other whether you're repulsed or [intrigued]... you will want to show up to look at watch Mark Davis's ass on a seat standing in an office.

Ezekiel Elliott is definitely going to play on Sunday

I am I feel like is this crazy to say but anytime a guy [Zeke] like he's gonna play on Sunday. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you will.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.