Takes

The Raiders have a 65% chance of moving to Las Vegas and 35% chance to San Diego

I'd say right now it's probably 65% Vegas, 35% maybe San Diego. I thought it was pretty much a done deal by now. Can you come up with $650 million to get this thing to go right?

Tony Romo will play for the Chicago Bears next season

Tony Romo, is he going to play in Dallas or Houston next year? He'll be playing, I think, in Chicago.

The Cleveland Browns will go 8-8 and Hue Jackson will be Coach of the Year in 2017

Hugh Jackson is going to go eight and eight next year. The Cleveland Browns are going to turn it around. He can build on that one-win season. Hugh Jackson, coach of the year, 2017. Book it.

Hiring a guy who failed at broadcasting to be a General Manager never fails

The nice thing is you always, when you're an owner of a football team, you always want to find the guy that failed at broadcasting and hire him to be the GM. Yes, exactly. That never, ever fails. Matt Millen. Yes, exactly. That never, ever fails.

Hiring a failed broadcaster as GM is a winning strategy

The nice thing is you always, when you're an owner of a football team, you always want to find the guy that failed at broadcasting and hire him to be the GM. Yes, exactly. That never, ever fails.

A real American stays inside on Sunday and watches the Pro Bowl

Hey, you know what it means to be a real American? You stay inside on Sunday and you watch the Pro Bowl. Yeah, you watch the Pro Bowl. You bet on the Pro Bowl. That's what an American does.

The NFL is stirring up political protests via back channels to boost the Falcons' Rise Up hashtag

A little stay woke on this. NFL stirring up controversy through back channels to get people to tweet the Rise Up hashtag. I actually completely agree with you because what's one of the storylines of this Super Bowl? Atlanta, bad sports town. Not a lot of Falcons fans. Guess what? Now we are all Falcons fans.

Matt Ryan has been underappreciated for a long time

I do think Matt Ryan has been underappreciated. I thought this was a serious sports part of the podcast... No, I think Matt Ryan's underappreciated, has long been underappreciated. So I'm rooting for him because I want to see him get a bite of this apple.

Roger Goodell is gaslighting fans into thinking Thursday Night Football is a good product

Well, it's called gaslighting, Big Cat, and it's actually like a thing that works. So Goodell is gaslighting us, which is awesome. He's doing a really good job of it. He's saying, you all enjoyed watching Thursday Night Football. It was a great product. And then if he says enough, I'm like, holy shit. Thursday night football was awesome.

Michael Phelps will come out of retirement to swim in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics

Michael Phelps, Tokyo. He's swimming, right? Yes. Oh, there we go. You know what? I've said this before in 2012. I said he announced his retirement. He wasn't going to come back. And I was like, you're going to come back. Come on. And guess what he did? He came back. Same thing. He's going to do it. I think he's just I think he's going to come back.

Ben Roethlisberger is not actually retiring; he just enjoys the attention

Big Ben's not retiring. Come on... A little pre-prediction, though. Big Ben has now reached the point of his career where he's just going to Brett Favre for this every year. Like he'll end up playing for some weird. Big Ben's destiny is to like play one weird season for the Jaguars.

White cleats scientifically make you faster

Scientifically, white cleats do make you faster. That's actually just science. You just look a lot faster. You feel a lot faster. Look good, play good.

I'm taking the Patriots minus the three points in Super Bowl 51

I'm taking the Patriots minus the three points in the big game. Patriots 36, Steelers 17. What?

The NFL is trying to eliminate kickoffs by moving them up to the 30-yard line

Do you feel in the back of your mind that the NFL one day is going to just eliminate kickoffs entirely? Are you worried about that at all? ... They trying to right now. That's why they took it out of the Pro Bowl. So they're trying to get it out. That's why they moved the kick up to the 30 because kickers can kick. So they want them kicking out the end zone every time.

The NFL is in cahoots with the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys

Because everybody loves Green Bay. Everybody wants to see Green Bay on top. ... Oh, so conspiracy. The league. The league has a conspiracy. ... Headline grab. ... Green Bay is in cahoots with the league. Yeah. They like the... Done. It was Dallas, you know.

I would love to play running back

I would love to play running back. Whoa, that's another headline grab. I think any receiver in my position would love to play running back. Because people always say he's just a running back when he gets the ball in his hand.

The Packers are essentially ISIS for Jordy Nelson wearing a Kevlar vest

This is a respect to biz for Jordy Nelson to start respecting the military more. It's stolen valor for him to be wearing body armor without actually getting shot at during the game. ... Basically the Packers are ISIS.

The Patriots are a better team specifically because of Dion Lewis

Actually, the real reason is Dion Lewis. They are 14-0 when [Lewis] plays. [Brady's] a system quarterback, in other words.

