Takes

The Dolphins' failure to kick the field goal for 70 points against the Broncos cursed their franchise

I'm beginning to think that when he did not go for a field goal at the end of that game... he decided he was not going to set the all time NFL scoring record. It's a curse that cursed the Dolphins from that point on.

Travis Hunter the wide receiver would beat Travis Hunter the cornerback

Travis Hunter, the wide receiver we think could beat Travis Hunter the cornerback. Yes. Get toasted.

Jonathan Taylor is a top-three human being in the entire world

He is a workhorse, and what he's done in the NFL too is awesome to see. And man, his ability speaks volumes and he's even a way better person than he is a player too. Like, no, he is the most genuine human being. [He's a top three human] in my opinion. [In the entire world].

Statcast measurements for home run distances are a lie

Stack Cast said [the Aaron Judge home run went] like 473. I don't believe that for a second. ... When they say like 373 feet on their like internal measurement system, there's no way that was only 373 feet, right? No, I don't believe any of that.

Cheating in baseball is legal as long as it doesn't involve electronics or batteries

Cheating in baseball is legal except if you use electronics. That's my, that's my rule. Like use electronics then at that, if a battery is involved, then that's against the rules.

Rob Thomson is coaching the Phillies like a loser

Rob Thompson is coaching like a loser. ... His reasoning for Aaron Nola is that he's a, he's a big time pitcher. Ranger Suarez is a big time pitcher. Pitch your best guys. ... it's the momentum that, that just really pissed me off. Is that it was the first time the stadium was feeling something and just ride it. Just ride it.

The Chiefs have regressed into a normal good football team that loses like everyone else

It's that the Chiefs, they're starting to lose games in ways that are familiar to every other team out there to every other fan base. It's they, they look like all of us now. ... I'm starting to think that it, it might kind of be their, their regression back to being just like kind of a normal good football team.

The NFL should have a commissioner for every division to run PR and attack ads

Wouldn't it be cool if there was a commissioner for each division? I mean, just had like commercials and stuff and you're like, yeah, hey, here at the AFC South, we actually played winning football now. ... I just wanna watch a football game and see just an attack ad on a certain division. Like, 'The NFC South sucks... they have the Bucs, but what else?'

Jalen Hurts catching his own Hail Mary rebound would be the coolest play in sports history

The wide angle of the Hail Mary came out and Jalen Hurts tried to get his own rebound. ... I'll say this right now, if that ever happens, that will be the coolest play in all of sports. ... That was sports history. If there, the fact that he got as far down as he did was... if there was a, if there was two bobs, he would've been there.

Arch Manning looks like an unpolished freshman and is not ready for the SEC

I thought like the last few years sitting on the bench developing behind Quinn Ewers is like we were gonna see a much more polished player than what we have seen to this point. He just looks like a freshman even though he is now in his third year on campus. So I think that is very alarming.

Billy Napier is the best coach ever when his back is against the wall and he's almost fired

Billy Napier with his back against the wall might be the best coach ever. He literally just, just get him, get him almost fired and he'll start performing.

The adults and coaches set the tone for a program, not the players

People always saying, well, players nowadays bullshit. Right? It the adults, the adults set the tone right and the players will follow. And we have the right kind of players with the right kind of mentality is full throttle every day, man. And you and you're honest, don't, we don't sugarcoat anything.

Awarding the Heisman Trophy before postseason games are played is bizarre

The only thing I would wish for the Heisman Trophy that it was awarded when all the games were done. That whole award before these postseason games are played is absolutely bizarre to me. Like, I don't, I can't comprehend it. Never will.

The Patriots have officially taken back control of the AFC East

Touchdown would be great. And the torch will be passed. It's, it's our, it's our division once again. Officially a torch passing.

The Denver Broncos are for real after their win against the Eagles

It felt like one of those, Hey, this is the win the Broncos needed... the Broncos are for real.

The Eagles' loss was due to an absolute gauntlet of a schedule catching up with them

I will say that the Eagles also have played just an absolute gauntlet of a schedule so far... at some point that caught up with them a little bit. And the Broncos are good enough to take advantage of that.

Dak Prescott is definitively in the MVP conversation

Dak is playing very good football... I would disagree with [Booger McFarland] because there's a couple guys who it's definitely close with, but Dak is definitely in the MVP conversation right now.

