Takes

AJ Brown feels 'used' by the Eagles because they only target him when they desperately need to win.

I think he looks at his relationship with a football team and every time they go to him and they try to exploit a weakness in the defense... he feels like he's being used, like they wouldn't pass him the ball if they didn't need him to win. So fuck them. It's like, you're just using me so that you can win.

Boneless wings are just big nuggets trying to be cool

Wings are not boneless. Wings have bones in them, but, this is it's big nugget that's trying to make themselves seem like they're as cool as chicken wings. You'll never be as cool as chicken wings. It's the mocktail of chicken.

Dak Prescott is the ultimate leader and everyone in the Cowboys building plays for him

He is the best. Like he is the absolute best. He would, you would love him if you, if he got to sit down here and just, just shoot the shit... guys in that building play for that guy. I'm telling you.

Aaron Donald's natural leverage and height make him more difficult to block than taller defensive linemen.

Not only is he freakishly strong, he's got... I called him maybe six foot. So he's got a lot of natural leverage. And then he's got every moves, he's got speed, he's explosive... he can make me look dumb at any moment.

September football is sloppy because modern training camps lack the live reps necessary for offensive lines to gel.

The guys aren't getting reps, live reps, like meaningful reps... offensive lineman, you gotta feel yourself getting in these fits with the guys you're playing next to. You gotta feel a pass rush. And I just think you don't get the consistency of that through training camp anymore... the teams that do hit it hard in training camp, you usually can tell at the beginning of the season.

The Eagles are clearly false starting on the Tush Push

It's clear they've been false starting [on the Tush Push]. I mean they call, what was the game last week? The other team, they, they called it twice on them for false start.

Jahmyr Gibbs is the best running back in football

I have a take... Why are we never saying, and I'll fix this going forward, Jahmyr Gibbs is the best running back in football? Because I think he is. I think it is partially because his first two years he split a lot of carries with David Montgomery. Now it feels like they're like, alright, he is—that's one of the fastest I've ever seen someone on a football field.

Jackson Smith-Njigba is the best wide receiver in the NFL this year

That was my other hot take. Jahmyr Gibbs the best running back; Jackson Smith-Njigba is the best wide receiver this year. He's having the best year... I know that the answer would be Jamar Chase and Justin Jefferson... but he's first in yards [and] he's tied for fifth in receptions.

I am officially sick of the Texans, Jaguars, Chargers, and Falcons

I have four teams that I put in the Texans category of, in theory I like them, but in actuality I'm sick of their shit. And it's the Texans, it's the Jaguars, it's the Chargers and the Falcons. Those four teams in theory, theoretically I like 'em, but then they play and I just get so frustrated watching them play.

October football results don't matter; wake me up when it's playoff time

Actually, you know what? I might just flip my mentality. I might, I might put on my, my Hank hat for a second. We're talking about October football game. Like, it wake me up when it's playoff time. This team doesn't, we don't, we don't even take things seriously until the playoffs.

Dua Lipa and Callum Turner's 'same book on a plane' meet-cute story is fake

I just can't, I couldn't help myself but to bring up this story 'cause it's just so fake... He revealed that they were reading the same book the night they first met. We sat next to each other on a plane... it's too much. Fakest plane book story love story of all time.

Brian Kelly deserves at least another year at LSU

Whenever I look at the fan bases, they get really, really mad... I think [Brian] Kelly deserves another year, but it really sometimes those spots are just so intense that you could admit, like the coach would go, I'm not gonna be miserable if I don't have to do this again.

Ohio State's quarterback room is even better than last year's because of Julian Sayin

[Big Cat: Are you ready to say this team is better than last year's team?] Yeah. I think [Julian] Sayin's even better. He just, you know, they don't even need him.

Indiana winning at Oregon is the best college football win of the season

The Indiana win at Oregon I think is the single best win of the entire college football season. And I also think Oregon's getting dropped down too far in the polls after the fact, 'cause I think Indiana really is that good this year.

Louisville is the most dangerous team in America on Friday nights

Louisville on Friday nights is they're the most dangerous team in America and they have been for years. If you you don't know about Louisville Friday nights... They play different there. So I'm not riding Miami off just yet or anybody that loses to Louisville on a Friday night this year.

I like Tennessee more than Georgia as a playoff threat

I probably like Tennessee more than I like Georgia, to be honest with you. [Big Cat: Their defense though, man.] Yeah, but that Georgia defense isn't—this Georgia team is not even close to those [previous] teams. The defense isn't as good.

Alabama's Germie Bernard is one of the ten best football players in the country

Germie Bernard is one of my favorite football players in all college football... Every time that kid gets going I'm like, I don't think there's that many players that are playing on Saturdays that are better than he is. I don't think there's 10 better football players in college than him.

