Takes

Dak Prescott is the 24th best quarterback in the NFL

Make the accurate ranking tier. Just be 23 Daniel Jones, 24 Dak... I googled QB Rankings for 2025 Pro Football Focus. Where do you think they had Dak Prescott? 18, 17... I couldn't make him the 17th best anymore.

CJ Abrams is the best Saber Metric pick in the Dingers Only draft because he leads off

Ideally you want your players to get as many opportunities to hit home runs as possible. Why not take a guy that hits lead off shortstop. CJ Abrams. He's gonna get like four more at bats than some of your guys' clowns.

Kyle Shanahan is now the top candidate for the 'Can't Win The Big One' narrative

Kyle Shanahan needs a Super Bowl so badly. It's, it's desperate. It's aged him. Have you seen the before and after? Yeah. It's like he's a president.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

Jalen Brunson is the next 'Can't Win The Big One' guy in the NBA

How about this one? Hank, you're gonna like this one. Jalen Brunson. Mm. Does that do anything for you? Yeah. Not clutch at all... I'm trying to predict where the narratives are gonna go next... The Knicks were built to beat the Celtics this year.

Steph Curry enters the Kobe realm of the GOAT conversation if he wins a 5th title this year

If the Warriors go on a run, which they could... Steph Curry goes, lights out. Is Steph Curry, does he enter the Kobe realm of the goat conversation?... If the Warriors win the NBA title this year, Steph Curry wins finals MVP, I feel like you're gonna have the Jordan, LeBron, Kobe Curry conversation.

Kevin O'Connell is a regular season merchant who can't win in the playoffs

Kevin O'Connell. Can't, can't win in the playoffs. Oh. He's a regular season merchant... Bringing the best out of him. Getting high seeds, losing the playoffs. Just something to keep your eye on. Keep an eye on.

Duke is going to win the NCAA Tournament

I think Duke's gonna win it all though. I'm pretty set in that thought. I mean, winning a second round game by the way they did against Baylor. Just not competitive.

Houston will dominate Purdue in the Sweet 16

I love Houston. I think Houston's going to dominate Purdue. I said something nice about Purdue someday this might say something mean about Purdue. You're gonna get your fucking ass kicked.

DeVonta Smith will have 50+ receiving yards in Super Bowl 59

My prop. I think that DeVonta Smith is due. Oh, I think he, I 50 plus yards. I feel good about DeVonta Smith.

Patrick Mahomes will throw an interception in Super Bowl 59

The prop that I'll be betting that I'll be rooting for is Patrick Mahomes over one half interception. So Patrick Mahomes a throwing interception.

Dallas Goedert will have over 60 receiving yards in Super Bowl 59

I'm going, I think this has gotta be a huge Dallas Goedert game. So I'm going Dallas Goedert over 60 yards receiving plus one 19. So it's plus money. I think this is Dallas Goedert game. I think he's got to eat. He's also, he leads the Eagles in, in receiving yards in the Playoffs.

The Eagles have a better chance of beating the Chiefs than the Commanders do

The Eagles have a much better chance to beat the Chiefs. That's true. And so I don't, I don't, I don't wanna root for the Commanders, have them win and then just get smoked by the Chiefs and then Threepeat.

Ohio State is the better team and will beat Notre Dame in the National Championship

I mean, Ohio State's the better team. I feel like it's one of those things where like Notre Dame two outta 10 times maybe could win this game... It's probably Ohio State.

Patrick Mahomes is basically lights out in the Divisional Round

He plays in this divisional round and he's basically just, he's, I mean he's undefeated. He lights out. That's just what happens. He is six and oh. He has 1,813 total yards, 16 touchdowns... zero interceptions.

Travis Kelce ramps it up in the playoffs compared to the regular season

I do think this is where Travis Kelce ramps it up. Like, I like his over yards. I think this is, he, he, he plays in second gear for the majority of the regular season. And then when you get to these points... it's Travis Kelce or Mahomes using his feet.

If the Commanders keep the Lions game within one score in the 4th quarter, they will win

If we can keep it within a score, Jaden Daniels can go out there and win the game. And the Lions' buttholes might get tight.

Vic Fangio will dial up something to stifle the Rams offense

I think Vic Fangio is gonna have, he's gonna dial some shit up. Stafford, older, doesn't play well in cold weather. I think Vic Fangio is gonna have, he's gonna dial some shit up.

