PMT DB
PMT DB
NFL Preview with Dan Orlovsky, CFB Week 1 Recap, and the Mt Rushmore Duel
Football is officially back, and that means it is time for Brian Kelly to lose a standalone game and turn a shade of red that shouldn't be biologically possible. LSU dropped their third straight season opener, and Big Cat and PFT couldn't be happier to see the Notre Dame fans celebrating the departure of a coach who seemingly hates his own roster.
PFT CommenterBrian Kelly is not built for the SEC and does not belong in the conference
I'm gonna stand on that take. That's my official take on Brian Kelly. You could put this on a quote card. He ain't supposed to be SEC. No, he's [Jerry DiNardo]... hired him and it was like, dude, what are you doing here? You don't know our culture.
While Big Cat was all-in on the Irish, Hank was busy defending his right to actually enjoy his life on a Saturday. Hank took some heat for golfing instead of watching every second of Week 1, leading to a heated exchange about whether watching Pittsburgh vs. Kent State is actually a requirement for being a sports fan.
HankI am not spending 12 hours of my Saturday watching mediocre college football
I'm not locking in my entire 12 hours of a day on Saturday, the only day we're not in the office, to to watch a random ass week one game when there's only like three good ones... Your happiness comes from watching 12 hours of football and watching State Pittsburgh. Your happiness is from golfing. You should do what makes you happy.
Hank did manage to catch enough of Big Cat’s Wisconsin Badgers to deliver a scouting report that hit Big Cat right in the soul.
HankWisconsin quarterback Tyler Van Dyke is not good and shouldn't be starting
Wisconsin's QB is way too old to be playing... he's just not good. He's just old enough where he's like, he's clearly not good enough. He's just like holding on and costing Wisconsin.
The rest of the college landscape saw Florida State falling to 0-2 and a fan deleting his digital existence to avoid eating dog shit out of a solo cup. PFT is convinced the Seminoles are cursed until that debt is paid in full.
PFT CommenterFlorida State won't win another game until the fan who promised to eat dog shit actually does it
Coward, coward deleted his account. You gotta follow now that, listen, they're not gonna win any more games until this guy eats the dog shit out. That's facts. That's how it works.
NFL Season Preview with Dan Orlovsky
Our good friend Dan Orlovsky joined the show to give us the definitive guide to the 2024 NFL season. He started by dropping his top ten quarterbacks, which featured some notable absences that will surely have Philly and Dallas fans calling for his head.
Dan OrlovskyJalen Hurts and Dak Prescott are not currently top 10 quarterbacks in the NFL
I'd probably say Jordan Love [at 8], Nine Tua, 10 Rogers... I would put like the Trevor Lawrences, Hertzes, Daks, Her Cousins, Herberts, those guys are writing that like kind of next group.
Dan gave his thoughts on the Steelers' quarterback room, arguing that while Russell Wilson is the safe bet, he doesn't actually raise the ceiling for a team stuck in the toughest division in football.
Dan OrlovskyThe Steelers should start Justin Fields because Russell Wilson doesn't give them a chance to contend
Are you with Russ playing fine at 35 or 36 really going to contend against Cincinnati and Baltimore in the division? Really? No. Like, so my thing was if it really was a little bit of a competition... why not just say, you know what, the only real chance we have is if we strike Lightning at a bottle with Justin.
When it came to the Super Bowl, Dan sees a historic three-peat on the horizon. He’s buying the hype on the Chiefs' improved weapons and thinks they’ve actually managed to get better despite losing key pieces on defense.
Dan OrlovskyThe Kansas City Chiefs are better this year than they were last year
They're better this year than they were last year and that's with all due respect to L'Jarius Sneed. L'Jarius is great. But... their offense is gonna be significantly better specifically just like speed and catching the football.
Dan OrlovskyThe Chiefs will beat the Lions in the Super Bowl and achieve the first three-peat
I'll say Kansas City and Detroit [in the Super Bowl]. What happens in the Super Bowl? Kansas City wins. Ugh. Brutal. Which is somehow some incredible, somehow some way. Patrick, you know, has the ball last type of thing.
The Mount Rushmore Duel
To settle the tie for last place in the Mount Rushmore season standings, PFT and Hank entered a first-of-its-kind duel. Three categories, blind polls, and all the pressure in the world. The categories were HBO Shows, Quarterbacks, and PMT Mount Rushmore moments.
Things got weird immediately. In the HBO draft, PFT tried to sabotage the voting by picking "Real Sex," while Hank forgot that "Succession" or "Entourage" existed. The drama peaked during the final round when PFT used some masterful graphic manipulation to frame Hank’s past failures, specifically the time Hank refused to draft boobs in the "Round Things" draft.
After a narrow and controversial victory for PFT, a red-redo has been scheduled for Wednesday to settle the score once and for all.
May the best man win, but more importantly, may Hank have to do a punishment.