Trevor Lawrence is the most sackable quarterback in the NFL because his spin moves never work.

I think [Trevor Lawrence] is the most sackable quarterback we have... Trevor Lawrence I think is over for a hundred on spin moves that don't work. He like, he'll spin or try to sidestep and a guy will get one arm on him and he'll be sacked.

Trayvon Walker is the most forgettable number one overall pick in NFL history.

Trayvon Walker. I think he's got to be the most forgettable number one overall pick ever. And it was two years ago. ... He isn't terrible. ... but he, but he's not like, he doesn't do those flashes of anything spectacular.

I enjoy rooting against Carson Wentz more than I enjoy rooting against the Philadelphia Eagles.

I think I enjoy rooting against Carson Wentz more than I enjoy rooting against the Eagles. Because watching this game, I found my allegiance going against Carson Wentz. ... I was hoping for worse and worse stuff to happen to Carson Wentz every time he dropped back to pass.

Jalen Hurts' motivational quotes sound like AI-generated fortune cookies and are early signs of him becoming like Russell Wilson.

Why does Jalen Hurts talk like he's a fortune cookie? ... He's an AI quote machine. ... I'm just wondering why he keeps handing me back a fortune cookie. ... these type of quotes are like some early, early signs of Russell Wilson. That's when you start seeing... uhoh is this Do we got a Russell Wilson in the locker room?

The Saints are the only truly bad team in the NFC.

I think the Saints are, I think we actually can say after today the Saints are the only really bad team in the NFC.

The Patriots are unequivocally better than the Buccaneers and the Eagles right now.

Are the Patriots better than the Bucks and the Eagles right now? Yes. ... laugh, feel free to laugh. Unequivocally you're saying they're better. ... I feel great about this team. We're on the right path.

Justin Herbert is a 'big stupid pick guy' who throws interceptions in critical moments.

I just think that Justin Herbert is the biggest, like what if, what if, what if quarterback of all time. ... this guy like just shows time and time again that he, he, he's just like a big stupid pick guy. He throws out stupid picks.

I would take Jaden Daniels over Drake May a million times out of a million.

The thought that I have is that a million times outta a million. I would take Jaden over Drake may a million times. ... I still completely believe in Jaden long term.

The Broncos are the 'messiest bitches' in the NFL, but they are incredibly fun to watch.

The Broncos are the messiest bitches we got in the NFL. But they're fun. They're so fun. ... They'll fuck you crazy and then they'll, they'll freak out about a text message and, and get in a fight with you at a bar for the entire night and ruin your entire night. ... That's the Broncos.

Shohei Ohtani's three-home run and 10-strikeout game is the greatest individual performance in sports history.

I feel very comfortable saying that Shohei Ohtani hitting three home runs, pitching six shutout innings with 10 KS in an elimination game was the greatest single game performance I've ever seen a baseball player play. ... might have been the best game in the history of sports.

Baseball fans should blame their own cheap owners for not spending instead of being mad at the Dodgers.

We should be complaining about the Pirate's owner and the Red's owner and the, and the Rockies owner and all these owners that don't wanna spend a dollar. That's who should get the blame. Not the Dodgers. ... I'm done complaining about it. Blame your owner or not the Dodgers.

I fully condone and respect the thieves who successfully pulled off a heist at the Louvre.

I condone robbing the Louvre. That's, that's, I got nothing but respect. ... It's good to know that like there's still thieves that are planning heists, especially at the Louvre and like making it happen.

Spencer Rattler has a future as a starting quarterback in the NFL

Do you think that Spencer Rattler has a future as a starting quarterback in this league? I think he might. And I feel strong about maybe.

If the Eagles lose to the Vikings, their season is dead

This is the do or die game. If you lose third week in a row, to Carson Wentz... if they lose this game, I think it comes crumbling down.

Baker Mayfield would be the NFL MVP if the season ended today

We were on that Fox show and they asked me who I thought the MVP would be and I said, if we did it today, it'd be Baker. And I just compare him to Brett Favre when we were in Green Bay. He brought life to the huddle.

The Steelers have arguably the best fourth-quarter pass rush in the NFL

The Pittsburgh Steelers are another team that I'm really excited about. I think they have arguably the best fourth quarter pass rush. They got three ends that can kick your ass.

The Dodgers are essentially a collection of All-Stars that is unfair to the rest of the league

Dudes on dudes. That's what the Dodgers are. They just have dudes everywhere. They just hit home runs. ... It's crazy how good the Dodgers are. It's not fair. ... Like I want that, I want an owner who's just like, oh yeah, we, we already have a, a ton of dudes that are awesome. Let's just pay another dude a hundred, $200 million just to get even more awesome.