The 2025 Jets are the worst team in football

They're on the clock. It's over. This is the worst team in football. And probably the worst team I've ever watched.

Justin Fields is a loser

Justin Fields is perfect for this team... he's a perfect quarterback to lose games and that's it. That's all he is. He is a loser.

Daniel Jones is a Pro Bowl quarterback

Daniel Jones, he's playing fast and he's like, he's super confident... Let's just talk about Daniel Jones is a Pro Bowl quarterback. He's good at football.

Patrick Ricard is the most important player in the Ravens' backfield

I think that the conversation is Patrick Ricard. He's a fullback. Patrick Ricard is the most important running back on the Ravens slash tight end slash fullback. Without him out there blocking for Derrick [Henry], it's a lot harder.

I am officially sick of the Cardinals' shit

I'm sick of the Cardinals' shit. I'm just am. It's not good. I just, I I am, I don't... I'm just, I'm done with the Cardinal shit. It's been a long time since I've like truly enjoyed watching the Cardinals play football.

Jake Browning is exciting because you never know how bad his interceptions can get

I think he might now have flipped over into the side of quarterback where he's excited to watch because you don't, you just don't know how much worse the interceptions can get.

The Buccaneers are the most fun team in the NFL

The Bucks are the funnest team in the NFL bar none. So much fun to watch. Not even close.

The Cardinals' loss was the most fun 'loss of the week'

Cardinals [is loss of the week]... that was the most fun loss. No, that was my favorite loss. That's your definition of the loss of the week. This is mine.

Taylor Swift's new album is a flop

My other's back the week is Taylor Swift... heard it was a flop. From what I've seen, I, I would give it not her best... some are saying it's, it's chat GPT. It's it's, yeah.

The Yankees should not celebrate a wild card win

I don't think that the Yankees should celebrate winning a wild card round... I think every other team can do it. You're the New York Yankees. You're supposed to be the Yankees. The standard shouldn't just be winning a wild card series.

The 49ers would have a Super Bowl by now if they had drafted Mac Jones instead of Trey Lance

If the 49ers draft Mac Jones like was rumored instead of Trey Lance, so many things are different. The 49ers probably win a Super Bowl. Mac Jones is one of the highest paid QBs in football. And we never find out just how good Brock Purdy is.

Mac Jones should stay sidelined with his injury to maximize his free-agent value as a backup

[Mac Jones] should really lean in to the leg injury. Yes. And be like, 'I'm too sore. Please sit me out.' I'm due to make millions of dollars on the open market. At the very least as a, as a great backup.

The Tigers' series win erased the memory of the Guardians' historic 15.5-game comeback

Did the Tigers just erase that entire 15 and a half game comeback? I unfortunately think yes... when you lose then to the Tigers in three games, that's brutal. You caught them to then get the right to lose to them at home. You kept them alive to allow them to embarrass you.

The Cubs should always play afternoon playoff games and the Phillies should always play night games

I have a take about the Cubs games. I think the playoffs, whenever possible the Cubs should play afternoon games. And the Phillies should play night games... Because Wrigley Field looks awesome. Especially like in the sunset... the stadium is perfect for Twilight. And then Philly, the SEC environment... it works at the bank.

Shedeur Sanders is 'behind the eight ball' if Rex Ryan is getting in his head

If Rex Ryan is in your head, Rex Ryan talks on TV... He has nothing to do with the NFL right now... If Rex Ryan is taking up any space at all in your head to the point where you're gonna react to that in a press conference, I feel like you're already a little bit behind the eight ball.

Brian Flores was being 'very mean' by comparing Dylan Gabriel's thought process to Tua Tagovailoa's

That is so mean of Brian Flores to say, 'I see Tua'—the guy I fucking almost ended his career by just hating him and bullying him as I was his head coach—in Dylan Gabriel. Brian Flores hated Tua to the point where Tua said that he had to go to therapy for two years to fix his confidence.

The 2024 Eagles are the worst 20-1 team in NFL history

Is this Eagle's team the worst 20 and one team in their last 21 games of all time... every, literally every negative thing that I've said about the Eagles this year has come from a place of extreme jealousy and also trying to stir Max up... I think the Eagles, yeah, they're the worst.

