The 2016 Pittsburgh Penguins are the softest and worst team to ever win a Stanley Cup

Congrats to Pittsburgh, right? They are probably the softest team to ever win a Stanley Cup... I think that this Pittsburgh Penguin team is probably the worst team to ever win a Stanley Cup. And we don't even know if they won it. That's how bad they are, that we have no confidence that they're going to win.

The Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy in sports and every trophy should be drinkable

Every time the Stanley Cup champion is crowned, it reminds me that it is the greatest trophy in all of sports, and it's not even close. Every single trophy you should be able to drink out of.

Phil Kessel will celebrate a Stanley Cup win by eating whatever he wants all summer, possibly filling the Cup with queso or hot dog water

Phil Kessel, though, you think he eats now. If he's a Stanley Cup champion, you can eat whatever you want for the rest of the summer... I wouldn't be shocked if that was a story that came out in a couple months or, like I said, just some hot dogs. Like some good old hot dog water and some boiled hot dogs.

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.