Takes

Brian Daboll cost the Giants the game by failing to carry a backup kicker

Brian Daboll, what the fuck are you doing? They could have brought up another kicker. It felt like Brian Daboll cost his team the game here by not having a kicker.

Sam Darnold has officially arrived in the NFL after seven years

Sam Darnold's back. Sam Darnold has arrived. Sam Darnold is our Baker Mayfield of this year. It took him seven years, but he has finally arrived in the NFL. He is now, dare I say, good.

Anthony Richardson is not currently good at quarterbacking

Anthony Richardson is just not that good at quarterbacking right now. He had two very, very bad interceptions. Missing guys. I just don't see it what other people see. Kale Williams was really good in college. Anthony Richardson wasn't. So that's where I'm like, I don't know.

Bryce Young's career in Carolina is over

I feel bad for Bryce Young. It doesn't feel like it's ever gonna happen. Carolina, I feel like that part is, is kind of done. 'Cause even if he plays the rest of this year, there's no way the Panthers are gonna be good enough where they're like, we're gonna keep him going forward.

The Bengals are the team the Chiefs fear playing the most

I think you proved that now that Joe Burrow's back, you guys are the hardest out for the Chiefs. That's a fact. If you ask Chiefs fans, if you ask Patrick Mahomes, you ask Andy Reid, you hit him with truth serum and you're like, what team do you not wanna play? It's the Cincinnati Bengals.

Caleb Williams won't survive the season behind the Bears' offensive line

Caleb Williams is gonna get murdered. He's gonna get killed behind this offensive line. I'm actually like worried that even if Caleb Williams, I still believe in Caleb Williams. I don't know if Caleb Williams will survive because the offensive line is that bad.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl

Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. That's, I I believe it end the season. Tip of the pinky. If the Falcons somehow win this game on Monday night, I have to also have the Rams.

Josh Allen is the only quarterback in the NFL other than Patrick Mahomes worth taking over everyone else

I don't think there's a guy besides Patrick Mahomes that you would take over Josh Allen. He's played awesome in two games so far. And this was supposed to be kind of a reset year for the Bills... He's still Josh Allen. That's what having a franchise quarterback looks like.

Tua Tagovailoa should consider retiring now that he is financially set

I am very glad that Tua [Tagovailoa] got a contract this season. Because now it takes all the financial reasons away from Tua for him to decide whether or not he wants to keep playing football... I would not be surprised if he was like, I'm done playing football because what, this is the third time that we've seen the fencing reflex from him.

Amon-Ra St. Brown is the ultimate 'bounce back' bet following a bad game

Amon-Ra St. Brown is one of those guys that I put in the category, if he has a bad game, just bet everything the next game that he's going to be awesome. Because we've met him, we've had him on the show. He doesn't feel like the type of guy that takes a bad performance... A performance where he doesn't catch the ball a lot or get a touchdown, I feel like he takes that very personally.

I made the biggest bet of the season on the Colts -3 because Malik Willis is starting for the Packers

Biggest bet of the season. I know it's early, but so far biggest bet of the season on the Colts... This is strictly a bet against Malik Willis... I don't think that there are 21 other guys. I think it's just an entire team of Malik Willises this week.

NFL safeties should be worth a red zone start for the opponent rather than just two points

I think the perfect thing to do for a safety instead of two points, which we agree is not enough points for a safety. Give the ball to the offense on the one yard line. Or to the other team... so if you get tackled in your own end zone, it's a turnover. The other team gets the ball on the one.

The Giants-Commanders Week 2 loser is officially the worst team in the division

This is a true 'ass' bowl where the team who loses this game, if, especially if they lose it significantly, they're truly ass... A loss for [the Commanders], you still have Jaden Daniels... a loss for the Giants, you're like, we thought we'd be bad, but we're worse.

Joe Burrow's wrist injury is 100% physical and he is lying about being 'good'

I disagree with you that it's mental, not physical. I think it's physical. No, I think it's 100% physical, physical, physical. And that when Joe Burrow says he's good, he knows he's not good and he's pissed off that he is not good.

Winning games matters more than Caleb Williams' individual progression right now

I would take the win [over progression from Caleb Williams]... Because the progression will come. Winning games is the best. I don't care how it happens. Get me to 2-0. What you and I [Max]... best case scenario, both things happen. But if he doesn't have a great game, having a win is a nice consolation prize.

The 49ers are still awesome and Aaron Rodgers has limited mobility but his arm is still there

The two biggest takeaways I had was the 49ers are still fucking awesome and Aaron Rodgers—well, limited running, he doesn't have the same mobility. His arm is still there. He can still rip it.

