Takes

The Jets should not draft a quarterback and instead build around Sam Darnold and Penei Sewell

Is it crazy to say that the Jets might not want to take a quarterback with the second pick? Who's gonna be there in the two-hole is the kid from Oregon, Penei Sewell, who's going to be an awesome offensive lineman. The Jets just go back-to-back, they get Sewell from Oregon. See if Sam Darnold could maybe get them for cheap. You protect him now, which is their biggest issue.

Trevor Lawrence won too much in college to be a successful NFL quarterback

I don't think Trevor Lawrence is going to be good... he's won too much in college. He's not going to be used to coming into a losing environment and having to deal with all the pressures that come along with having to deal with defeat all the time. I think he's sort of going to be like, 'Oh shit' type moment where you realize that this isn't Clemson.

Eagles fans want Carson Wentz to succeed because they feel guilty about Nick Foles

I feel responsible for sort of making [Wentz] bad because they were mean to him. Well, basically when Nick Foles won the Super Bowl... they want him to succeed because they want to believe that he could have won that Super Bowl. And he is the continuation of that story. They also don't want to admit that they were wrong to run Nick Foles out of town.

Michael Thomas is purposely avoiding playing with Drew Brees

I have a new saints theory. I think Michael Thomas hates Drew Brees. He was on the IR when Drew Brees was healthy. Drew Brees gets hurt, he plays. Drew Brees comes back, he goes right back on the IR. I think he's trying to avoid Drew Brees. I think he's trying to avoid him.

Patrick Mahomes with one eye would still be the best quarterback in the NFL

Patrick Mahomes with an eye patch would still be the best quarterback in the NFL. It's crazy. If you confiscated one of his eyesights, he would still be, I think, yeah, I just think that he's built different. If you made him close an eye, he'd probably still be able to do 70% of the shit that he does right now.

Anthony Lynn is the dumbest coach in football history

Anthony Lynn is the dumbest coach that has ever been created in coaching history. And he fumbled again. He had a bird brain. He has a goddamn bird inside of the skull. Now the bird's dead because even the bird can't stand hanging out with him.

Jon Gruden is not a good head coach

Is Jon Gruden a good head coach? Jon Gruden, his last six seasons as a NFL head coach... Jon Gruden is 40 and 61. That's really bad. Everyone routes for the Raiders to be good because it's fun when the Raiders are good. I think we've willed it to happen a little early here.

The Raiders will finish the 2020 season with a 7-9 or 8-8 record

I think we've willed it to happen a little early here, because they're not, they're going to finish probably seven and nine again or eight and eight.

The Buffalo Bills are in danger of being jinxed by media hype

I am slightly nervous about the hype for the bills. It feels like too many people... decided here's my hot take: the bills are really good. It's like, yeah, we've known they've been really good. As soon as everyone starts saying the bills are incredible, I feel like they're jinxing them.

The Buccaneers will lose to the Falcons because of special teams COVID issues

To me that seems like this seems like a heartbreaking type loss for Tampa Bay, special teams, the most important of all the units... it's not ideal to go into a division game... and then have your kicker and the person that hikes the ball to your kicker beyond the IR.

The Bears have a 90% chance to make the playoffs if they win out

If the bears have a 20% chance to get to the playoffs right now, if they win this game against the Vikings, they have a 43% chance. If they win the following week against the Jags, it's now 53% chance. If they want to get to the Packers 90% chance.

Drew Brees can no longer throw deep because of a shoulder injury

His shoulder injury. Because he forgot to tell the doctor about that. His shoulder, he can't throw deep anymore period. But his shoulder is hurt. He can't throw deep anymore, even worse. So it's like his game is so limited that defenses can plan for him being like this guy's shoulder's shot.

Cody Parkey will miss a big kick in a playoff game and ruin the Browns' season

Cody Parkey will fuck you in the face. If the Browns make the playoffs, there is no sure bet in the entire world, then Cody Parkey doing this to the Browns. Cody Parkey will miss the big kick in a playoff game for the Browns and the Browns we'll have no one to blame, but themselves because everyone has alerted you.