Matt Ryan is the new Joe Flacco and is entering 'clutch gene' territory

Matt Ryan is going to be the new Joe Flacco. Right now, the story on Matt Ryan is he doesn't have the clutch gene. If he wins this game, he might have the clutch gene. He's getting into the clutch gene territory.

Aaron Rodgers will fake an injury if the Packers are losing big in the second half

Yeah, probably sometime around the third quarter, if they're losing by more than two touchdowns, there will be a sudden ailment to his elbow. He'll go in the tent... and Joe Buck will go on for like five minutes about the importance of stretching.

The Steelers are the most beloved dynasty in American sports history

Is there any doubt that the Pittsburgh Steelers are the most beloved dynasty in American sports history? I don't think Belichick and Brady... they're not going to stack up with the Pittsburgh Steelers in terms of the affection that our football nation has for the black and gold.

Adrian Peterson is currently better than Le'Veon Bell

[Le'Veon Bell] is the best running back in the NFL? I think Adrian Peterson is still better than he is.

I would rather have two more years of Tom Brady than five years of Jimmy Garoppolo and two first-round picks

[I'd take] Brady. I think we're going to have both, but Brady in that situation. [Even over Garoppolo for five years and two first round picks].

The Patriots will select Christian McCaffrey with the 32nd pick in the NFL Draft

Christian McCaffrey, number 32 to the Patriots. Wow. Uhhh ya think? Him and Woodhead in the backfield together? Split backs. Bring back the old split back formation.

Skip Bayless is correct that Aaron Rodgers is lucky and Dak Prescott outplayed him

I still can't believe Mason Crosby barely made those sorry-looking field goals and saved Aaron Rodgers from Dak Prescott. Skip is my lord and savior right now with the Aaron Rodgers hate. The way he spun that, Dak Prescott outplayed Aaron Rodgers.

Bill Belichick intentionally messes up social media app names to mess with the media

This is the second time that Belichick has intentionally messed up two apps. I think that Belichick knows a lot more about social media than he's letting on... Belichick pretends to not know what Facebook is... he's just absolutely fucking with the media and just putting on this show like, oh, I don't know what any of this is. And meanwhile, he goes out behind the curtain. He's got five cell phones and he immediately checks all his players' accounts.

Aaron Rodgers is trying to 'cuck' Brett Favre's legacy

Uncoachable. He's now trying to cuck Brett Favre's legacy like a kid just running around back there. Brett Favre was the ultimate draw something up in the dirt. It's like the last thing that Brett Favre has. He was an old school gunslinger. Just go out there and I'll hit you. And now Aaron Rodgers is taking that from him.

Pete Carroll is a cheater for lying on injury reports

My hot seat is Pete Carroll, coach of the Seattle Cheahawks. Got caught cheating... by lying about his injury report saying Richard Sherman, he had an injury the whole season, and he basically lied on the injury report every single week... his crime was lying and cheating.

The Steelers must start fast and take the Foxborough crowd out of the game to beat the Patriots

For one, it's going to be tough. It's one of the toughest environments I had a chance of playing throughout my career... they need to jump out fast. I mean, the first quarter or two, take the win out of the crowd. Once that happens, now they're on the playing field.

I am officially unretired and would return to the NFL if a contender offered $10 million

If I had a good opportunity I want to play I want to play with a team that I have an opportunity to go win a championship because that's the only part of my career that is missing you know I'm missing the ring so if I had an opportunity to get a ring of course I go back in a second.

Los Angeles is not ready to support two NFL teams

I don't think L.A. is ready for two football teams. They're still trying to get their feet on their own with the Rams, even though they didn't play well this last year... they don't show up until halftime.

Tom Brady gamed his combine/strength tests or the Patriots are lying about his scores improving with age

The damnest thing is happening with Brady. In each of the past three years, he improved his test scores in every category... [Hmm]. I used to do that when I did CrossFit... how you did one round, you had to beat it the next round. So you would just do really, really bad the first one. And then just kind of coast the rest. So maybe that's what Brady's doing.

Tony Romo would have won the Divisional game for the Cowboys against the Packers

Tony Romo probably would have won that game in Dallas. Dak [Prescott] took a little too long to get going. Dak is better than Tony, but he's exactly better enough that the Cowboys would have scored later on in the game to tie it up. So Dak scored too soon. He was too efficient. Romo would have tied it, sent it to overtime.

The Green Bay vs. Atlanta NFC Championship will be 'Mickey Mouse football' with no tackling

Green Bay against Atlanta is going to basically just be first one to 50. The Big 12 is going to be playing the NFC Championship game. I could not be more excited. It's Mickey Mouse football. Yeah, no tackling. It's flag football.

