Takes

Nick Saban paid Bill Belichick to wear an Alabama shirt to help recruit white wide receivers

I think that Saban paid him to wear the shirt because Saban knows they need to do a better job recruiting the Hunter Renfros of the world... What better way to recruit the, like, scrappy little white wide receivers than have Belichick be the new face of your program?

Florida State has a 'turtle murdering problem' and a bad culture

I'm guessing the Tallahassee police are somehow involved in this... Knowing that there's been one turtle murder that I know of this year, and it happened at Florida State, that's conclusive. Bad culture.

Every team that has ever made the College Football Playoff has been a Nike school

Every team that's made the college football playoffs is a Nike school. A little bit of a conspiracy. Turns out every school is a Nike school pretty much.

The 2016 Big Ten Championship game is rigged for Wisconsin to win

The Big Ten titles game is going to be rigged in favor of Wisconsin this time. Because last time, the 59-0 Ohio State. That was rigged. Wisconsin. Gary Anderson was fired recently. Left right away. It all makes sense.