Lamar Jackson may struggle because he doesn't like the cold

Coldest game that Lamar Jackson's ever played. Guess what it was? 27. This is eight degrees is very different from 27. Lamar, in their earlier matchup this season, the temperature was like 60 and he was wearing a hoodie and a beanie for it. I don't know that Lamar loves the cold.

Only five teams can realistically win the Super Bowl

I have five teams... Philadelphia Eagles, the Detroit Lions, the Baltimore Ravens, the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills.

The Chargers will beat the Texans in the Wild Card round

Everything we just have said is just like, you should just take the [under]... I do think the Chargers win. I'm a little nervous about three just because it does feel like it's going to be a low scoring knockdown, drag out fight.

I love the over in the Bills vs. Broncos game

I think I love the over in this game. I love it. Love it, love it. I think that the, I mean the weakness of the bills is their defense has not been great... And Josh Allen has been playing out of his mind and I think that he will not be stopped either.

Jaden Daniels will run all over the Buccaneers

I think Jayden is going to run the fuck outta the football. And I think Austin Eckler is gonna run the fuck outta the football. I think that Todd Bowles is going to, if he tries to blitz Jayden the way that he did in week one, it's not gonna end up well for him.

I would rather have Mike McCarthy as my head coach than Brian Flores

I'd much rather have if given a choice, Mike McCarthy over Brian Flores... I think Brian Flores could be a very good head coach with a well established quarterback in place... I just don't want a defensive coach and I don't, I want Ben Johnson.

George Kittle is a first-ballot Hall of Famer

George Kittle should be in Canton. He is the fourth tight end all time to have four 1,000 yard seasons... George Kittle should be in a gold jacket. We'll start working on a PowerPoint. But he's an absolute monster.

The Panthers will cover +8 against the Buccaneers

I'll take the Panthers plus eight... I think the Panthers are live in this game... full on like the Panthers and the Cowboys are the two teams that stink but are playing actually good ball in the last month and feels like they're just ready to play spoiler.

Joe Mixon is a bust whenever he plays a top-12 rush defense

Kansas City has the seventh ranked rush defense, according to DVOA Joe Mixon rushing... Anytime he's had to play a top 12 rush defense... he has been bust. And if the Texans can't run the ball, I really don't like this offense.

TJ Watt's injury might be a psychological 'Art of War' ploy to trick the Ravens

I have a theory about TJ Watt's injury... I think this could be an Art of War situation. Sun Sue Art of War. Make your enemy think that you were weak when you were strong... Start throwing out the one in 10 without TJ Watts Stats... Let people start thinking during the week of practice. Maybe TJ's not gonna be playing this week.

Lamar Jackson will win MVP because of standalone games, but Josh Allen deserves it more

Lamar [Jackson] might win it just because he plays two standalone games. And that's all this award ends up coming down to... I think it should be Josh Allen. But I also understand that this award becomes narratives.

Any quarterback who loses their first Super Bowl appearance never returns to the big game

The curse of Jim Kelly is a curse that just hit the internet... essentially it's any quarterback that goes to a Super Bowl and loses their first one never goes back to the Super Bowl. Jalen Hurts did that... Stan Humphreys, Neil O'Donnell, drew Bledsoe... Joe Burrow. Jalen Hurts. Brock Purdy.

I bet $5,000 on the Philadelphia Eagles to win the Super Bowl

I put a bomb future down and I put it on the Eagles. I almost five have five grand on the Eagles plus four 50. That, that I almost biggest, that'll be the biggest bet I've ever won.

Michael Penix Jr. is the guy to finally unlock Bijan Robinson and Kyle Pitts

I think [Michael Penix Jr.] might be the guy to finally unlock Bijan [Robinson] and give us a proper... maybe Kyle Pitts just needs a left-handed quarterback.

Mike Vrabel and Josh McDaniels will be the next New England Patriots coaching duo

Vrabel McDaniels... that's the combo. [Josh] McDaniels had Mac Jones in the Pro Bowl... give me Vrabel and McDaniels and I am pumped.

The New York Jets will dominate the Jacksonville Jaguars

I think this is gonna be a shit kicking by the Jets... This is actually my game of the year. I think they're gonna take all the frustrations out of this dog shit season onto the Jaguars Sunday.

