PMT DB
PMT DB
Stu Feiner and Marlins Man on Sweet 16 Picks and World Baseball Classic
Xavier is officially the team of destiny after burning their February calendar and carrying the ashes in a glass urn. It's the kind of psycho behavior we respect here. While Xavier is thriving, PFT is currently on tilt after a gambling night from hell, specifically thanks to a Purdue team that decided to stop playing basketball in the second half against Kansas.
Big Cat and PFT are also keeping a close eye on the "Coach's Son" narrative. With Bill Self and John Calipari both having their offspring on the roster, we are hurtling toward a nepotism-filled Final Four that would make for incredible television.
PFT CommenterBill Self and John Calipari having their sons on their teams will provide a great Final Four storyline
One thing that we haven't talked enough shit about Bill Self is the fact that his son's on the team... So I guess we're tracking towards Bill Self's son, John Calipari's son, Final Four... That'll be wonderful. Good storyline.
Pranking the League Office
In what might be the peak of rogue journalism, the NFL accidentally invited the show to a competition committee conference call. While most journalists were asking about catch rules or player safety, Big Cat and PFT decided to help Roger Goodell solve the extra point problem once and for all.
Big CatThe NFL should replace extra points with a greased-up Andy Reid climbing a goal post
Have you guys discussed the possibility of eliminating extra points and having a control center where greased up Andy Reid climbs a goal post like a Double Dare challenge? Could be fun.
Big Cat used his most professional "real journalist" voice to propose the Andy Reid Double Dare challenge, while PFT took aim at the family-friendly nature of player nameplates.
PFT CommenterThe NFL should ban the 'Senior' suffix on nameplates because it's a brag about having sex
Can you get rid of the senior suffix on the nameplate since it's just kind of a brag that the player had sex at one point? NFL is kind of a family television deal.
Stu Feiner’s Sweet 16 Locks
Stu Feiner joined the show with the energy of a thousand suns, fresh off licking PFT's nipple in a video that will haunt our dreams forever. Stu has been on an epic run and he isn't slowing down for the Sweet 16. He’s leaning heavily on the favorites in the marquee matchups but thinks the games themselves are going to be absolute grinds.
Stu FeinerTournament games will be lower-scoring (unders) this weekend as teams tighten up
I think it'll tighten up. I think when teams tighten up, when more is on the line, normally the under is prevalent.
While Stu likes the talent in the blue-blood matchups, he’s not a believer in every top seed. He thinks John Calipari is a great coach until the clock hits one minute, at which point the "brain farts" take over.
Stu FeinerUCLA will defeat Kentucky because Calipari always has a 'brain fart' at the end of games
Calipari is extremely, extremely tough to beat. He's a great coach up until the last minute of the game, and then he just has a brain fart, and he's fucking horrific... I see Euclid [UCLA] somehow, someway, getting over the hump here and eliminating Kentucky.
He also gave Big Cat some devastating news regarding the Wisconsin-Florida game. Despite Big Cat’s hope that his heart won't be ripped out until Sunday, Stu thinks the Gators are going to handle business in the Garden.
Stu FeinerFlorida will beat Wisconsin in the Sweet 16
I'm going to lay the number with Florida. I think Florida's going to prevail here.
Before letting him go, the conversation took a turn into first-date etiquette and NHL futures. Stu is apparently the only person on earth still confident in the Washington Capitals' ability to win a Stanley Cup.
Stu FeinerThe Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year
I would like to see you win the Cup. I have them [Capitals] winning the Cup this year.
Marlins Man: The International Diplomat
Marlins Man called in to discuss America’s victory in the World Baseball Classic and how he basically single-handedly repaired US-Japanese relations from behind home plate. He brought ten people to the games, eight of whom were total strangers, because that’s just what giants do.
Marlins ManI convinced Japanese baseball fans to love America during the WBC
I think that they [Japanese fans] were very surprised how warm and nice Americans were to them... when they came to the United States for the very first time, they were shocked... and the next night they came here and they were more passionate for USA than many of the USA fans were against Puerto Rico.
When asked about his rival, Foul Ball Guy (Zack Hample), Marlins Man didn't mince words. The hierarchy of baseball superfans is clear, and it starts and ends with the man in the orange jersey.
Marlins ManFoul Ball Guy (Zack Hample) is a peon compared to me
Now he's [Foul Ball Guy] a peon compared to a giant.
LeBron Blames and Sad QBs
LeBron James is back to his mid-season form of subtweeting his teammates through the media. PFT pointed out that the Warriors are looking a little "candy-ass" lately, which might be the only thing that saves LeBron's season. Meanwhile, the Sad QB Carousel is spinning in Chicago. Big Cat is trying to find a spin zone for the Bears signing Mark Sanchez, but PFT sees a clear power struggle brewing in the locker room.
PFT CommenterMark Sanchez will be the 'alpha' in the Bears locker room over Mike Glennon
Sanchez is going to be the alpha in that locker room. So that's the situation... You never want to bring in a backup. That's the alpha.
To wrap things up, Big Cat addressed the "witch hunt" surrounding Jake Arrieta’s massive home run. According to the Chicago native, we shouldn't be looking at PEDs or launch angles, but rather the physics of desert oxygen.
Big CatJake Arrieta's 466-foot home run was only possible because of the dry Arizona air
I don't know if you guys know how air works, but it's hot. A little dry heat. The ball carries... The ball carries in Arizona. So yeah. This is just a stupid little witch hunt that's been going on for a long time now.
If Wisconsin loses to Florida on Friday night, please don't check on Big Cat because he will be under his bed in total silence.
