Takes

No elite head coach will want to take the Lakers job

No really good coach is going to want to go there [Lakers], though. Jason Kidd's like the top of the list that you can get. And he's not good.

The Lakers should trade LeBron James

Jeff Van Gundy put it out in the universe like last week that the Lakers should trade LeBron, and it's awesome. They should. They should. He's not like he's paying him to be a basketball player.

LeBron James is suffering from alcohol withdrawal after drinking two bottles of wine

LeBron, this is a symptom of alcohol withdrawal... He had at least two bottles of wine, to himself, split maybe with a couple glasses to his three-year-old kid or whatever... that would put his blood alcohol content at above the legal limit... which means the next day he was going through symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, which is maybe why they lost.

The Golden State Warriors are soft 'candy-ass'

If you can put a live cam on Steph Curry and the rest of the soft candy-ass Golden State Warriors watching the finals that they should be in. That would be great.

The Cavaliers are now Kyrie Irving's team, not LeBron James'

Kyrie hit the big shot. You know why? So now here's the question. This is Kyrie's team.

LeBron James will sign his 2016 contract before another Hillary Clinton email is leaked

LeBron James will sign before another [Hillary Clinton] email gets released. [Obama] is gonna fire a nuke up a horse's butt so that Putin can't leak any more of Clinton's emails.