Losing a bet on a safety or scoregami play is a better story than a standard loss

If you had like a unit on it, it's not even that bad because that's a story that you can tell. I'd rather lose on that play and be like, 'Oh man, I can't believe I had the under in Raiders Colts.' This is a great story you can tell. I took the Browns to cover on that Monday night football game where Lamar Jackson spent half the time getting rid of the Chipotle that was in his anus.

No quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl wearing a visor

It adds up though. We don't think that any quarterback has ever won a super bowl wearing a visor. It's true. [Trace McSorley]: I guess we got to change that. [PFT]: No, I mean, I think we've got a, when it, with the visor, that's what I'm saying. We need someone to do it.

The Steelers are a fraudulent 11-2 team

The Pittsburgh Steelers are the worst 11 and 2 team of all time... Frauds was the word I was going to use. That's a team that you do not feel good about when it comes to December football going into January.

The Buffalo Bills are the only team that can beat the Chiefs

The Bills, I feel like, are the team that can beat the Chiefs. They're not going to, but I feel like they're the one team... They need Josh Allen to play his perfect game. They need their defense to play their perfect game.

Dan Bailey is likely out of a job after missing four kicks

Dan Bailey, you probably don't have a job... Mike Zimmer's quote was, at this point, we're not really worried about feelings anymore. There you go. So I'd say, Dan Bailey, you probably don't have a job.

The Bears can make the playoffs if they win out

The Bears, if they win out, they could actually get back into this thing. It's crazy. It's stupid... If they win out and the Cardinals lose one of their last three, they would be in over the Cardinals.

The Broncos will be my team to make the playoffs next year if they find a quarterback

The Broncos, I'll call it right now, are going to be my team to make the playoffs next year after missing it this year... If they can find a quarterback, I will be in on the Broncos next year big time.

Derrick Henry is on pace for 2,000 rushing yards

I'm officially putting a 2K watch on Derrick Henry right now. He's got 1,532 rushing yards. He's got three games left. He plays the Lions. The Packers... then the Texans... three games, he could get it.

Leonard Fournette at fourth overall was a worse pick than Mitch Trubisky

I think Leonard Fournette being drafted fourth in 2017 was a worse pick than Mitch Trubisky... taking a running back with the fourth overall pick is crazy... you cut him, and then the guy who comes in, who's like a no-name [James Robinson], does really well.

Bill Belichick might lose to the Jets on purpose to block them from Trevor Lawrence

Is there any way that Belichick would lose intentionally to the Jets? [to keep Trevor Lawrence out of the division]... I would absolutely see Belichick doing that to keep Trevor Lawrence out of the division. That would be incredible.

Aaron Rodgers has a stranglehold on the NFL MVP race

Aaron Rodgers takes a stranglehold on the MVP... I officially want to hop in front of a bus. Rodgers MVP. Fuck.

Taysom Hill is a 'buffet' player but you can't build a Super Bowl team with him

Taysom Hill is like a buffet... but are you really loving a buffet? Don't you just want to go out and get a nice steak... you can't build a house with a Swiss Army knife. Big Cat, Dan, you can't build a house with a Swiss Army knife.

The Patriots are officially dead

Today is Friday, December 11th and the Patriots Hank. Are dead.

The Rams are very much for real

The Rams, I think, are very much for real.

Cam Newton might retire after this season

I don't know, I think Cam Newton might retire after this year.

The Dolphins are not for real

Are the Dolphins for real? No. No, they're not.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the most talented team in the NFL

I'm going to go to my deathbed saying this. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the most talented team in the NFL.

The Bills are going to crush the Steelers

I think the Bills are going to crush them, actually.

Greg Williams called the cover zero blitz on purpose to spite Adam Gase

I think he did it on purpose based on the fact that he and Adam Gase just don't get along. ... The only way you lose that game is to make the call that Greg Williams made. And I just think that Greg wanted Adam Gase to wear 0-16 on his resume.

The Giants will win the NFC East if Daniel Jones stays healthy

If old Peyton Manning clone Daniel Jones can stay healthy, man, they'll win that division.

Aaron Rodgers is the 2020 NFL MVP over Patrick Mahomes

Rodgers right now is putting up career numbers. ... If we're going to judge the MVP based off what you've done and how great you've been, don't we have to judge Mahomes off what he did his MVP year... I think Mahomes has entered the LeBron category whereas he's clearly the best player in the league... but it's not a career year for him.

