Oregon State is the greatest team of all time

Oregon State, Loyola Chicago. Oregon State is just the greatest team of all time. And I'm going to say that about pretty much every team, just be warned that I don't have a lot in my repertoire right now, but they are the greatest team as of right now.

Baylor is beatable because they are a streaky shooting team

I'm caught between that they [Baylor] didn't play their best and still won, so they're really good, and they're beatable because they went three for 19 from three, and they were a little bit streaky. Their best players didn't play their A games.

Sportswriters are the only people capable of ruining the Oral Roberts feel-good story

And we finally got actually Oral Roberts' bad takes coming from some of the sportswriters who dug into the history of the school, found all the quotes from all the people there. And only sportswriters could make Oral not a feel-good story. They could suck the fun out of a blowjob.

England will beat the Netherlands and then lose a heartbreaking match to Argentina

I think England's gonna win this weekend. And then you'll have the realization that it might not actually be coming home after all... losing to Argentina at that stage, that would be the most heartbreaking loss they could possibly have.

Christian Pulisic is clearly not and cannot be the face of US soccer

I'm just sick of relying on him [Pulisic] to be the face of US soccer because it can't be, it's so clear that he's not.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.