Morning international games ruin the day for functional human beings

When you have the morning game, it fucks up your entire day as a functional human being. You wake up early, you can't do anything because you're watching the football game. And then guess what? When that football game's over, you have to watch another football game. Roger Goodell hates church.

The Steelers offense is for real now that Aaron Rodgers is getting the ball out fast

Steelers offense actually looked for real. Maybe this is what the Steelers offense is going to be, is Aaron Rodgers getting the ball out insanely fast. I think I saw the stat, it was 2.17 seconds to throw. He just was whipping it around. It didn't matter because the Steelers' offense looked better than it has in a while.

Mike Tomlin absolutely lives in his fears despite his favorite catchphrase

Mike Tomlin, one of his favorite quotes to say is, 'we don't live in our fears.' Bullshit, dude. You do live in your fears. You had a fourth and maybe a half a yard on the opponent's 39 yard line and you punted. Everyone in the world is going for this. Just maybe go for it.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.