Takes

Fox has a much better Thanksgiving broadcast than CBS because they use holiday graphics

CBS cheated us on that. I don't know if you saw it. But it came back. They didn't have it, and then Fox was like a bukkake of leaves on my face. Leaves and gourds just dripping... I actually got mad on Thanksgiving Day when I turned on the Lions game and it was just a regular scoreboard. How the fuck am I supposed to know it's a holiday if it's a regular scoreboard?

Ryan Leaf and Johnny Manziel are bigger busts than a serial killer

I think Ryan Leaf and Johnny Manziel still are bigger [busts].

Banning the home run in baseball would make the sport unwatchable

I would love that rule [banning the home run]. That would be a great rule. Could you imagine? Actually, that would basically make baseball unwatchable, now that I'm saying it out loud.

Michael Jordan is the worst-dressed rich person in the world

I would say [Jordan] is probably the worst dresser, worst rich dresser in the world... He's worn cargo jeans before. Yeah. That cargo jeans are like, if you're not a Juggalo, you shouldn't be wearing cargo jeans.