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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Washington Football Team should change their mascot to the Red Wolves

If you do change the name, I realize I feel strongly that it should be Red Wolves... The defense could be called the Wolf Pack... I think that dogs in general are criminally underrepresented at the professional level.

The team chose Commanders, though Red Wolves was a finalist.

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Win
Aug 21, 2020
#18460
Big CatBig Cat

Thom Brennaman will lose his job for his hot mic slur

So if you're living under a rock he... had a hot mic situation where he used a homophobic slur and probably is going to lose his job.

Thom Brennaman resigned from the Reds and was removed from Fox Sports NFL coverage following the slur.
Void
Aug 21, 2020
#28722
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Staying safe in the bubble and practicing good hygiene is a bigger accomplishment for the Capitals than winning the Stanley Cup

I think that being in the bubble, staying safe, practicing good hygiene, and not spreading the virus around... I think is better than winning a Stanley Cup. It's a testimony to just what a great team [the Capitals] is.

This is a satirical opinion used to deflect from a playoff loss; it cannot be literally evaluated but the Capitals did not win the Cup.
Void
Aug 21, 2020
#28723
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 2020 Stanley Cup doesn't really count and it's the best year to lose because there is no parade

Does it really count this year? I'm sitting here, this is the easiest year to lose... There's no parade I could go to, there's no Stanley Cup celebration. I'm not going to drink out of the cup again this year. So honestly, I'm glad I hope a new team wins.

The 2020 Stanley Cup is officially recorded, though fans often debate 'asterisk' seasons.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.