Tito Ortiz And Lenny Dykstra

San Diego didn't deserve to have a football team because the weather is too nice there

Fuck you, San Diego. You're a great city, and you didn't deserve to have a football team because it's so nice outside during the fall and the winter time. You know what? You can find a million other things to do.

The Chargers moving to LA is like a friend crashing on your couch for a couple years

The chargers didn't even tell the rams they just told twitter... 'whoops hey guys in the rams, we're gonna crash on your couch for a couple years is that okay? ... maybe we'd go halvesies on your apartment ... let us use your stadium. I'll buy you an In-N-Out burger on Friday night.'

Hiring Sean McVay is the NFL equivalent of a 45-year-old divorcé finding an 18-year-old with fake boobs

It's basically if you're married and you're like 45 years old and you get divorced, the next thing you do is you find an 18-year-old with like fake boobs, no job, that sort of thing... you'd go for the opposite [of Jeff Fisher].

A combined roster of the Rams and Chargers would still not be able to win the AFC South

With a combined roster of the best players from the Rams and the Chargers, could Los Angeles win the AFC South? No.

I'm taking the Falcons over the Seahawks because this is Matt Ryan's MVP year

I'm taking the Falcons. I'm laying the points. This is Matt Ryan's year. High-flying offense. Matt Ryan, MVP guy. His year.

Bill Belichick keeps blackmail files and secret surveillance videos on all his former coaches

I bet you Bill Belichick keeps files, and he not only does that, but he installs videotapes in their homes, he pulls a big Putin move, and he observes them, and he has dirt on all his coaches. Any coach that leaves him, he's got blackmail.

Andy Reid is the greatest coach of all time as long as he has a bye week to rest

Andy Reid off a bye is the greatest coach of all time. It's a classic fat guy behavior. You just need to rest a little. Just give me a minute to catch my breath, a week to catch my breath. And I'll mentally be ready.

I'm taking the Packers over the Cowboys because Aaron Rodgers is going to be motivated by how much Dak Prescott loves his family

I'm taking the Packers... But if you read the USA Today article about Dak Prescott... it was him talking about his family. ... He loves his family. ... That is bulletin board material for Aaron Rodgers, right? Oh, Mr. Big Shot with the family. Oh, you talk to the family? ... That's going to piss Aaron Rodgers right off.

I would not be buying any stocks right now and would put money into real estate instead

I wouldn't be buying any stock right now. [Put money in] Real estate. Hookers? ... That's a dead end road, dude. I'm over a million in those places. There's no return on anything.

Conor McGregor has zero chance of beating Floyd Mayweather in a boxing match

Floyd wants an easy $100 million check. ... Conor McGregor versus Floyd Mayweather, I think it's going to happen. ... [Conor has] 1,000% no chance at all. Floyd wouldn't last 30 seconds [in MMA]... Floyd will last a minute because he'd run for 30 seconds.

Jim Irsay forgets he owns the Colts and is just doing Twitter giveaways all day

I don't think he is [going to fire anyone]. I think he just forgot he owned the Colts. He's just on Twitter all day. He's just been doing Twitter giveaways every day. He's like, 'hey, Jim, you still own this team? You get to make the decisions.'

The Capitals are regular season heroes who always look awesome in January

And I know not only is the Capitals year, but the Capitals in January, this is when they get hot. This is when they beat teams. You can count on the Capitals in the regular season to look awesome. Caps year. Ovi.