DJ Burns is the man and NC State is America's team for beating Duke

DJ Burns is the fucking man. Yes. I love him. Thank everyone in America should thank DJ Burns for beating Duke. Oh. For just being awesome.

Zach Edey is legitimately good at basketball despite his game being unenjoyable to watch

Purdue fans should just be like, that's okay because we win. You know what I mean? Like, it's at a point where it's like to quote our good friend Jay Bilis, agree to disagree. Zach Edey is really good at basketball. Most of America doesn't enjoy this experience. It's okay. Thinking otherwise is stupid.

DJ Burns will get in foul trouble immediately against Zach Edey and Purdue

I unfortunately think that DJ Burns probably already got his first foul in the game on Saturday getting off the bus. He's gonna be outta that game so fast. It's gonna suck.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.