The Minnesota Wild are going to have a 'mump slump' after several players contracted the mumps

So it's the [Minnesota] Wild that has the mumps, right? So calling it right now, it's going to be a mump slump. There's your headline.

The Kirk Cousins franchise tag is a sign the Redskins still don't know if he's good

In Kirk Cousins' case, it's just a big sign that says, do we know if Kirk Cousins is good yet? No, we don't know.

Kirk Cousins is the best quarterback that sucks

I think Kirk Cousins will perpetually be, is he good or not? Yes, he is the best quarterback that sucks.

If Messi wins the 2026 World Cup, he is the GOAT of all sports GOATs

So if he wins the World Cup again, I'm prepared to say he might be the GOAT GOAT. Like the GOAT of GOATs. Right now I think Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali are both tied for the GOAT GOAT... But Messi could get on the Mount Rushmore of GOAT GOATs.

France will beat England in the World Cup third-place game, giving England the all-time record for third-place game losses.

England has, they've got the possibility to set the all time record for most third place game losses. Right now they're tied with Brazil with two. If they lose another one, then that would mean that they have that record on their own. And if you look back through history or at least recent history, three of the last five champions of the World Cup go on to win the third place game the next year. So that would mean that France would win this third place game and England would etch their names into history.

Warde Manuel is about to be fired as the Michigan Athletic Director

I think Warde Manuel's about to get fired... They've leaked a few things to the media regarding the investigation and in the things that they've leaked, they've squarely pointed their finger at Warde Manuel and been like Warde knew the entire time.