Takes

The Cristiano Ronaldo statue should be taken down because he looks like an 'emaciated seagull'

The Cristiano Ronaldo's statue... where he looks like... an emaciated seagull. Let's take down that statue.

Rich Paul is a great disruptor for challenging the NCAA establishment

The NCAA has created a new rule... any agent that wants to talk to a player... has to have a bachelor's degree. Rich Paul does not... As much as it pains me to say this, I love it. Because I love people who make the establishment super nervous. The NCAA has been just milking everyone forever. Having a disruptor in there... is great for everyone because NCAA will have to change if Rich Paul keeps disrupting.

Pepsi was the sixth largest military power in the world in 1989

In 1989, the cash strapped Soviet Union paid Pepsi with 17 submarines, a cruiser, a frigate and a destroyer in exchange for three billion dollars worth of Pepsi, causing Pepsi to become the sixth largest military power, at least Navy wise, in the world.

The NBA will never actually shorten the 82-game season because everyone loses money

You just have to remember, if they shorten the season, all the players are going to get paid less. So there's no way they're ever going to shorten the season, and all the owners are going to make less money. So it's never going to get shortened.

The NBA will soon discuss adding a four-point line and moving the three-point line

I guarantee you in the next few years, Adam Silver's going to talk about moving the three-point line, getting a four-pointer, getting rid of intentional fouls, making technicals different, all these things. If you have a dumb idea and you get enough traction on Twitter, Adam Silver will announce that they are going to discuss it just to appease everyone.

LeBron James is building the 'All-Blame Team' to ensure no one blames him for the Lakers' 2018-19 season

I think LeBron is now just putting together the all blame team. He has put together the greatest blame team of all time. JaVale McGee, Lance Stevenson, Rondo, and Michael Beasley. LeBron James has no intentions of winning next year. He just has intentions of making sure no one blames him.

LeBron James will NOT sign with the New York Knicks or Miami Heat

I am officially reporting lebron james will not be going to the new york knicks... I'm going to report that LeBron James will not be returning to the Miami Heat.

LeBron James will not sign with the Boston Celtics

You can officially take LeBron out of the Celtics running. Now that this Edelman story's come out, the Boston sports media doesn't need a story... so you can officially take LeBron out of the Celtics running.

Ronda Rousey is in the middle of a 'heel turn' in her media appearances

I have to stay woke on it. I think she's turning heel. This is the start.

MLB baseballs have been juiced since the 2015 All-Star break

Nate Silver's website... Went and x-rayed baseballs from the year 2014 and 2015. And baseballs in 2015 had different cores after the All-Star break. And that's when the power surge started to happen. That carried into 2016, 2017.

Every team that has ever made the College Football Playoff has been a Nike school

Every team that's made the college football playoffs is a Nike school. A little bit of a conspiracy. Turns out every school is a Nike school pretty much.