Takes

Mike Vrabel breaking up fights is a culture changer for the Browns

Mike Vrabel has broken up a fight at training camp. I love this. Yeah. So Vrabel broke up another fight. Dove in... I love that vrs is doing this... that's culture. That's a culture changer.

The Stanley Cup tumbler craze is overhyped because it is just a cup

We're gonna take Stanley cups, drinkware, the big fucking Stanley Cups that everyone goes crazy about. All the women love it. Don't understand the hypes... It's literally just a cup... they're almost like beanie babies, like the newer version of Beanie Babies where people collect different colors.

Soccer is the most boring popular sport in the world

Soccer? Don't under don't understand. It's the most popular sport in the world. Yep. By far. Yep. And I watch a game and it seems so fucking boring. Like I get the moment that you get the goal is very fun. But every other moment in between it is like, when are they gonna fucking do something?

Taylor Swift Easter Eggs are stupid and overhyped

We're gonna take Taylor Swift Easter Eggs. Not Taylor Swift. The music, we understand the music... I, for the life of me do not understand when Taylor Swift just like matches a couple numbers... and everyone fucking goes full investigative journalism mode... it's fucking stupid.

Marvel movies are overhyped and cheesy for adults

I don't understand the hype as an adult is Marvel movies... I like good movies, but... the Marvel movies being like, you know, people like camping out for Marvel for superhero movies... it never made sense to me when they're like cheesy superhero movies.

Cold plunges are a form of performative suffering for wealthy people

It was widely considered like one of the worst parts of our week when like everyone on our team had to do a cold plunge and then out of nowhere it has just become widely known as like the best thing that people are like paying to go do for luxury... life is so easy that they like to do something that makes them feel pain... I heard about this on a podcast.

The Mona Lisa is an ugly, shitty, overhyped painting

We don't understand the hype of the Mona Lisa whatsoever. It's a fucking chick. And she's ugly. I don't get it... It's a fucking painting. It's so dumb. It's so hyped... It's a shitty painting. If you put that up in my house, it'd be like, take it down. She's ugly.

The hype around being an adult is unmerited; everyone rushes to grow up for no reason

Being an adult, I don't understand the hype on like being an adult. Everyone. You're as growing up. Everyone was like, I can't wait to get older, get older, get older. And I'm like, why are we rushing these things?... I don't get the hype on everyone wanting to age so quickly... I just, not all the aspects are the best.

AI is overhyped and will likely ruin everyone's life

I don't get the hype on ai. I feel like at best it's gonna just like, ruin everyone's life. Except for like a few people who will make all the money... I don't get why anyone is like pro ai... this could be really bad for everyone.

The Rams are not a good team without Matthew Stafford

I saw the Rams without Stafford a couple years ago. They're last in the league on third down. They can't make a yard. Yeah. The Rams are not very good at all without Stafford. I mean, let's just face it, that guy's a hell of a talent throwing the ball... there's a step down, big step down if he's not there.

Caleb Williams must speed up his processing to succeed in the NFL

Caleb Williams... His deep ball accuracy, his overall accuracy was not good. Yeah. His accuracy was not good. Hi. The clock in his head has to speed up man. He held the ball too long at Oklahoma. He held it too long at Southern County. He's holding it too long now. How do you coach that hard? You know?

MLB cannot let Shohei Ohtani win MVP because of the gambling and real estate controversies

I mean it, you can't, if you're the MLB, you can't have Shohei Ohtani with all these controversies being the base of your league. The gambling one, yeah, maybe blame it on the interpreter. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... we're about to give this guy his fourth MVP in five years? MLB writers really need to do like justice here because they are the keepers of the game.

Battlefield 6 is bringing realism back to first-person shooters

The Battlefield six beta has brought realism back into first person shooter games. They peaked with 520,000 concurrent players only on Steam. Battlefield six, none of [the skins]. We're riding tanks. We're blowing up buildings.

A cracked or shattered iPhone screen is incredibly sexy

The cracked iPhone. It is so sexy... when her iPhone screen is so shattered that she's got like tiny little cuts and abrasions on her thumb from using it. It's so hot. Hot. I got utterly unusable.

A girl throwing with perfect form is one of the hottest things imaginable

Throwing a perfect spiral. It is so sexy. The Kelsey Plum video... A girl throwing with perfect form is so hot. It's a regular thing... when a girl does it, it's so hot.

