The Bengals should trade for Jameis Winston to save their season

We need Jameis so, so badly... At least Jameis is gonna sling it. At least he's gonna throw it... because it's a national emergency.

The Jets will not win a single game for the rest of the season

After last night's game, I don't think they're gonna win a game. I think they're gonna go... that team did not look like they could win a game.

Drew Allar is destined for a long career as a journeyman NFL backup like Chase Daniel

I think this man is going to have a Chase Daniel type career as a backup quarterback... I think this guy is grown in a lab to be a journeyman backup. Very successful career millionaire... but never be the guy, a starter, but a great backup.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.