Deshaun Watson is a disgusting human being who also happens to stink at quarterback

Either he is the victim of the biggest, most coordinated, most ruthless smear campaign against an individual maybe in the history of sports, or he's a disgusting human being who should be in jail. Either way he stinks at quarterback.

Jalen Carter is a dirty player who tried to injure Jordan Love

The grass had nothing to do with that injury. You can blame Jalen Carter for being dirty, dirty player. Trying to injure people. Yeah. I think that would be the more, more the blame.

The Green Bay Packers are considering Colin Kaepernick as a bridge quarterback

Part of My Take is reporting that Colin Kaepernick is in consideration by some to be the Green Bay Packers Bridge quarterback. Yes. So Jordan Love returns.

Caleb Williams' debut performance was really bad but doesn't matter since the Bears won

The Bears are one and oh, they did not score an offensive touchdown. Caleb Williams looks really bad, but the Bears are one and oh and I don't give a fuck. Well, I do actually care a little bit because I really wish he had played better because he was not good.

The Arizona Cardinals are officially a fun watch team this year

The Cardinals are gonna be my official, this is just a fun watch team because Kyler looked awesome. Their defense is not great. They didn't even get Marvin Harrison going. James Conner is still the angriest, most upright runner that God ever created and yeah, I think they're just officially a fun team to watch.

Joe Mixon is an absolute psycho for playing with no gloves

The bigger story is Joe Mixon is an absolute psycho. He went no gloves. Which was maybe the hardest thing you can do as a running back. No gloves. I just, I I get hurt thinking about that. Like getting, you get stepped on, you're at the bottom of the pile. You have no glove.

Jacoby Brissett could lead the New England Patriots to eight wins this season

I'm infinitely more excited than I was on Saturday. Infinitely. Because you weren't that excited on Saturday. No, I'm thinking eight, eight wins. Jacoby might get us eight.

Joe Burrow must cut his bleached hair if the Bengals start 0-2

If they start owing two have to have to go back to the natural hair color. Cut the hair. Have to. You just can't have that as an o You can't be an o and two quarterback with the bleach blonde tips. You can't, yeah. You can't do really anything that makes you stand out if you're not good.

Daniel Jones will cost Brian Daboll his head coaching job

It's Daniel Jones. It's over. It's bent over. He's gonna cost Brian Daboll his job. Who I still think is not a bad coach, but I think it's gonna cost him his job.

Sam Darnold will have a 'seven-year bump' and be better than expected

I am throwing my vote behind Sam Darnold for a guy who's gonna be better than everyone expected this year. Sam Darnold is not as bad as everyone thinks. He's better. Sam Darnold might not be bad. Seven year bump.

Deshaun Watson has the worst contract in sports history

Deshaun Watson might have the worst contract ever. Impossible to beat. I maybe not even the worst NFL contract ever. Maybe not even the worst sports contract ever. Deshaun Watson might have the worst contract ever.

Deshaun Watson is a better human being than football player because he is so bad at football

Deshaun Watson's so bad at football now, I think you could say that he's a, a better person than football player. I would say as good as he is a quarterback, even better human being. Yeah. That's how bad he is in football now. Yeah. He's a better human than football player.

Deshaun Watson is on par with Bryce Young and Daniel Jones and should be benched

He's not great. He's not good. He's not even average right now. I put him on par with Bryce Young or Daniel Jones. He can go stand in line with them, rip the bandaid off before it's too late. Deshaun Watson's done... folks, he can't play. I'm ticked.

Bo Nix is the heir apparent to Jameis Winston

Bo Nix might be the heir apparent to Jameis. He's one of the funnier on field quarterbacks. 'cause everything that he does, he does with Supreme confidence. And when he throws interception, he throws the fuck out of the interception.

Xavier Worthy is going to be a problem for everybody

Well, that's the thing is they've got [the Chiefs] got a guy that's gonna be a problem for everybody. I'm gonna, and we said it on draft night, we were like, how did the bills let this happen?

Justin Tucker might be washed

Justin Tucker might be washed. Yeah. Can't hit 50 yarders anymore.

Chiefs rookie Carson Steele is a star

I knew that we knew Carson Steele was gonna be a star. I didn't think that they were going to put him like front and center in the week one broadcast. But God, I love Croy J. Yeah. What's not to love?

Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick have beef

I think there might be beef there between Belichick and Kraft. Do you think so? I I mean I'm What would, listen, I wasn't able to make a, a definitive statement on it until I figured out who he followed. Yeah. [Belichick] follows 12 people... No Patriots, no craft.