LeBron James is the undisputed GOAT and the only person on my NBA Mount Rushmore

Oh, well it's LeBron, LeBron, LeBron and LeBron.

Ryan Gosling is the hottest guy in Hollywood because he is a great actor who remains the 'guy next door'

I was gonna say [Ryan] Gosling just because I think he, like, not only can he play a character of a caricature of himself, but he also is like, I think just very striking, very, very guy next door. But he's also a really good actor, which I think is like a hard thing to do.

Getting into a fight overtrained is worse than going in undertrained

The biggest problem here is making sure that you are 100% on it when it comes to over training. 'cause getting in there overtrained is even worse than getting in there undertrained to be honest.

My fighting style is educated chaos that the world of MMA is still playing catch-up to

I think you guys are only criticizing my style where you should be taking notes instead. This is not just him going crazy. This is actually an educated scramble or an educated combination. Even though it looks different to what we used to, now they're playing catch up.

It would take at least 10 world-class UFC fighters to kill one silverback gorilla

A hundred of me will kill that gorilla. But we would need at least 10 [UFC fighters]. We would need at least 10. One guy is gonna have to sacrifice it, man. Yeah. You need one guy to sacrifice maybe two then you need one to be able to grab the back. I'll just keep on choking until it dies.

Pay-per-view is definitely not dead

Pay-per-view isn't dead. I mean, I'm gonna do a pay-per-view this Saturday. And when we were doing this deal, you know, even with the streaming services that we were talking to all the different ones, some of them still had pay-per-view options. So pay-per-view is not dead. That's not true.

CeeDee Lamb deserved to get run over.

CeeDee Lamb did deserve to get run over. Gotta have your head on a swivel.

Shedeur Sanders' Nike ad was a little premature

I just thought that the Nike ad, only a matter of time for the first preseason game was maybe a little premature.

Preseason injuries shouldn't count; we should just turn them off.

Preseason injuries shouldn't count. We should just turn them off. What if we just don't do it? ... Preseason injuries are absolute bullshit.

If you have a kicker who can hit 77-yarders consistently, you should draft only defense and kick field goals on every drive.

If you have a guy who can kick a 77 yarder consistently... do you think a team would be like, we don't need an offense. We will just draft all defense every year... All we gotta do is get the ball to the 40 and we'll just kick... If you get three points per drive, I think you win most football games. All right. We just broke football.

The Virginia McCaskey memorial patch is way too big and needs to be 50% smaller.

All Due Respect. The patch is too big... It's gotta be like 50% as big. It's pretty dumb... All Due Respect guys. The patch is so, so big and so kind of like in your face that I wish she was still alive. All Due Respect. 'cause then we wouldn't have the patch. Right.

Tommy Fleetwood is a bonafide choker

Tommy Fleetwood is, I think I love him now 'cause it's rare that we have like just a good old bonafide, old fashioned bonafide choker and that's all he is. He can't win a [tournament].

The Celtics should give Joe Mazzulla a job for life

Signed a multi-year extension back with the Celtics. They should just give him a job for life.

MGK objectively has bangers and I'm officially coming out as a fan.

MGK Dropped an album on Friday. It's good... I really dislike how much I respect MGK as an artist... He objectively has bangers. Yeah, I agree. He's, he's got good songs... I'm out. I'm officially, I'm coming out. I'm an MGK fan.

One of the best parts of getting old is being able to get away with light shoplifting.

Light shoplifting. Just a little bit of light shoplifting. Some of it, when you're old you can kind of just walk out with shit. And people aren't gonna get mad at you. ... Oh, I didn't know. I, I put the, that candy bar in there. ... Whoops.

I can't wait to use a handicapped parking spot when I'm old

Handicapped parking. I can't wait to fucking do it... Primo spots. Oh, I always pass it. I'm like, obviously don't want, I'm very thankful to be able to be able, but if you're old, that's a good, that's a good deal.

One of the best things to look forward to when you're old is watching your enemies die.

Watching your enemies die. I got some enemies that I wouldn't hate seeing die. ... and like the older you get, the better chance you have to watch them die.

We have officially reached a sad point in society where 69 and 420 aren't the only funny numbers anymore.

