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Loss
Jan 13, 2017
#23795
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Texans defense is actually better without J.J. Watt

But the one silver lining for all you Texans fans out there, we've had rumblings. Texans defense might be better without J.J. Watt. Oh, it definitely is. He's a system D-end.

While the 2016 Texans defense remained statistically strong without Watt, claiming a Hall of Famer is a 'system' player is factually absurd and meant to be a hot take.

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Win
Jan 13, 2017
#10112
Big CatBig Cat

The Chargers moving to LA is like a friend crashing on your couch for a couple years

The chargers didn't even tell the rams they just told twitter... 'whoops hey guys in the rams, we're gonna crash on your couch for a couple years is that okay? ... maybe we'd go halvesies on your apartment ... let us use your stadium. I'll buy you an In-N-Out burger on Friday night.'

The Chargers did indeed share a stadium with the Rams (and briefly played in a soccer stadium) upon moving to LA.
Win
Jan 13, 2017
#10114
Big CatBig Cat

Hiring Sean McVay is the NFL equivalent of a 45-year-old divorcé finding an 18-year-old with fake boobs

It's basically if you're married and you're like 45 years old and you get divorced, the next thing you do is you find an 18-year-old with like fake boobs, no job, that sort of thing... you'd go for the opposite [of Jeff Fisher].

Sean McVay was indeed the youngest hire in history, serving as a total philosophical opposite to Jeff Fisher.
Loss
Jan 13, 2017
#10116
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A combined roster of the Rams and Chargers would still not be able to win the AFC South

With a combined roster of the best players from the Rams and the Chargers, could Los Angeles win the AFC South? No.

The 2016 Rams (4-12) and Chargers (5-11) were bad, but a combined team with Rivers, Gurley, and Aaron Donald likely would have won the weak 2016 AFC South (won by 9-7 Texans).

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Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31796
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31800
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31802
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.