Takes

The Jets will win enough games with Sam Darnold that fans will pretend they were Super Bowl contenders

The Jets are going to win just enough games with Sam Darnold this year. Where if he didn't get mono, they would have made the playoffs. And then he's going to be good enough that in the offseason, everyone says Sam Darnold, Dark Horse MVP. And then he gets hurt next year or takes a step back.

Atlanta is the saddest sports city on Earth

Atlanta is truly the saddest place on Earth with sports... They gave up 10 runs first inning. I've never seen anything like that... 28 to 3 Super Bowl, which is the biggest collapse maybe in sports history... The Braves won 14 straight division titles and they had one World Series to show for it.

The Rams, Ravens, and Cowboys moneyline parlay cannot lose

My can't-lose parlay: the Rams moneyline, the Ravens moneyline, the Cowboys moneyline. I think that's plus odds... I don't see how a single one of those losses. Grams... that is a hungry dog run fast... Rams need it. Ravens will not lose just put that one away to play the Bengals and the Cowboys will not lose their playing the Jets.

The 49ers might not be good because they lost fullback Kyle Juszczyk

The 49ers lost a very key component to their attack in Monday night. They lost their fullback Kyle Juszczyk... they're going to struggle to fill that role because Juszczyk is really, really good. Correct, and they use them in a way that is kind of key to their offense.

The Redskins should never be favored by 3.5 points against anyone

The Redskins shouldn't be three and a half point favorites against anyone. And then you can make yours even if you lose and the Redskins win by 14 you're like: Guess what? I'd do it again because the Redskins shouldn't be three and a half point favorites against anyone.

DeAndre Hopkins has the best hands in NFL history

Definitely my boy [DeAndre Hopkins] man. I mean, there ain't nobody in the game—I don't think anybody in history—got better hands than [Hopkins]. He's the only receiver ever done it when he had zero drops in one season, 115 catches. That's pretty crazy.

Baker Mayfield's silence on the Richard Sherman handshake controversy speaks volumes

[Baker Mayfield] has not addressed the handshake controversy brought to light by Richard Sherman. I would say his silence speaks volumes.

I am not a believer in the 2019 Baltimore Ravens

The AFC North stinks. I'm not a believer in the Baltimore Ravens.

The 49ers are a 'good, good football team'

I think we need to actually give more credit to the 49ers. Yes, because the 49ers are a good, good football team. The difference between Kyle Shanahan's offense and Freddie Kitchens was like they were playing two totally different games.

I am 75% confident that Dan Snyder is trying to trade for Mike Tomlin

Leroy reported earlier today that Dan Snyder's plane was in Pittsburgh at the private airport with photo evidence. I'm 75% confident in that scoop... He's trying to trade for Mike Tomlin.

Minnesota is low-key the saddest sports city in America

[The Twins] have lost, was it 15 straight postseason games? ... All of Minnesota, they're borderline the most cursed sports city of all time. I've said that. They are low-key the saddest sports city when people always go to Cleveland or Buffalo.

The Jaguars should trade Nick Foles for a 6th round pick and go all in on Gardner Minshew

Trade Nick Foles? Absolutely. Dude, I would trade him for a six-round conditional pick. ... [Gardner Minshew] is amazing. Why would I not be [all in]?

Pass interference flags are the dumbest rule the NFL has ever implemented

Can we talk about the fact that PI flags are the dumbest rule the NFL has ever done. I think it was put out there as a trick on coaches to see which coaches have the least amount of respect for the officiating crews... It slows the game down. There's never ever going to be an overturned.

Penalties occurring after a negated interception should not count

The rule that if you have like a excessive celebration or a, you know, Block in the back or something on an interception that gets negated. It shouldn't count. if the interception is negated everything after that should be allocated.

The Chiefs are a regular season team that will get bullied in the playoffs

It's kind of like the old Peyton Manning Colts teams who would put up, you know, insane stats in the regular season and then get bullied in the in the postseason.

