Takes

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

Brandon Staley was supposed to turn the Chargers into a championship team

I thought Brandon Staley was gonna turn this whole Chargers thing around. I was like, this guy knows Ball. This guy has, it's a new C word team. Forget your father's Chargers.

I will cut my hair if Ryan Fitzpatrick wins a playoff game for Washington

When Ryan Fitzpatrick wins a playoff game, I will cut my hair. For the football team. I'll say it with my chest: when Ryan Fitzpatrick wins a playoff game, I will cut my hair.

There is a 50% chance I get signed to an XFL contract

Let me say, I think that there is actually like a 50% chance that I do get an XFL contract, that I am signed to the XFL. I'm going to find out on Wednesday night and be able to report on Thursday morning what happened.

Dan Snyder will outlive me as the owner of the Redskins

Dan Snyder... is going to outlive me. I've accepted it. He's either made a deal with the devil or he's got like a blood-sucking operation where he gets rejuvenated with the blood of 13-year-olds every two weeks.

The Jaguars will go from worst to first in the AFC South.

Jaguars. That division is like Andrew Luck's gone. I don't know what the Titans offense is going to be. ... I think it's got to be the Jaguars.

Zeke Elliott should sit out the entire 2019 season to maintain his leverage

If I'm Zeke, I'm sitting out the whole season. I got more power to Zeke on this one. Zeke, don't play this year at all.

I will make the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday as President

I'm opening my candidacy for president... Day after the Super Bowl, national holiday. Done.