Back in our day when 69 was the only funny number, 69 and 420 was all you needed. Really sad. Really sad. Where we've gotten to.

If you don't start riding by age 4, you likely won't turn pro today

The kids, if you don't start by four, you're probably not making it to that professional level. There's very few... it's amazing how hard these kids work.

If you have to light yourself on fire for a trick, it's not cool enough

If you have to light yourself on fire, the trick's not cool enough to start with.

I am convinced that I am the best driver in the world.

I have a reputation for crashing, but there's no one here today that's gonna go faster. ... I am convinced that I'm the best driver in the world. If someone's going faster, I'm gonna like, obviously I could just do it.

If you can throw a golf ball 200 yards, you can probably break 90 on a golf course

I honestly think if you could throw a golf ball 200 yards, you could probably break 90 on a golf course. Just throwing the ball. Like he might be, what would that put you at? Probably like around 80. You could probably break 80 maybe.

True grit in a football player is defined by how they overcome adversity

Adversity. You know, you wanna see how people are handling adversity, overcoming adversity. And that could be in different areas of life. You know, that could be off the field. That could be on the field. But we know how hard it is to play in the NFL.

A general manager needs to experience life as a scout to understand their frustrations

Coach Reid used to say... you gotta go on the road. And for two years I was out on the road and doing 30 schools. And it was so smart by him because it was like, you need to feel what your scouts are feeling. You know, you need to feel the frustrations of missing flights and going to schools that give you a lot of information that give you little information.

You can't fix every team need in a single draft without hurting the overall quality

Every team's gonna have a weakness. And if you think you're gonna come at a draft and get every need fixed, you probably had a shitty draft. It's so hard to find good players. You accumulate good players, hopefully at important positions and everything else works out.

A quarterback with long hair should cut it if they want to win a Super Bowl

So if we get a quarterback with long hair, 15 years from now, Jalen's career's done, and he comes in, I can tell him to cut his hair. Cut. Cut. And then we're good.

Pass rush moves are actually overrated

I honestly think pass rush moves are overrated. Out of my 129 sacks, 90-95 sacks have come off some type of speed to power element. The ghost move gets highlighted but it is just a knuckle ball off of my speed.

Glow-in-the-dark skeleton pajamas are the 'good suits' of pajamas

But you also have glow in the dark pajamas. Those are, those aren't regular pajamas. Those are the good suits of pajamas.

The dream life is having your biggest problem be a spilled Dr. Pepper while gaming

I'm jealous of this. Like you were, you were describing like, obviously I love my kids. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but like for a minute I would love to just be like, oh man, my biggest issue tonight is I spill my Dr. Pepper while gaming in my pajamas. That's a good night, dude.

Hard Knocks is just a 45-minute commercial for whatever team they are profiling

Hard Knocks is just gonna be like a 45 minute commercial for whatever team they happen to be profiling because otherwise no teams would ever do it and the NFL wouldn't allow it.

The NCAA voting not to expand the tournament is just a way to move the Overton window for next year

They're, they put this out there being like, Hey, we're not gonna do it. Knowing that now it's, it's they moved the Overton window. Where now we're talking about the expansion and next year they're probably gonna let it in.

Mike McDaniel's comments about being closer to death signal bad vibes for the Dolphins

Mike McDaniel's in a press conference yesterday said that today's a great day because we're one day closer to death... Do you think things are going well with the Miami Dolphins right now? Bad vibes.

Riding a bike as an adult is overrated compared to being good at golf

Guess what? Riding a bike. Overrated When you become adult. Golf is way more useful. Like I would trade being able to ride a bike for being able to golf well instantly.

The Cowboys would need three first-round picks to trade Micah Parsons

It probably would be three first round picks. Yeah. Yes. Because the Cowboys wanna keep the franchise tag existing... I don't, my, my feeling on it... I don't think an NFL team has ever traded the guy they wanted to keep.

Mike McDaniel is a sleeper candidate for the Hot Seat because ex-players on TV hate him

Mike McDaniel's... The vibes can be high there, but... The one thing that's funny about McDaniel is how much Ex-players on TV hate Mike McDaniel. They really hate him. Like, every time I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go hard on the Dolphins. Some guy next to me is like, this is the worst team. This is the worst coach in the world.