The Bears are unequivocally no longer a bad football team

I would say the Bears are not a good football team, but they're unequivocally no longer a bad football team. And that is a very important distinction to make in the progression of a team.

The NFL is rigged to favor the Chiefs

The NFL is rigged. There was a study, UTEP did a study. It's statistically proven that the Chiefs... have gotten way more favorable calls in that timeframe. And they did the research that that did not happen with other dynasties in the past.

Sherrone Moore's 'blue-collar' jacket is a cheap, ineffective imitation of Jim Harbaugh

[Sherrone Moore] has his blue collar jacket on and he basically was like, Hey, I'm back to work. ... It worked for Jim Harbaugh because Jim Harbaugh had won... This feels like a cheap knockoff and it's not gonna work.

Baseball teams should celebrate every playoff series win, regardless of prestige

I'm a big believer in celebrate everything. I know people get upset about it, but it's like the baseball season is so long you have to celebrate the ride. You don't know where your next celebration's gonna be. ... I'm a celebrate everything guy.

The Dodgers vs. Brewers series is a proxy war for the future of baseball's economic system

This is not just the Brewers versus the Dodgers. This is the future of baseball as we know it in a proxy war because whoever ends up winning this series, the other side will use this when the MLB goes to a lockout and fights for a salary cap.

The Philadelphia Phillies' current core is at a dead end and needs a major shakeup

The Phillies like, could be in a very transitional phase at this point because this current incarnation of them guys just has failed. Like they have not been able to win a championship. They've gone backward or, or been stagnant every year. And at some point you just gotta change the mix in the room.

I think Aaron Glenn has basically quit on his job as the Jets coach

I think [Aaron Glenn]'s quit. I think he's quit. I think he realizes how bad this team is and he's just trying to get games over with, get the first overall pick and then try to get guys in.

There is a significantly better chance for Nick Folk to make a 62-yard field goal than for Justin Fields to pick up a fourth-and-eight

There was a moment where it was a fourth and eight with very little time left. And I said to myself, Nick Folk, his career long in the NFL is 58 yards. There is a significantly better chance for Nick Folk to make a 62 yard field goal than for Justin Fields to pick up a fourth and eight. Yes. That's just without a doubt. I would play the field goal every single time.

Drake Maye might have officially taken the torch as the next great Patriots quarterback

What if Hank was right about the passing of the torch game? What if Drake Maye has just... I, there is a part of me that's like Drake Maye, might be legit. Legit.

I am starting to like Spencer Rattler as a quarterback

I kind of, I kind of am starting to like Spencer Rattler... Spencer Rattler didn't play bad and he had a couple, like, there was a, there was one pass that he made that was a perfect pass that just was dropped in the end zone. Like I Spencer Rattler might be Okay.

Losing close games consistently is a sign of bad coaching

If you keep losing close games, that's usually a sign of bad coaching. Yeah. And if you look at the teams that had the worst, like the, the most like one score losses last year, you're looking at guys like Matt Eberflus... That's usually a sign that that guy is probably not gonna stick around very long.

The 2025 Chiefs are a better team overall than the Super Bowl winning team from last year

It's a better team overall [the Chiefs]... now it's just gonna go back to Patrick Mahomes thinking that this game is very simple and everybody else being very frustrated. They're putting Mahomes under center now and they're handing the ball off and it's working really well.

The Mariners win over the Tigers in the ALDS was fueled by the 'Vibe Shift' of Humpy the Salmon winning his first race

This win goes as much to their stadium management crew as it does to the team on the field. Because T-Mobile Park was a dead zone. And then they did a second Salmon race... and Humpy the Salmon, a mascot who'd never won... his record was 0 and 162... Humpy won. Vibe shift entirely. Next inning, Mariners win.

Winning against the Commanders would be the threshold for starting to take the Bears' playoff chances seriously

If [the Bears] can find a way to win this game [against the Commanders], then I'll maybe start, maybe thinking to start thinking about playoffs. Still two steps away. And if they lose, it's gonna be like, let's see what happens.

Aaron Boone doesn't actually do anything for the Yankees besides chew on things

I don't really know what Aaron Boone does with that team besides just like chews. He just chews stuff. Yeah, he's like a dog. If you leave him alone, he, and there's something in front of him, he will pick it up in his mouth and he will chew it. But outside of that, I don't know what his day-to-day is.

The New York Giants are finally fun to watch

The New York Giants are fun as fuck. It's weird, isn't it? You expect them to occasionally pop up and be a good football team, but in a very boring way. And this is a team that like, I wanna watch more Giants football games.