Takes

Joe Judge is lying about players wanting to stay with the Giants

Joe Judge is clearly at the point of his career season, whatever you want to say, where he's just making shit up, literally making shit up. He's just saying shit to say shit. He doesn't actually believe any of it. None of it is actually true.

Mike Tomlin should be a retroactive Coach of the Year for managing Brown, Bell, and Roethlisberger

I still believe that Mike Tomlin doesn't get enough credit for keeping that locker room together with Big Ben, Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell for nine years. So I just want to shout out Mike Tomlin... he should get coach of the year retroactively for that entire stretch.

Antonio Brown will never play in the NFL again

I don't know where the Antonio... it's he's never gonna play again in the NFL, correct?

Jalen Hurts is the long-term starting quarterback for the Eagles

This actually, this made me more confident in my take that I think that Jalen Hurts could be the next starting quarterback in Philadelphia... long-term.

I bet the Cowboys to win the Super Bowl at 10-1 odds

I made the biggest future bet I've ever made in my life at like noon today on the Cowboys to win the Superbowl, at ten to one.

John Madden is the number one football guy of all time

Today is Monday, December 29th, and we start with the passing of, we were saying this beforehand, probably the number one football guy of all time, John Madden.

Madden: The NFL should name a new award or the Super Bowl after John Madden

I don't think they should slap his name on something. I don't think that that's the proper homage to pay. They should name the Super Bowl after him. John Madden Super Bowl. They should name football after Madden.

The Colts and Niners are the same team: great rosters, scary quarterbacks

I don't know who said it, but it was basically the Colts and the Niners are the same team. Their Spider-Man meme where it's like their roster is really good. They have a ton of really talented players. You just hold your breath that Carson Wentz or Jimmy G won't do something crazy.

Drew Brees is selfish for not coming out of retirement to save the Saints' MNF game

Fuck Drew Brees for sending that smarmy-ass text back when they're like, please, Drew, can you please come back and play for us again? He's like, no, I'm out here golfing... Fuck Drew Brees. He should have done that. He's selfish for not coming back and making America experience the Ian Book game because it wasn't even entertaining bad.

Ian Book's MNF performance showed exactly how hard it is to play NFL quarterback

I'll say what Ian Book did, though. He gave us good perspective. How hard it is to play quarterback. Because Ian Book was a good college football quarterback, and it looked like he had never played quarterback. That's how hard it is to play in the NFL.

Josh Allen is defying statistics by winning 13 out of 16 coin tosses

My hot seat is statistics and probability because Josh Allen has won 13 out of 16 coin tosses this season. That's wild... The probability of hitting nine straight is .1953. So Josh Allen is defying all the stats nerds.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Colts win the Super Bowl

I've seen some people being like, you're not actually going to do it. First of all, it's the tip of my pinky. It's the nail up. Second of all, it's essentially like a tattoo... The Colts started 0-3 in 2021, and they won the Super Bowl. It will suck, but I will do it.

Failing NFL teams should always flush the whole staff and front office out

The Jaguars, and this goes for the Giants as well, I do not understand teams that don't flush it all out. If your team is an abject failure, just... Flush the fucking thing out.

The planned downfield lateral will eventually change the game of football

The gospel of the planned downfield lateral becoming more prevalent in football... I think that a coach that can implement smart, planned out, almost rugby style pitches on certain plays... the coach that figures out how to do it safely is going to change the game of football offensively.

The 2021 Chiefs are having a resurgence similar to the vintage Patriots

The way everyone talked and ourselves included, talked about the chiefs and my homes in October... and what they have done since is very Patriots ask where everyone's like, have the chiefs been figured out is Patrick or home's bad. And then they've just wanted 11 in a row... That's a very, I think an apt analogy.

The Cowboys are back and are legitimate Super Bowl contenders

The hype is going to be off the charts on Monday morning for the Cowboys... This was their, oh shit, the Cowboys are actually like super woke debtors. I'm mad at myself. Cause I thought about making a wager on them to win the super bowl on Monday at 12 to one... but the Cowboys are back.

Firing a GM but keeping the coach and QB is the dumbest thing a team can do

The firing of a GM and not of a coach is one of the dumbest things that a pro sports team can do. It's not stability when you've lost 10, 10 games or more every single season for five straight... Why wouldn't you just clean house top to bottom?

Washington should give Ron Rivera an extension despite the losing season

I actually think the best thing for the football team right now would be to give Ron Rivera an extension. That's really what we need... It would send a message that, okay. Yeah, we're kind of a clusterfuck, but at least we're a clusterfuck with some stability.

The Browns would be better with Kirk Cousins and the Vikings would be better with Baker Mayfield

I actually think that the way that those two teams are built, the Browns would be better with Kirk Cousins. And the Vikings would be better with baker Mayfield than they are right now... if Kirk cousins was on the Browns and it's like, okay, all you do is you take what's there. You let your defense handle business, you run the ball. That's kind of the team that he's built to win for... I think that baker would be better with the weapons that they have in Minnesota, where yeah. You can make a few mistakes, but also you can hit a shitload of home runs.

