PMT DB
PMT DB
Jerry Springer and Kyle Long on Bears Victory and Washington Disasters
The Bears finally looked like a functional football team on Monday Night Football, which is great for Big Cat’s mental health but absolutely devastating for PFT’s soul. Watching the Washington Redskins operate as a professional franchise is becoming a national health crisis. From the guy mixing Gatorade with styrofoam cups to the general incompetence of the front office, PFT is officially done with the regime.
PFT CommenterDan Snyder must be removed as owner of the Redskins
The nepotism, the racial slurs, the incompetent one-sided negotiations, the the awful trade deals that were getting ourselves into... it's a fucking National embarrassment... it's time that we remove Dan Snyder.
While Big Cat is busy celebrating a win, PFT is already looking ahead to the inevitable collapse in the divisional matchups. He doesn't even think a change of scenery against a bad team will help Washington turn the corner next week.
PFT CommenterThe Redskins have a zero percent chance of beating the Giants next week
Zero percent chance. Zero percent chance... even when the Giants are awful they lose by 30 in the middle and they they they they could be Giants next week zero percent chance.
Big Cat, on the other hand, is ready to book the parade route in Chicago. The defense looked terrifying and Mitch Trubisky did just enough to make people remember why he was a high draft pick.
Big CatThe Bears are officially back after their win against the Redskins
Mitch [Trubisky] is back here... Mitch looks good last night. I'm still the jury's still out on the Bears offense, but the Bears defense is unbelievable and Khalil Mack is a problem for everyone... Bears are back. I've declared it. I think you guys feeling good after that win.
Kyle Long called in from the Bears locker room to discuss the "huge, enormous" win and the vibes inside Club Dub. Kyle broke down the feeling of playing "bully ball" and how the defense sets the tone for the entire squad. Big Cat and PFT tried to get some inside info on certain locker room visuals that may or may not have been caught on camera, but Kyle handled the "angles" like a pro, comparing the perspective to a fisherman holding a fish closer to the lens.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a deep dive into the impending robot uprising. PFT is convinced that Boston Dynamics is building an army of parkour-fighting super soldiers to eventually replace human wide receivers.
PFT CommenterHumanity is on the hot seat because Boston Dynamics is creating robot super soldiers to replace us
My hot seat is humanity. Humanity officially on the hot seat because Boston Dynamics just released a video of another robot. This one's doing like parkour he's doing 360 degree spins jumps Landings. It just they're essentially creating super soldiers.
This led to a theory about the world's most powerful billionaires. Big Cat posited that Elon Musk is merely a flashy distraction for the real mastermind, Jeff Bezos, who is quietly mapping everyone's basement and preparing for world domination.
Big CatElon Musk is actually a front for Jeff Bezos
Elon Musk is actually Jeff Bezos. It's his front. So Elon Musk is like we're going to go to Mars... so everyone talks about him and then Jeff Bezos is in the background doing the real shit doing the drones doing all that.
PFT CommenterJeff Bezos remains bald to keep the 'fire within' to destroy the world
Bald guys are angrier... I think he keeps himself bald to keep that Fire Within. If he had his hair he be like everything's perfect. Why would I build a bunch of robot drones that could kill the world?
The legend himself, Jerry Springer, joined the show to talk about his transition from politics to the circus of daytime TV and his new venture, *Judge Jerry*. Jerry explained that he never actually knew the topics of his episodes before walking out on stage, which kept his reactions authentic. He even recounted the time Jim Harbaugh stopped him at Disneyland to tell him he was a superfan who watched the show between practices. Jerry also didn't hesitate when it came to the big baseball questions.
Pete Rose belongs in the Baseball Hall of Fame
Pete Rose Hall of Famer has to be in. Yes. Okay.
In the segments, How Dare You Sir focused on Michael Vick criticizing Cam Newton’s fashion choices. PFT found it a bit rich that the man with Vick's history was suddenly acting as the arbiter of what is and isn't a distraction to a football team.
PFT CommenterMichael Vick is not the moral authority to criticize Cam Newton's fashion
Michael Vick saying how dare you sir to Cam Newton wearing ridiculous postgame outfits... so strong words from the moral authority of quarterback play. Stay stick to just playing football don't do anything outside of football like wearing ridiculous outfits or murdering dogs.
Finally, the show wrapped up with Guys on Chicks, featuring a medical theory from Big Cat that should probably be fact-checked by anyone other than an anonymous person on Reddit.
Big CatThe umbilical cord acts like a snorkel so pregnant women can swim without the baby drowning
Umbilical cord is like a snorkel. So if you keep your belly button above the water is fine. That's actually fact for real. Yeah, that's how babies breathe.
We’ll see you on Friday with a guest so big we can't even tell you who it is yet.
