Stu Feiner and Marlins Man

Kansas is currently the best-looking team in the NCAA tournament

Purdue looked awful in the second half, but also Kansas. I mean, they are the best-looking team right now.

Bill Self and John Calipari having sons on their teams will result in a great Final Four storyline

So I guess we're tracking towards Bill Self's son, John Calipari's son, Final Four... That'll be wonderful. Good storyline.

Oregon is a 'Team of Destiny' because of the Chris Boucher injury

Don't sleep on Oregon because remember, Oregon takes on Michigan's Team of Destiny and Oregon had the big injury to [Chris] Boucher right before this tournament started... when you lose someone, that's a big Team of Destiny situation.

Jeff Fisher will get a position with the NFL league office within six months

If you think that Jeff Fisher doesn't get a position with league office in the next six months, then you don't know your football. He's a lifer. He's going to die inside the NFL's office.

Jake Arrieta's 466-foot home run was only possible because of the dry Arizona air

I don't know if you guys know how air works, but it's hot. A little dry heat. The ball carries... The ball carries in Arizona. So yeah. This is just a stupid little witch hunt that's been going on for a long time now.

Tournament games will be lower-scoring (unders) this weekend as teams tighten up

I think it'll tighten up. I think when teams tighten up, when more is on the line, normally the under is prevalent.

North Carolina is the best team left in the NCAA tournament

I would say if North Carolina plays a perfect game, they're the best team left in the NCAA tournament.

South Carolina will upset Baylor in the Sweet 16

I think South Carolina is real. I think they're not a fluke. I think they're on a mission... I think that I would call for an upset here. I think South Carolina is the bet here.

UCLA will defeat Kentucky in the Sweet 16

I see UCLA somehow, someway, getting over the hump here and eliminating Kentucky. I would like UCLA.

Florida will beat Wisconsin in the Sweet 16

I'm going to lay the number with Florida. I think Florida's going to prevail here.

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I would like to see you win the Cup. I have them [Capitals] winning the Cup this year.

Always eat ass on the first date

If it smells nice, I eat it, lick it, eat the ass, and then worry about it later... Do you eat ass on first date? ... You got to. You got to.

Humility is what this country is all about

Always be appreciative for the people and always remain humble. It started out as a joke, and it's very serious to me. Stay humble because that's what this country is about.

The Golden State Warriors are soft 'candy-ass'

If you can put a live cam on Steph Curry and the rest of the soft candy-ass Golden State Warriors watching the finals that they should be in. That would be great.

Getting a Triple B brand tattoo right now is a great way to go viral

Right now, we all have the opportunity to be the first person to get the Triple B tattoo. Because no one's got that tattoo yet. So if you want to get a couple headlines, you want to see your face on Bleacher Report, now's the time.

Mark Sanchez will be the 'alpha' in the Bears locker room over Mike Glennon

Sanchez is going to be the alpha in that locker room. So that's the situation... You never want to bring in a backup. That's the alpha.