Bill Belichick will be successful at UNC because he can simplify the path to the NFL for recruits

I think he's gonna be successful at UNC. I really do... there is a compelling case for Bill Belichick shows up to your living room and says, Hey, I can get you in the NFL... I'm just gonna get you in the NFL.

UNC will make the College Football Playoff in Bill Belichick's first year

[Bill Belichick will be successful] first year... College football playoff. We should win the ACC.

The Lions defense struggles against running quarterbacks

This is the week that the lions all their defensive injuries... This is an elite elite offense. And Aaron Glenn, I know this from experience because Justin Fields used to play well against Lions. Aaron Glenn's defenses don't do well against running quarterbacks. He refuses to do a spy.

Bills vs. Lions is a potential Super Bowl preview

Possible Super Bowl preview. This would be my dream Super Bowl matchup in terms of fans... in New Orleans. Holy shit. Would it rock just like partying with Lions and Bills fans all week.

College football should get rid of conference championships and just start the 16-team playoff that weekend

Get rid of the conference championships. If you're gonna do it this way, get rid of the conference championships and just have the playoffs start that weekend. Yeah. Like, have it be the first weekend of December, have it be 16 teams or whatever it is.

The top four teams in the CFP should always get a bye, regardless of whether they won their conference

Top four teams should get a bye. Because as it stands right now, and I Boise's good, I think Boise could beat anyone... But it just, it's, when I look at the bracket, the thing that keeps sticking out is like Oregon had by far and away the best season in college football... And their matchup potentially is gonna be Ohio State or Tennessee in the first round. Which that doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Bill Belichick will be successful at UNC by marketing it as an 'NFL factory'

I think that if you are matter of fact, he's gonna be the closer. If you're a matter of fact to these both transfer kids and like, I think he'll crush it in the transfer portal because if he just says, Hey, I'm not gonna try to sell you on, like, this idea that we're gonna, we're competing for national titles right away, or we're do, I'm gonna get you ready to play football at the National Football League level and there's no one better that knows that than me.

Nepotism in football coaching is more acceptable than in playing because you work up through ranks

Coaching is a lot different than playing... Football is like the most, basketball is different. There's not a lot of examples of nepotism drafts. There's a million examples of nepotism coaching... He [Steve Belichick] worked his way up the ranks as any head coach that's ever head coached in the history of coaching has.

Arizona State will win the College Football Playoff because they are the hottest team

You know what I'm taking Arizona State. Fuck it... I want, I don't think it works for college football, but it, if it was hockey or college basketball, they're the hottest team. Make a run.

JJ McCarthy will end up being the best quarterback from the 2024 draft class

JJ McCarthy's gonna end up being the best quarterback from that draft class. Well, that's just what's gonna end up happening after all this discussion. And that JJ McCarthy's somehow gonna be like the best player of all time.

Mike Tomlin is the best coach in the NFL right now

I love Mike Tomlin more than anyone I think in the NFL right now. It's crazy how awesome he is. He is just, he gets in front of a room and I, you just get pumped up. He's the best.

Brock Bowers is the best tight end in the NFL and should win Rookie of the Year

Brock Bowers is first in receptions. He's fourth in yards. I know that it will go to a quarterback. But Brock Bowers the best tight end in the NFL. He should win Rookie of the Year.

The 49ers are just not a good team this year

Are the Niners just bad? Yeah, they're bad. I think they might be just bad. They're just bad this year. Like we just gotta accept the fact that they're just not good.

The Bears should fire Matt Eberflus immediately after a Thanksgiving loss

They should fire him after we get embarrassed by the Lions. Because at this point I know the Bears have never fired a coach in a hundred years history in Midseason at this point. You should honestly tell Caleb like, Hey we fucked up with Shane Waldron and Matt Eberflus our bad. We're firing him right now.

The Lions are the best team in the NFL in every category

I think the Lions... I think they're the best at everything. I really do. I think that they're, they have maybe the best running attack in the NFC... the Lions are better than the Eagles at almost everything.

Tua Tagovailoa will destroy the cold weather narrative against the Packers

I'm, I'm kind of in on Tua though, being a destroyer of narratives... for whatever reason, the fact that Tua talked about it, I think I'm in, I'm, I think I'm in on the Dolphins winning a game [in Green Bay].