Mac Jones is horrifically bad at quarterbacking

Mac Jones is horrifically, horrifically bad at quarterbacking in the NFL. [He's] officially official. It's not a guy.

CJ Stroud is an elite NFL quarterback

I think we can say now there's enough evidence. The Texans are just good. And CJ Stroud is elite. He's a great quarterback.

Deshaun Watson has officially arrived as a Cleveland Brown

I think I might have to say it, Deshaun Watson has officially arrived as a Cleveland Brown because... [he] drove them down the field for the game winning field goal.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.