The Redskins have a zero percent chance of beating the Giants next week

Zero percent chance. Zero percent chance... even when the Giants are awful they lose by 30 in the middle and they they they they could be Giants next week zero percent chance.

The Bears are officially back after their win against the Redskins

Mitch [Trubisky] is back here... Mitch looks good last night. I'm still the jury's still out on the Bears offense, but the Bears defense is unbelievable and Khalil Mack is a problem for everyone... Bears are back. I've declared it. I think you guys feeling good after that win.

Mason Rudolph is a 'dumb face' quarterback who will never be a winning starter

Mason Rudolph has a dumb face. I've done my I've done my analysis of him. He's never going to be a winning quarterback.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.