March Madness, Duke's Scare And Paul Bissonnette

UCF would have beaten Duke if Taco Fall hadn't gotten into foul trouble

If Taco Fall didn't get foul trouble, which I think is impossible for Taco Fall to not get foul trouble because he basically just stands under the hoop and guys just jump into him, UCF wins that game.

The five-foul limit in college basketball is terrible and needs to be changed

I hate the five fouls in college basketball. Suck. They need to fix it.

UNC's Luke Maye has the weirdest voice in the world

Luke Maye might have the weirdest voice in the world. Have you heard him talk? He's like if Jason Aldean was in Bone Thugs. It doesn't work. When I watch him talk and I listen to him, he gives me a stroke.

Rick Pitino will sign with Alabama to be their next head coach

I'm going to get the last laugh when [Rick] Pitino signs with the Crimson Tide. [If he doesn't] then I'm going to delete the tweet.

Rob Gronkowski is the greatest tight end in NFL history

Greatest of all time? Tight end? Not even a question. Greatest tight end of all time. Gronk is the first seven [PFF single season grades]. So basically every single year. He was amazing.

Rob Gronkowski will come back to the NFL halfway through the season when the Patriots call him

I think yes, halfway through the season. Like he just doesn't want to deal with offseason OTAs and all that stuff. And then if he's perfectly healthy halfway through the season and his Patriots lose someone, you don't think they're not going to call him?

The Motley Crue movie 'The Dirt' is ten times better than Bohemian Rhapsody

Motley Crue is also back... They put out a Netflix movie. I know Queen Bohemian Rhapsody won all the awards. This was like a 10 times better of a biopic movie. All sex, drugs, rock and roll.

I am canceling Orange Vanilla Coke and will never drink it because of the excessive advertising

Orange Vanilla Coke I saw seven million times, and I hate it. I will never drink an orange vanilla Coke. I am canceling orange vanilla Coke.

PFT Commenter looks like a greasier version of Post Malone

You look like a greasier version of Post Malone. He looks like he stinks worse than garbage. He looks like a New York City street.

Tom Izzo's coaching intensity is acceptable and challenges players to battle through adversity

I think that there's a line and [Tom Izzo] didn't cross it... he challenged you. There were some days where I'd go home and I'd have higher anxiety... but it turned me into the person I am today. You have to go through things like that... if you want to be coddled it's going to be a very tough life ahead.

Calgary and Winnipeg are the only Canadian teams with a realistic shot at winning the Stanley Cup

Calgary and Winnipeg are the only teams who have a shot. I don't think that Toronto's going to beat Boston first round.

Fighting is dead in hockey because social justice warriors have taken over and influenced the league

Fighting is dead in hockey... all these social justice warriors have kind of taken over and directed the league in a certain way. I feel bad for league officials... because it's just a constant barrage of people bitching about everything.

I would rather take punches to the face than block shots for a career

I would rather take punches to the face than have to block shots as a career... I'd like to take punches to the face rather than block shots. I was one of those guys where I just didn't like doing it, and sometimes I would flamingo.

I would perform a sexual act with a cat for two million dollars if no one found out

If no one was to find out, a couple sheets... a couple sheets, $2 million, and Hank would fuck a cat? Raw dog, too.

Antonio Brown secretly hates being an Oakland Raider and will demand a trade within six weeks

Antonio Brown... I don't think he wants to be an Oakland Raider. And he's trying to convince himself that this is the good move... I think Antonio Brown is secretly like, this is kind of a bad deal... I wouldn't be shocked if he demands a trade within the first six weeks.

LeBron James' physical therapist's deleted Instagram post was a calculated excuse for his poor season

[LeBron's] physical therapist put out an Instagram that immediately deleted it... Classic LeBron. To just put it out there, let everyone know that he actually was dealing with a way worse injury, but then have it deleted... this was the ultimate excuse, just a very well-planned excuse.

No elite head coach will want to take the Lakers job

No really good coach is going to want to go there [Lakers], though. Jason Kidd's like the top of the list that you can get. And he's not good.

Mike Francesa invented the concept of a podcast co-host

He invented co-hosts. Mike Francesa, in addition to Daily Fantasy, has invented co-hosts. My idea.