Alex Smith will be the Washington quarterback in 2021

I think Alex Smith will be there. He'll be the quarterback next year. And then they will draft a guy because Ron Rivera clearly wants his own quarterback.

I will run a sub-4.8 40-yard dash at the NFL Combine

I ran a 4.79 when I was in high school. ... I think we can easy target for [sub-4.8].

The NFC East might get three teams into the playoffs

I crunched numbers... I went on the ESPN playoff machine for like an hour until I got the equation right. And if Tampa Bay ties the Vikings this week, then the Eagles could also get in... We might get three teams in [the playoffs] Big Cat.

The Washington Football Team and New York Giants are legitimate good teams that could win a playoff game

In all honesty, I think that the NFC East jokes are gone in the fact that whether it be the Washington football team or the New York Giants, both of those teams are good teams that if they get in the playoffs, they could win a game... I'll probably bet on them.

Getting benched is the best thing that ever happened to Carson Wentz

I actually think Carson Wentz getting benched was the greatest thing that's ever happened to Carson Wentz. Dude, he's going to get paid to not play football. And he's really bad. So now he doesn't have to be really bad every week. I'm sure he dreaded playing football.

Mr. Unlimited is a 'killer instinct mentality' and an 'alter ego'

Unlimited comes from this idea that... You know, you have to, you know, in the midst of a season, in the midst of life, you have to be able to, one, first of all, have fun and joke around. But I think also, too, you kind of got to have this killer instinct, you know, no matter what you do, you know, you kind of have got to have this other side of you. This is kind of the other side of me, you know, Mr. Unlimited, just that mentality, you know, that anything's possible.

I have a clutch gene that runs through my veins and strikes fear in the other team

You got to have a clutch gene. You got to have this clutch gene. You got to have that DNA where it runs through your veins and it runs through your team it runs through the emotion of the game and it runs through the other team's mind too as well.

When I walk on the field I feel like Michael Jordan or Derek Jeter stepping up to the plate

It's like Michael Jordan or a certain Derek Jeter comes up to the plate. The guy on second base, you feel like he's always going to knock him in. I feel like that every time I walk up to the plate. I feel like that every time I walk up to the field.

You just humble-answered me — that's exactly what we asked you not to do

All right, but you're fucking awesome. You just humble answered me. You just did the same thing.

The Super Bowl loss changed my career for the better — that's where being unlimited comes from

I think it changed my career for the better in terms of how I overcome obstacles, how I come through situations, how I get ready and be fully prepared. That was a critical moment, and I think that's where that alter ego kind of comes up a little bit. You've got to be a little bit unlimited when everybody else is telling you you're not this, you're not that.

The Super Bowl interception doesn't pop into my head anymore — I've trained my brain

It doesn't really pop in my head. I think, I think, I think the first year it pops in your head almost every day. Um, but I think, you know, now, um, you know, for me, I've trained my, I've trained, I've trained my, I've trained my brain every day to know that man, stuff's going to happen, man.

When you launch a 60-yard deep ball on the road and the whole crowd goes silent, there's this peace

One of my favorite things when you're playing on the road and everybody's booing you, everybody's screaming and the whole crowd noise and all that stuff's going on. And then you got a guy going down the sideline, you launch this 60 yard deep go ball and the whole crowd goes, yeah. And there's this pause and moment in time where the ball's spinning down in the air, and boom, he catches it.

The Rose Bowl field feels like a par five golf green

the sun's just going down and the field feels like a golf course it feels like a par five right on the green

Phil Knight told me after the Rose Bowl I'd be one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time

sure enough phil knight comes out right in front of me and he goes oh man nice game russell i want to make you a nike athlete one day when you're ready to play in the nfl and i think you're going to be one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time

I'm officially abandoning my Drew Lock 'moxie' take

Drew Lock, I'm ready to abandon. I'm not apologizing. I'm ready to abandon my Drew Lock take, the Moxie take. Please advise me for the most elegant way I can dismount from that take without admitting I was wrong about it.

Noah Fant will be an awesome tight end for his second NFL team

I have a take on Noah Fant. I think that Noah Fant is going to be an awesome tight end when he goes to his second team. Yes. That dude is, like, he is baby Eric Ebron... He's just waiting for somebody that – or, like, a decent offense that can get him the ball occasionally.