I am done with Brock Osweiler forever

I am seriously, though. I'm done with Brock Osweiler. I'm done with him forever. He's ruined football games for me, multiple football games for me this year. Stop trying to make Brock Osweiler happen.

Tony Romo will try to get released by the Cowboys rather than traded

I expect that Tony Romo is going to try to get himself released... You guys decided to move on. I want to stay. I want to compete for the starting job. You won't let me. Why do you insist on trading me to another team? Now, how the Cowboys respond to that is going to be the big question because Jerry Jones has an asset under contract... I think he's going to try to get released.

Aaron Rodgers and the Packers have underachieved over the last six years

What we've seen the last eight games out of Aaron Rodgers makes me wonder, why in the hell haven't we seen that the last six years? Why are they continuously wanting out in the playoffs? Why do they continue to underachieve? Aaron Rodgers is one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the sport of football. How does he not already have more than one Super Bowl win?

Jon Gruden and Peyton Manning were a package deal for the Colts

What I've been told is Peyton Manning and John Gruden have a very, very good relationship. They're very close... but it was a package deal of Peyton Manning and John Gruden. Gruden didn't want to do it. And now the question is, are they going to get Peyton Manning, and who else would he want as the coach... partial ownership, I think, would get Peyton's attention.

Devin Hester is a Hall of Famer and will eventually get in

I think he is. Well, if any kicker or punter is worthy of getting in, Devin Hester is worthy of getting in, and I think he eventually will. Now, that doesn't mean he gets in on the first try, but I think eventually he's going to get in. You've got to find a spot for a guy who was transcendent in what he did in the return game.

The Bears will try to trade Jay Cutler this offseason

He's got a very tradable contract, $12.5 million. I think the Bears will try to trade him. Depends on how this coaching deal shakes out. If Kyle Shanahan ends up the head coach somewhere, I could see him being potentially interested in Cutler.

Rex Ryan will not get another chance as an NFL head coach

I don't think he will. How about at the college level? Wouldn't he be a very good college coach? I mean, could you see him recruit the hell out of guys? I think he's going to end up in TV, though. I'm not sure he's going to be as good as they think he's going to be, but I think he's going to end up in TV.

Jeff Fisher is finished as an NFL head coach but could bamboozle another owner into an interview

Guy's very connected at the league level. He's got good friends in the league office. He's a made man. He knows how to work the media. I think at some point he'll find a way where he at least gets an interview. And if he gets an interview with one of these guys... he could bamboozle someone into hiring him.

Ben Roethlisberger doesn't know what emotions are and interprets all feelings as physical pain

Ben, he thinks that any emotion is pain. He doesn't know what emotions are, but he knows that when he feels something, he's like, that is pain, and I feel it in my deep soul... When Ben learned something new, he's like, ow, my head, it's pain. It's headache. I hurt my brain learning, but I will play through it.

San Diego didn't deserve to have a football team because the weather is too nice there

Fuck you, San Diego. You're a great city, and you didn't deserve to have a football team because it's so nice outside during the fall and the winter time. You know what? You can find a million other things to do.

The Chargers moving to LA is like a friend crashing on your couch for a couple years

The chargers didn't even tell the rams they just told twitter... 'whoops hey guys in the rams, we're gonna crash on your couch for a couple years is that okay? ... maybe we'd go halvesies on your apartment ... let us use your stadium. I'll buy you an In-N-Out burger on Friday night.'

Hiring Sean McVay is the NFL equivalent of a 45-year-old divorcé finding an 18-year-old with fake boobs

It's basically if you're married and you're like 45 years old and you get divorced, the next thing you do is you find an 18-year-old with like fake boobs, no job, that sort of thing... you'd go for the opposite [of Jeff Fisher].

A combined roster of the Rams and Chargers would still not be able to win the AFC South

With a combined roster of the best players from the Rams and the Chargers, could Los Angeles win the AFC South? No.

I'm taking the Falcons over the Seahawks because this is Matt Ryan's MVP year

I'm taking the Falcons. I'm laying the points. This is Matt Ryan's year. High-flying offense. Matt Ryan, MVP guy. His year.

Bill Belichick keeps blackmail files and secret surveillance videos on all his former coaches

I bet you Bill Belichick keeps files, and he not only does that, but he installs videotapes in their homes, he pulls a big Putin move, and he observes them, and he has dirt on all his coaches. Any coach that leaves him, he's got blackmail.

Andy Reid is the greatest coach of all time as long as he has a bye week to rest

Andy Reid off a bye is the greatest coach of all time. It's a classic fat guy behavior. You just need to rest a little. Just give me a minute to catch my breath, a week to catch my breath. And I'll mentally be ready.