The Packers are a finesse team not built for the cold

I don't think that this Packers team is built for the cold. I think that the, I think they're built for a finesse. You know, they're built for global warming... I don't know if they're built for the call. I think that the, the Cowboys team that we're seeing right now, that team travels better than the cold than the Packers do.

The Arizona Cardinals are frauds who fall apart down the stretch

The Cardinals are frauds. The Colts went in with like a backup offensive line... and the Cardinals are back to where they were last year, where it's like falling apart, down the stretch, getting worse down the stretch... they've fallen apart two years in a row. And it's like, it's more than just a trend at this point.

The New York Jets are low-key electric and building something

I'm going to be on jets. Jets are low key electric. They may not have it all together yet... Braxton Barrios state it coast to coast, 103 yards on a kick return. Like they have something going there... Zach Wilson on that run, he looks faster in the all black uniforms.

Trevor Lawrence might be a bust after his late-game spike play

That spike he had on third down, what the fuck was that? That was crazy... he burned third down with the, with the spike. It's like, why wouldn't you, why don't you throw it to the end zone? It was crazy... that one made me think, like he might actually be a bust.

Expectations for a rookie QB to go deep in the playoffs are delusional

I don't think anyone that expected a rookie quarterback to take your team deep in the playoffs is delusional... If we're having this conversation in four years, like I do compare it to Josh Allen... It takes time. It's a progression. If Mack Jones is still where he's at today in four years, then we can have this conversation.

The Bills are built to win the Super Bowl in Los Angeles but not playoff games in the cold

I still stand by my take that these bills are, they're like built to win the super bowl. The game in Los Angeles. They, they're probably not built to win playoff games, multiple playoff games and the cold. But if they can get to the super bowl, I think they can win the super bowl.

Lamar Jackson should not have made the Pro Bowl over Joe Burrow and Josh Allen

Lamar Jackson should not have made the pro bowl. Lamar Jackson made the pro bowl over Joe burrow and Josh Allen. That's crazy to me. That's fucking crazy. Like by air, any statistical analysis, Josh Allen and Joe burrow have had better seasons, the Lamar Jackson

Jalen Hurts is not a long-term solution at quarterback for the Eagles

[Jalen Hurts] is gonna make some really good plays with his legs... and he shows he's shown us that he does that consistently. But I mean, I just don't think that's like a long lasting plan.

The future of the Washington Football Team is on an upward trajectory under Ron Rivera

The future of the organization is looking at an upward trajectory for Washington. I believe in Ron Rivera. I mean, he did it, he had the Carolina Panthers, you know, a pretty good football team for a long time.

Wide receivers are transitioning from college to the NFL at a higher rate than ever before

I think that receivers are actually transitioning at a higher rate in these last five, six years than they have ever before... a lot of these guys, there's so much more information now for younger players on how to train, what kind of drills to train.

Russell Wilson is punishing DK Metcalf for his personal life off the field

[DK Metcalf] got his shit aired out by some thought who was like, oh, DK, didn't make me sign an NDA. So I'm going to put this all over Snapchat and tell the world that he was asking me for a foursome. And now that news came out now, Russell doesn't pass it... He's punishing DK for being a red blooded American male.

The Bears should fire everyone from the front office to the owner and replace them with a real football president

The bears are just a dumpster fire. It's top down... The fact that George McCaskey has Ted Phillips and accountant making football decisions... they need to strip it down. Not only front office, not only coach, but like ownership, like all of it.

The Colts are a Super Bowl contender because of their opportunistic defense and special teams

I like Indianapolis. That defense is, they got 31 takeaways... They're just so opportunistic on defense. They can stop the run... They have a special teams. They're a tough football team.

The Washington Football Team will beat the Eagles 13-9 with Garrett Gilbert at quarterback

I feel like it's shock the world time. Oh see, you're predicting a win. I'm thinking 13, 9, 13, 9 tonight the Washington football team over the Philadelphia Eagles.

The Arizona Cardinals are officially cursed for failing to tweet the final score of their losses

The Arizona Cardinals just did not tweet the final score after they lost the lions... I'm demanding they treat the final score. I don't think they ever will... It's going to be a dangerous all out battle... as far as I'm concerned, the lions have one. An official.

I am betting on the Colts to beat the Cardinals out of spite for the Cardinals' Twitter account

I'm going with the Colts, pick them right now... I'll take them as minus a half... the Cardinals need to lose this game and they have to be forced to tweet about it. Yes. Otherwise I like, whatever, I'll stick with it. I think it's been so long that they're cursed no matter what.

The Baltimore Ravens have a better chance of winning with Tyler Huntley than Lamar Jackson

I feel like the Ravens have a better chance of beating the Bengals with Huntley than they do with Lamar. And not because Lamar is a worse player overall. But I think that whatever offense they're running with Huntley rocks, it's clicking for some reason right now.

