NFL Week 6, Fastest 2 Minutes, Mariota + Jameis, Plus A Restaurant For Magicians

Jameis Winston is the funniest physical comedian in NFL history

This was, in my mind, the quintessential Jameis Winston performance. He is the funniest person I have ever watched in my entire life when it comes to physical comedy. His body makes no sense. He flails everywhere. He had five interceptions, fumbled on back-to-back plays, lost one of them. He started the game first play pick. Ended the game, last play pick.

It is over for Jameis Winston in Tampa Bay

I can't wait for him to be a backup quarterback, but it's over in Tampa for him.

Freddie Kitchens is the root of all the problems in Cleveland

I think that [Kitchens] is ultimately the root of all the problems that are going on out there in Cleveland.

The Houston Texans are officially for real

I am ready to say the Houston Texans are for real. They're for real. Okay. Yep. That's it... This road win in Arrowhead... I am officially saying I respect the Houston Texans, and I think they are very good.

The Kansas City Chiefs are a soft football team

I'm going to say it again. I did say it last week that the S word, I'll say it. They're soft... When you can just go into a team's home environment... and run the ball like the Colts did and like the Texans did, you get the soft tag for me.

I will remove the 'fraud' tag from the Ravens if they win one of their next two games

Ravens fans, I will take off the F-word tag I've put on your team. If you win one of the two next games, you're going to at Seattle and then you're playing at home against New England. If you win one of those games, I will now take the Ravens for real and I will eliminate the fraud tag.

The Los Angeles Chargers are officially done for the season

Chargers are done. Chargers are done. Did I done them last week? I didn't done them last week. They're done. They're officially done.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are going to win the AFC North

I said this to you, PFT, a few weeks ago. I think the Steelers are still going to win the AFC North... They'll just go and fuck around and win this whole thing.

The San Francisco 49ers are officially for real

I'm instead going to use this time to say... I believe in the 49ers now. I apologize to the 49ers. I picked against them almost every single week. Their defense is very, very good. And George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL.

Marcus Mariota is finished as a starter in the NFL

Marcus Mariota, it's a wrap. It's a wrap. It's over.

The Jets will win enough games with Sam Darnold that fans will pretend they were Super Bowl contenders

The Jets are going to win just enough games with Sam Darnold this year. Where if he didn't get mono, they would have made the playoffs. And then he's going to be good enough that in the offseason, everyone says Sam Darnold, Dark Horse MVP. And then he gets hurt next year or takes a step back.

Wisconsin and Ohio State should play on aggregate like the Champions League

They should do it on aggregate, like they do in the Champions League... I've already convinced myself, PFT, that we have a two-game series against Ohio State. So, go to Columbus, get your recon in, maybe lose that game, but learn a lot, and then beat them in Indy.

Zion Williamson shooting 80% in the preseason is incredibly impressive

Last three preseason games, 77 points in 81 minutes and 29 for 36 field goals, shooting 80%... 80% is pretty damn good, I would say.

The husband starting the magician restaurant is going to go bankrupt

Guess what? You're opening a magician's restaurant and you're putting all your life savings into it and your kids aren't going to college because their dad is going to be opening a magician's restaurant that's probably going to be pretty sweet until you go bankrupt like three months into it.