Lamar Jackson is poised for a big drop-off in the second half of the season

Lamar Jackson stinks talk about him. He stinks again... I think that this is a team that is poised to take a big drop-off in the second half of season. Lamar Jackson to notice. I notice this take he he looked a step slower than he has the first few weeks.

The Buffalo Bills will be at worst 7-3 heading into week 11

The Buffalo Bills are foreign one. The Buffalo Bills in their next five games have the Dolphins twice and the Redskins once. The Buffalo Bills are going to be at worst seven and three going in to week 11.

I would trade a first-round pick for Justin Tucker

Honestly the way the Titans are built where its defense and you don't know which Marcus Mariota you're going to get I would trade a first-round pick for Justin Tucker.

The Chicago Bears are officially fucked

The Bears are fucked. I don't feel like the future. I don't think they're fuck for we've gone all in and we have no offense and the schedule is going to be insanely hard coming up and they are not a well-balanced team... the Bears are officially fucked.

Daniel Jones needs a dumber face if he wants to be the Giants quarterback

Daniel Jones if he's going to be the heir apparent to Eli Manning, he's got to work on his dumb face. He he kept his mouth closed. That's sad open that mouth dude... We need you to walk around with your mouth wide open looking dumb, if you want to be the New York Giants quarterback.

Adam Gase will be fired after just one year with the Jets

I honestly think they will fire him. I don't think so after one year... The Cardinals did it last year like the immigrant it happens longer.

Jay Gruden will be fired by the time this podcast is released

Jay Gruden might be gone by the time you're listening to this right now.

The Cowboys should pay Dak Prescott immediately because the delay is hurting his confidence

I think you should pay him right now. I think that every week they don't know that you go without paying them is a week that he feels deep down inside like he doesn't deserve that contract. So if you give him his money then he starts playing again like a guy that is owed that money.

Bill Belichick broke Sean McVay's brain and provided the blueprint for the rest of the NFL

I think the correct way to approach this narrative is, did Bill Belichick break Sean McVay's brain? The books, right now, there's a blueprint out there. This is Copycat League, okay? ... The defenses have caught up to Sean McVay's brain.

My 'Can't Lose' Parlay for Week 5 is the Bears, Eagles, Patriots, and Chiefs

The Can't Lose Parlay of the week. It cannot lose. Drumroll. The Bears, Khalil Mack, revenge game. Philly, they're not losing to the Jets. The Patriots, they're not losing to the Redskins. And then you get to just sit back and enjoy the Sunday night football game and have the Chiefs.

The Ravens are severely overrated

I do think the Ravens are severely overrated. ... They've done a major comeback to earth for the last couple weeks.

Betting every single moneyline underdog is a winning strategy

I love 11 Moneyline underdogs. ... It worked out really well for me last week, and I'm very concerned because I know it's probably not going to work out as well. ... I've convinced so many people in the office that it's a winning strategy.

Andy Dalton is done as a relevant quarterback

And then the Bangles, who is it? Is that it for Andy Dalton? Are we done? I think we're done here. I think it's time to just be done because the Bengals are terrible.

Ben Roethlisberger gets healthier the more he gets injured

I think he gets healthier the more he gets injured if that makes sense because he had some spunk in his step. He was very demonstrative. He was like jogging back and forth. I like big been injured on the sidelines better than I like him in a game.

Kirk Cousins is a beta for apologizing to Adam Thielen

Our long National nightmare is over. Yes Kirk Cousins apologize to Adam thielen for not throwing the ball more deep on Sunday... so such a beta so so virgin Kirk Cousins Chad Adam thielen.

Mason Rudolph is not a starting quarterback in the NFL

I've said it and the end this will confirm it tomorrow night. I don't care how good [Mason Rudolph] is tomorrow night if he does really, really well. He's not a starting quarterback in the NFL. I've seen enough of his face.

The Falcons are officially dead for the 2019 season

Falcons are dead. They are officially dead... I don't even think they have like fighting them. Dan Quinn needs to be fired.