Jalen Hurts is the new Joe Flacco

I think he's, he's become the new Joe Flacco where he won a Super Bowl, but everyone's trying to fight. Is Jalen Hurts Elite sound off in the comments?

The Cardinals have the worst body language in the NFL

They're the worst body language team in the NFL by far. And they're, I think, leading the way. Kyler Murray, bad body language. Marvin Harrison, Jr. bad body language. Especially on Thursday night... they go to the sidelines and they don't talk to each other.

Changing the quarterback is the only way to send a real message to an underperforming team

You change your quarterback. Now you're sending a message to everybody. Like, whoa, we need to, we need to pick this thing up. And it wasn't anything against Carson Wentz, it was just the fact that we as a whole team, we weren't coaching and playing very well. I needed to do something to spark the team.

Being a backup quarterback is the hardest role to prepare for in football

It's probably the hardest position on the football team that still has to prepare like a starter, but is not playing... you're sitting there watching... and I never did this in Green Bay... but if that starter goes out with injury, I've gotta put the helmet on and go play. I don't want you to play like the starter. I want you to play like you.

Joe Burrow might be the best athlete to ever play sports

Joe Burrow might be the best athlete to ever play sports. I was gonna say Joe Burrow for MVP... I think it goes past that.

The top of the SEC has regressed and is now even with the rest of the country

I think that game [Florida State vs Alabama] might be a sign that the top of the SEC has come down to Earth. If you look at Georgia and Tennessee, they were very even... Alabama is nowhere near what they were. Georgia is nowhere near what they were... I think the top of the SEC has really regressed.

Dabo Swinney would be an incredible fit at Florida if he embraces the portal and NIL

If you're Florida... and you say, Dabo, I'm willing to give you this job if you embrace the transfer portal, if you change what you're doing... I think he would be an incredible fit at somewhere like Florida. If he just tweaked his recipe to cook with the ingredients that modern College Football has, I think he can be that coach again.

LSU has the wrong head coach in Brian Kelly

LSU should panic. LSU's got the wrong coach. They've had the wrong coach the whole time... Brian Kelly does not fit LSU football... as soon as he loses the seventh [game], the fan base is gonna turn on him again 'cause they don't like him. And I don't think he likes them.

Penn State should stay the course with James Franklin despite big-game losses

I think Penn State is absolutely on the should stay on the same course. Nothing has fallen off... Everything about the first three quarters told me James Franklin can't do it, and then the fourth quarter happened. I think they played well enough in the fourth quarter to convince themselves that they can break through.

Oklahoma is being ranked far too high at #5 in the AP Poll

Oklahoma, technically right now, they have a win over Auburn. They have a win over Michigan. I don't think either of those teams are any good. Oklahoma's number five in the country. I think that's poppycock. They should be like number 12.

Morning international games ruin the day for functional human beings

When you have the morning game, it fucks up your entire day as a functional human being. You wake up early, you can't do anything because you're watching the football game. And then guess what? When that football game's over, you have to watch another football game. Roger Goodell hates church.

Mike Tomlin absolutely lives in his fears despite his favorite catchphrase

Mike Tomlin, one of his favorite quotes to say is, 'we don't live in our fears.' Bullshit, dude. You do live in your fears. You had a fourth and maybe a half a yard on the opponent's 39 yard line and you punted. Everyone in the world is going for this. Just maybe go for it.

It should be illegal for the Eagles to run fake tush pushes

I think that should be illegal for the Eagles to do. Leave the real tush push, they should not be allowed to do fakes. It's just like an ethics code. You are better than everyone at the tush push. Do the tush push. Don't do the fake tush push. That's almost cheating in my eyes.

I will never reach a point this year where I can fully trust the Commanders' defense

I don't think I'm gonna reach a point this year where I'll be able to trust this [Commanders] defense. The Falcons offense was great, everything was easy for them and they were hitting their guys in space.

The Chiefs have officially become the new Patriots

Is it a hot take to say the Chiefs are officially the new Patriots? The way that we talk about the Chiefs—especially saying, 'Oh, everybody wrote them off too early, they're still the Chiefs'—that's the exact same way that we used to talk about the Patriots.

Sunday Night Football ties should be illegal

Sunday night football ties should be illegal. You have to end the day with a winner and a loser. I demand satisfaction to end the night. I need a winner and a loser.