The Panthers will be a competent team this season

I love the Panthers in this game just because I, it's my, my rule of you're never as bad as you were the last year... I don't think the Panthers are be good. I think they're gonna be competent. Okay. Which they weren't last year.

One of the quarterbacks in the Vikings-Giants game will be surprisingly good, the other will be terrible

I think one of the two quarterbacks in this game [Vikings vs Giants] will be better than expected this year. But I have zero idea which one it will be. I kind of think it's gonna be Daniel Jones... but I think the other one's gonna be terrible.

I have been a Steelers fan my whole life

Steelers. Big time Steelers. Fan... [My whole life].

Kyle Shanahan taking Jimmy Garoppolo to a Super Bowl is more impressive than actually winning a Super Bowl

Kyle Shanahan, he took Jimmy G to a Super Bowl. That actually might be bigger than a Super Bowl. Yeah. That might be more impressive than a Super Bowl.

Robert Saleh would have been fired by now if he didn't have a bald head

I think Robert Saleh would've been fired if he didn't have a bald head. Robert Saleh bald head. I think the bald head, you just see it and it's like power... It's shiny. Bald, yeah. I just think there's something about him. The aura.

The worst case scenario for the Patriots this year is winning eight games

I think the worst case scenario for the Patriots this year is eight wins. It would be... that would be like, I'm going into the season, we're trying to, we gotta rebuild. If you're gonna rebuild, it starts with the draft. Eight wins wouldn't get us to the playoffs and won't get us a good draft position.

Jared Goff will win NFL MVP because he plays 14 of 17 games in a dome

I got Jared Goff [for MVP]. 14 out of his 17 games are in a dome. He loves Dome. It's gonna be Dome Fest. And what are his odds? I think they're like 25 to one.

The Green Bay Packers will win the Super Bowl this season

The Packers gonna win the Super Bowl. Watson's on the field, he's a big, big play receiver. You're gonna open things up with that guy. Then you look at the running game, I think they're more physical... they bring in a defensive coordinator and Jeff Hafley who can get after it. I love what they've done on defense and I love what they're doing on offense. They're the best team in that division.

The Buffalo Bills window is not shut and they will reach the Super Bowl

I got Buffalo going to the Super Bowl. The whole idea of the window shutting on the bills is this stupid dumb talk that people throw out there... As long as Josh Allen is slinging the football in Buffalo, they will have an open window period. End of story.

Will Levis will take a major step forward and have a career arc similar to Josh Allen

Will Levis is gonna take a major step forward. You know who Will Levis is a lot like... Josh Allen. Same type of thing. He's like Josh Allen. He's a fanatic about it... he's gonna have a monster season. And everybody who mocked his game going into the draft is gonna be exactly the way they were with Josh Allen. They're gonna be wrong.

Jaden Daniels is the best quarterback from the 2024 draft class

I love Jaden Daniels. I think he's the best quarterback in the draft. Sorry, Big Cat... having watched him at Arizona State and then watched him play at LSU and now watching him now, he's the most improved quarterback I've ever seen in my life. I think the commanders have their guy for the next 15 years and he's gonna be a star.

Jalen Hurts and Dak Prescott are not currently top 10 quarterbacks in the NFL

I'd probably say Jordan Love [at 8], Nine Tua, 10 Rogers... I would put like the Trevor Lawrences, Hertzes, Daks, Her Cousins, Herberts, those guys are writing that like kind of next group.

The Steelers should start Justin Fields because Russell Wilson doesn't give them a chance to contend

Are you with Russ playing fine at 35 or 36 really going to contend against Cincinnati and Baltimore in the division? Really? No. Like, so my thing was if it really was a little bit of a competition... why not just say, you know what, the only real chance we have is if we strike Lightning at a bottle with Justin.

The Atlanta Falcons will win the NFC South

I'm super high in Atlanta, dude. Oh, like I really am man. I think they're gonna be so good... That team not no question can win their division. And certainly just if Zach Robinson is their play caller... I think they're gonna be really, really, really good.

The Kansas City Chiefs are better this year than they were last year

They're better this year than they were last year and that's with all due respect to L'Jarius Sneed. L'Jarius is great. But... their offense is gonna be significantly better specifically just like speed and catching the football.

The Chiefs will beat the Lions in the Super Bowl and achieve the first three-peat

I'll say Kansas City and Detroit [in the Super Bowl]. What happens in the Super Bowl? Kansas City wins. Ugh. Brutal. Which is somehow some incredible, somehow some way. Patrick, you know, has the ball last type of thing.