It is good for MLB to not have the Home Run Derby associated with Christian Yelich and his previous 'anal lingus' controversy

You know what's great is it's good for the sport not to have people associate the home run derby with anal lingus. [Christian Yelich] is not competing... we did it, one more year of keeping our tongues out of each other's buttholes.

I'm a 'Misery' guy and think MLB is right to put the 'phenom' Brody Brecht in the All-Star game to grow the sport

I don't think deserving is the right word. I think it's why... we wanna tune in and try to grow the game back and people wanna watch him. It like, this guy throws the ball so fast, so hard. And he's had a great start to his career. I'm a misery guy. I don't even know how to say his name. Misery... he puts asses in seats.

I want Brody Brecht to be the biggest bust in MLB history after he was selected for the All-Star game over Ranger Suárez

I now hate this guy. I now want this guy to be the biggest bust in MLB history. Ranger Suárez has a 1.94 in 13 games... How do you possibly look at that and be like, this guy is more deserving than Ranger Suárez? It makes no sense.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.