Bill Belichick controls the game by keeping it low scoring when he 'needs' to win

My favorite under is Bills, Patriots 43 and a half. I think it's going to be another under game. Belichick likes to keep it low scoring when he really needs to win. And I think this is a need to win for the Patriots.

I'm officially nervous about my pinky bet because the Colts are for real

I'm officially nervous about my pinky. If you don't remember, the Colts are my pinky team. I am officially nervous about the tip of my pinky. I spent Saturday night looking at the nail on my left pinky being like, this might be gone. It might just be a nub. But yeah, the Colts... it felt like the biggest win the Colts have had in a very long time.

TJ Watt should win Defensive Player of the Year

TJ Watt is, I know he won't win it, but he should win defensive player of the year. I know that the Browns fans will be like Myles Garrett, Myles Garrett... but if you're talking about impact on a team, TJ Watt has 17 and a half sacks and he's played 10 full games. The Steelers, when he's playing they're seven and three, when he's either missed the game or gone out of a game, they're all three in one.

The Cardinals are frauds

I've been thinking about them [the Cardinals] all year. I've been thinking about putting the F-word on him. I know I thought about putting the S word on the soft word. They are frauds. The Cardinals are, are definitely fraudulent.

Kliff Kingsbury is a fraud who just wings it

Kliff Kingsbury, I think he just fucking wings it. In the first half they're down 10, nothing going into with two minutes left fourth and three, they go for it. Then in the second half, they're down 17, nothing, fourth and three, they kick a field goal. Then they're down 24-3 and they kick another field goal. So like, why did you go for it the first time then kick field goals the second time? I think he just wings it. I don't know. It makes no sense to me.

The Jets are going to be sick next year

This team's [the Jets] going to be sick. Next year we have draft picks and it just all starts shaping up. Progress is honestly better than a win, you know, just for the future and looking forward. I think Zach's got enough mistakes in the season. I think he's learned a lot and now it's starting to pay off.

The Cowboys are legitimate Super Bowl contenders

I threw out there that the Cowboys are legitimate Super Bowl contender last week. Lot of people were like, no way. That's crazy. I still think it. Their defense is lights out. And I know it was the Giants, but good teams, contending teams beat the fuck out of bad teams. The Cowboys get credit for beating the fuck out of the giants.

Davis Mills is the Texans' future for at least next year

Jacksonville and Davis Mills, I think I'm ready to say Davis Mills is your future for at least next year Houston. If Davis Mills had stayed for another year at Stanford, he might've been drafted by the Texans with like the first or second pick. He would have gotten all the hype. I don't think he's that bad, which is a nice thing to say about a guy who's playing on a bad team.

The 49ers are a 'don't fuck with them' team in the playoffs

I'm officially saying it. The 49ers might be my favorite team to watch play football. They are so much fucking fun to watch play football. Not only like their defense is now starting to really like hum with Bosa and everyone. But then on the offensive side of the ball, George Kittle is a monster Deebo Samuel might be the most electric player in the NFL... I'm back in love. I love watching the 49ers play football. They are legitimate. Like don't fuck with them in the playoffs team.

Aaron Rodgers is faking his toe injury to stop people from talking about his vaccination status

I think I'm a toe truther. I don't think that Aaron Rodgers actually has a toe injury. I think that he did have a toe injury... He was under a lot of fire from a lot of people from the whole immunized versus vaccinated thing. And he was like, what's going to get all the freaks out there to stop complaining about my vaccination status? I'll put out a gross foot pick and then everybody will talk about that picture... Now guess what the whole story is about how tough I'm being playing on my fake broken toe, gutting out the end of the season. No, one's talking about my vaccination status anymore.

I'm done with fourth downs; teams should just take the points

I said this in the group text earlier that I'm done with fourth downs. Every other single coach just goes for every single fourth and like three from the first quarter, second quarter, third quarter, fourth quarter... just give up points, give up points, give up points, not get the fourth down conversions and then lose the game by one. When, if they had just kicked field, they probably easily could have won that game. I'm full, wholeheartedly on the, just, just get points where you can get points team from now on.

The Chiefs are all the way back

The chiefs are all the way back in the chargers. Suck. My homes looked bad for the majority of the night until he kind of picked it up at the end of the game. But this was obviously very consequential for the AFC west and the NFL and the seatings in the AFC.

The conversion rate of fourth downs will decrease as defenses get used to teams going for it more often

Will the chances of converting [fourth down] decrease as defenses are used to you going forward on fourth down. It used to be you would go for it on fourth down, maybe once a game, maybe that was your best play in your playbook. Now you go forward on fourth, down four times a game. It has to, it can't be as high of a percentage like it's going to decrease. Eventually.

The NFL intentionally screws over non-winning fanbases like the Browns and Lions

The Browns and the lions or the say, well, I guess you could throw in the saints and the Patriots too, for other reasons. But the Browns Alliance non-winning fan bases. They get screwed by the NFL. Feels like an inordinate amount of time. It feels like the NFL essentially says, oh, well, it's the Browns who cares? Like they, like, what is a bunch of people from Cleveland going to complain?