PMT DB
PMT DB
Paul Bissonnette on Tom Izzo, Hockey Lingo, and Gronk's Retirement
The first weekend of March Madness is officially in the books, and while the scoreboard says it was the chalkiest tournament in history, our collective heart rates say otherwise. Big Cat and PFT are mourning the loss of the greatest four-day stretch in sports, dealing with the inevitable post-tourney depression that hits every Monday morning.
Duke's Scare and the Taco Fall Experience
Duke survived a massive scare from UCF, but the real story was the 7'6" mountain of a man, Taco Fall. Hank was inches away from being forced to adopt a cat, a bet that had him visibly sweating as UCF missed a point-blank layup at the buzzer. Big Cat isn't letting the NCAA off the hook for how that game ended, specifically regarding the foul situation that sidelined the biggest player on the court.
Big CatUCF would have beaten Duke if Taco Fall hadn't gotten into foul trouble
If Taco Fall didn't get foul trouble, which I think is impossible for Taco Fall to not get foul trouble because he basically just stands under the hoop and guys just jump into him, UCF wins that game.
Big CatThe five-foul limit in college basketball is terrible and needs to be changed
I hate the five fouls in college basketball. Suck. They need to fix it.
Outside of the Duke drama, the tournament has been a bit of a blowout factory. We saw Rick Barnes looking like the "this is fine" dog while Tennessee nearly choked, and PFT discovered that UNC's Luke Maye might have a secret second career in mid-90s hip-hop.
PFT CommenterUNC's Luke Maye has the weirdest voice in the world
Luke Maye might have the weirdest voice in the world. Have you heard him talk? He's like if Jason Aldean was in Bone Thugs. It doesn't work. When I watch him talk and I listen to him, he gives me a stroke.
The End of the Gronk Era
Rob Gronkowski finally called it a career, and while the news wasn't a shock, it still hit hard. Big Cat and PFT debated his legacy, though the stats pretty much speak for themselves. Gronk didn't just play tight end; he broke the position.
Big CatRob Gronkowski is the greatest tight end in NFL history
Greatest of all time? Tight end? Not even a question. Greatest tight end of all time. Gronk is the first seven [PFF single season grades]. So basically every single year. He was amazing.
Of course, because it's the Patriots, nobody actually believes he’s gone for good. Between the 69 jokes in his retirement post and the fact that he's still in his prime, Hank is already planning for a mid-season return when the weather gets cold in Foxborough.
HankRob Gronkowski will come back to the NFL halfway through the season when the Patriots call him
I think yes, halfway through the season. Like he just doesn't want to deal with offseason OTAs and all that stuff. And then if he's perfectly healthy halfway through the season and his Patriots lose someone, you don't think they're not going to call him?
BizNasty Joins the Show
Our good friend Paul Bissonnette stopped by to help us transition from the hardwood to the ice. Biz offered some much-needed perspective on the Tom Izzo "controversy," arguing that the media overreaction to a coach actually coaching is reaching peak levels.
Paul BissonnetteTom Izzo's coaching intensity is acceptable and challenges players to battle through adversity
I think that there's a line and [Tom Izzo] didn't cross it... he challenged you. There were some days where I'd go home and I'd have higher anxiety... but it turned me into the person I am today. You have to go through things like that... if you want to be coddled it's going to be a very tough life ahead.
We also got into the nitty-gritty of playoff hockey, including why the Coyotes are still alive and why Biz thinks the Canadian drought might continue for everyone except a select few teams north of the border.
Paul BissonnetteCalgary and Winnipeg are the only Canadian teams with a realistic shot at winning the Stanley Cup
Calgary and Winnipeg are the only teams who have a shot. I don't think that Toronto's going to beat Boston first round.
Beyond the X's and O's, Biz brought the heat with some classic hockey lingo and a truly unhinged story about Judge Judy being a locker room villain. We also learned about "flamingoing"—the act of a player lifting a leg to avoid a puck—which Biz admitted to doing more than a few times during his career.
Paul BissonnetteI would rather take punches to the face than block shots for a career
I would rather take punches to the face than have to block shots as a career... I'd like to take punches to the face rather than block shots. I was one of those guys where I just didn't like doing it, and sometimes I would flamingo.
Stay Woke and LeBron Blames
In the spirit of the NFL offseason, Big Cat has a theory that Antonio Brown’s Instagram activity is a little too performative. It’s the classic social media move of posting how happy you are when you're actually miserable in your new situation.
Big CatAntonio Brown is trying to convince himself he's happy in Oakland, but he will demand a trade within six weeks
I don't think he wants to be an Oakland Raider. And he's trying to convince himself that this is the good move... I wouldn't be shocked if he demands a trade within the first six weeks. That'd be amazing.
Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, the LeBron James PR machine is working overtime. After a disappointing season, LeBron’s camp managed to leak—and then delete—a perfectly timed excuse about the severity of his groin injury. PFT remains skeptical that any elite coach would actually want to step into that circus next year.
PFT CommenterNo elite head coach will want to take the Lakers job
No really good coach is going to want to go there [Lakers], though. Jason Kidd's like the top of the list that you can get. And he's not good.
To wrap things up, we had a special Monday Reading of Mike Francesa’s Twitter account, which is currently the best unintentional comedy on the internet. Between falling asleep mid-tweet and claiming credit for every concept in broadcasting history, Mike is truly in a league of his own.
PFT CommenterMike Francesa invented the concept of a podcast co-host
He invented co-hosts. Mike Francesa, in addition to Daily Fantasy, has invented co-hosts. My idea.
If the Sweet 16 is half as stressful as the UCF game, Hank might actually be living in a pet store by Friday.