Patrick Mahomes is allergic to air conditioning and indoor stadiums

Mahomes first game indoors... I just think he's allergic to air conditioning... He's the reverse the maybe that is his one Kryptonite, right? The ceilings is... healing is literally the roof. He can't handle the fact that he can't throw the ball like a million million yards in the air when he's throwing it deep to someone he needs the sun. He's like a plant.

The Ravens are frauds

The Ravens are frauds. Ravens are hot Ravens are frauds not fraudulent footballs. I don't know what fraud means in the context of football team really but it feels great to call a team a fraud.

Bruce Arians has fixed Jameis Winston

Bruce Arians... he has fixed him. Well he's gotten through to him.

You cannot win with a kicker named Zane

You can't win with a kicker named Zane... Zane does sound like a guy that rides like a go-ped and sells weed to surfers... has frosted tips... probably has a pacifier in his mouth because he's just so high on Molly all the time.

Chase Daniel has a higher floor but lower ceiling than Mitchell Trubisky

I think that chase [Daniel] has a lower ceiling but a higher floor... then Mitchell [Trubisky] does. He's not going to make mistakes. He's not going to lose you the game. But... if the Bears ever get into a game where they have to score and have to throw the ball downfield he's not going to be that guy.

Arch Manning will be a quarterback in the NFL for 20 years

Arch Manning who's going to be a quarterback in the NFL for 20 years. Arch Manning is going to play in the NFL for 20 years isn't he?

Joe Flacco doesn't make me feel alive as a quarterback

Joe Flacco... he wasn't bad and the defense actually had a sack... but what do you do... Joe Flacco didn't play bad are settling for him. That's what we're doing. We're selling he's tall he's on paper. He's great. But you know, he doesn't make me feel alive.

The Green Bay Packers are dead

Today is Friday, September 27th, and the Green Bay Packers are dead.

Aaron Rodgers gets 'too cool' in the red zone

As Skip Bayless said, Aaron Rodgers gets too cool in the red zone.

The Titans will win and win convincingly against the Falcons

If a Mike Vrabel coached team is an underdog and people are counting them out, that's when you bet on them. So just take them because this is a game that the Titans will win and win convincingly.

Patrick Mahomes will throw for 6,000 yards

He's still going to throw for 6,000 yards. When I say he's taken a step back, I mean he went from 100 out of 100 to like 99.5 out of 100.

My 'No-Lose' Parlay: Colts, Chiefs, and Rams Moneyline

This is going to be my no-lose parlay of the week... Colts, no chance they lose to the Raiders. Chiefs, no chance they lose to the Lions. Rams, no chance they lose to the Bucs... It will not lose. And if it does, pretend that you don't know me.

Jon Gruden was calling out every Raiders play during the 2003 Super Bowl

[Gruden] was running as Rich Gannon. He was doing Gannon and when we go over two minutes on Fridays, he was doing there he'd take everything call out everything call out every freaking play and everything like that dink and dunk and he was actually... Yeah, he was calling exactly everything that was going on.

The fullback should be in the Hall of Fame as a position

I think there should be a fullback in the Hall of Fame. I think if you look at Moose Johnson, you look at guys like Sam Gash, you look at, you know, even Corey Schlesinger... I look at it and I'm just like, I just think that there has been, they let red guy, you let punters and stuff in. It should be a fullback, should be in the Hall of Fame.

Dan Snyder must be removed as owner of the Redskins

The nepotism, the racial slurs, the incompetent one-sided negotiations, the the awful trade deals that were getting ourselves into... it's time that we remove Dan Snyder. It's time we get his ass out of the nation's capital.

The Redskins have a zero percent chance of beating the Giants next week

Zero percent chance. Zero percent chance... even when the Giants are awful they lose by 30 in the middle and they they they they could be Giants next week zero percent chance.

Mason Rudolph is a 'dumb face' quarterback who will never be a winning starter

Mason Rudolph has a dumb face. I've done my I've done my analysis of him. He's never going to be a winning quarterback.

Jay Gruden will be the first NFL coach fired this season

Jay Gruden. Yeah, he's gone. He's gone, maybe midseason. Who knows?... Jay Gruden is by far the most likely [to be first fired].