The Green Bay Packers are dead

Today is Friday, November 16th, and the Green Bay Packers are dead. They are. The Packers gave it their all. They really tried hard, but to fall short and to punt fourth and two with three and a half minutes left... I just do not understand that ever.

Aaron Rodgers has lost his magic

I think it's time for us to put the done shit on them. I think they're done. I think the magic has gone away from Aaron Rodgers. Listen. I think the pendulum has swung.

Mike McCarthy is basically just Jason Garrett without the clapping

Mike McCarthy is basically Jason Garrett. I think they're actually comparable coaches, except [McCarthy] can't do the clap thing because his short little hands won't reach around his body and just clap all the time.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.