Oregon State is the greatest team of all time

Oregon State, Loyola Chicago. Oregon State is just the greatest team of all time. And I'm going to say that about pretty much every team, just be warned that I don't have a lot in my repertoire right now, but they are the greatest team as of right now.

Baylor is beatable because they are a streaky shooting team

I'm caught between that they [Baylor] didn't play their best and still won, so they're really good, and they're beatable because they went three for 19 from three, and they were a little bit streaky. Their best players didn't play their A games.

Sportswriters are the only people capable of ruining the Oral Roberts feel-good story

And we finally got actually Oral Roberts' bad takes coming from some of the sportswriters who dug into the history of the school, found all the quotes from all the people there. And only sportswriters could make Oral not a feel-good story. They could suck the fun out of a blowjob.

The Rams' Australia travel plan was an all-time 'fuck it' move

It was a terrible idea that Sean McVay tried to do, but I have to respect how much of an all-time fuck-it move it was to just pretend that time zones don't exist. He was just like, you know what, fuck it, we're not gonna adapt. We're gonna fly in, fly out.

KOC will get the best out of Kyler Murray

I think that what he's gonna get the absolute best outta Kyler Murray that he possibly can at this point, which I think should be good enough to be a pretty good team this year.

Jayden Daniels is going to remind everyone that the bad man is back

I think Jayden Daniels, he's as healthy as he has been since the start of last season. ... I think that he's gonna remind a lot of people who he is. Yeah. That's what I think. I think the bad man might be back.