Takes

The New York Jets' season is officially over.

I think the season's over. We suck. We have no identity. We just, we're just a bad football team... we're as Jets as as possible.

The Dodgers rotation is a mystery but their bullpen is elite enough to grind any team down.

The Dodgers are a wagon, they are insanely, insanely good. It just felt like every at bat, they just grind you down. They beat you up... I don't still even understand what the Dodgers rotation is because they just have so many bullpen arms that are just always warming up and ready to mow people down.

Aaron Judge is not a 'true Yankee' unless he wins a World Series.

Aaron Judge, I will absolutely a hundred percent say that he is not a true Yankee if he doesn't win a World Series. That's a fact.

My botched dunk attempts will be 'technical dunks' involving a super-inflated basketball.

The way I'm gonna dunk, even if I am able to do it, it's gonna piss people off because I'm basically going to have a super inflated ball. I'm gonna throw it so that it bounces off the ground. I basically need to perfect bouncing a ball so that it lands basically bounces and lands in the hoop. I'm going to guide it on the way down. Tap it.

Bo Nix is the Taysom Hill of passing

If you've ever wondered what Taysom Hill would look like if he was a little bit better at passing and a little bit worse at running, you got the full Bo Nix Taysom Hill experience tonight because Sean Payton was doing the old Taysom Hill playbook for Bo Nix.

Thursday Night Football is at its best when the games are objectively terrible

Thursday night football should be bad. Yeah. We should just embrace the bad and just like, just bathe in just shitty gross football. 'cause you know, you got all the football coming up, it's like the entry point to the weekend. I kind of enjoyed the fact like even that first pass that Bo Nicks had where he split his wide receivers that were both [open].

I apologize to the Buccaneers; my previous hatred was 100% caused by 'Che Bias'

I've retracted my take. I've done some soul searching about the Buccaneers. I apologize for saying the Buccaneers aren't very good. It is a hundred percent Che bias. I sat with Che for an entire game watching him and it just, it sits with you and it really eats away at you.

The Packers' all-white 'Winter Warning' uniforms are a disgusting affront to football

The Packers going with the all-white uniforms and all-white helmets are a disgusting affront to football color rush. It's a disgusting front. The Green Bay Packers—and I hate them—their football jerseys and color scheme are football. They should never do any type of gimmicky alternate bullshit. If you're a Packers fan, you should be disgusted by this.

The Giants should keep Brian Daboll even if the season goes poorly

I think that Daboll is a good head coach. I don't think that they should fire him after this season. I think 'cause you have to make the choice. Right. Do do you clean house, maybe get a new quarterback and a new head coach at the same time? Or do you keep the same guy around and give him at least a couple years to work with your new quarterback? I actually like Brian Daboll enough to say that he should be their head coach.

Watching Super Bowl tape as motivation before a rematch is a bad move by Kyle Shanahan

Kyle Shanahan forced the team to watch the Super Bowl this week and said, I think everyone understands that we've lost two Super Bowls [to] them. So, I mean, that can give you a little post-traumatic stress when you turn on the tape. I don't know. I don't know if I like that. ... In what world does that improve morale? Zero. I I guess you could just hope that it's gonna piss 'em off.

Winning the Pro Bowl should grant players a 'reverse card' on the franchise tag

Especially think about the guys that are in that game... Or no franchise tag. Like they get basically an Uno card reverse on a franchise tag if you win the Pro Bowl. I feel like that—Roger Goodell, give us a call.

Tom Brady makes football easy by simply throwing to the void in zone coverage regardless of the route depth

It was more so the way in which he just simplified everything. Like if, if if I'm running a corner route and it's zone coverage and there's a massive void in the defense, like when I come outta my corner route, like turn around, I'm gonna throw the ball. ... Whereas Tom was like, almost at times like recess. ... I turn around and he is like, 'bro, what are you doing? There's no one there. Like, turn around.' ... Gronk for sure would've done that.

The Davante Adams trade was a masterclass in PR by the New York Jets

This is actually a masterclass in PR by Woody Johnson and his son, Erik Johnson and the entire New York Jets organization because they didn't even let the media have a single news cycle where we're talking about what happened on Monday night.

A head coach cannot have a beard as long as Jeff Ulbrich's

I don't think you could have a beard that long as a head coach. I'm just saying in terms of if you're looking at a head coach, like if you're mocking up a head coach, when are you drawing in a massive beard? The beard just doesn't give head coach vibes.

Sean Manaea's new delivery has made him unhittable despite his career stats

Sean Manaea sucked. And then he just did that one thing to switch it up and now no one can hit him. If you're bad, just do that. Everyone on the Phillies had great numbers against Manaea. Everyone on the Dodgers had great numbers against Manaea, but it doesn't matter 'cause he's just a different pitcher this year.

College football is better than it has ever been

I have a belief now that college football is better than it has ever been. And I know there was a lot of handwringing going on with all the changes happening. But we're now in a spot and there's gonna be more change. I get it. Expansion, all that stuff with the NIL. The NIL and the portal flattening it out. So it doesn't feel like this year, maybe Texas, but it doesn't feel outside of Texas that there's those like two or three super teams that no one has a chance against.

Clemson is actually good and everyone has just forgotten about them

I think as a collective society, we have forgotten about Clemson. [They] just tricked us. [They] aren't as good as Georgia, but they've been killing people.

Texas is inevitable and is in a tier by themselves

Texas, to me, Texas will learn a lot about them this weekend. I feel like they're inevitable. I feel like this is Texas and then everybody else.

The Ryder Cup pricing is a mistake that ruins home field advantage

People are very upset about the prices for the upcoming Ryder Cup. Next summer at Bethpage... it's $750 for a day. Normally I would say golf fans probably have expendable money... but this is such a fuck you and a mistake to trying to get a home field advantage. If you price out rowdy New Yorkers who want to go to the Ryder Cup and scream heinous shit at all the Europeans, you've completely ruined this.

Eli Manning is the greatest big-game quarterback I have ever seen

People argue with me, I get it. But he's the greatest big-game quarterback that I've ever seen. I mean the way he approached things and the fact that he really accepted the challenge. He wanted the challenge... I've seen him do it under any circumstance you can imagine.

The Doug Pederson and Nick Foles pairing is the craziest Super Bowl winning duo ever.

Are we gonna look back and say Doug Pederson and Nick Foles was the craziest Super Bowl winning combo of all time? It is the craziest thing. ... Doug Pederson is going to get fired probably mid-season here.

The Ravens offense is the best in the NFL.

The Ravens offense is the best offense in football. Maybe the Lions, they're [close]... but the Ravens are just, they are the first team since 1971... to have 150 plus rushing yards and a rush TD in all six of their first games.

Nick Sirianni is having a mental breakdown.

Nick Sirianni after the game or while the game was still going on, looked into the crowd and started basically getting in an argument with the Eagles crowd... Has he lost his mind? He also shaved his head. Which which is a classic sign of losing his mind. ... Siri's showing up today. I think that everybody thought the same thing. Like this is, we saw what happened with Britney Spears. Is Siri in a conservatorship?

Chris Godwin is an elite receiver who needs more respect.

Chris Godwin deserves to be given more credit for being awesome... we just need to throw some more respect on Chris Godwin's name because he's been very good this year. He's had a very good career and I think he got kind of forgotten a little bit.

Dennis Allen is a bad head coach who doesn't have a specialty.

Dennis Allen... he stinks. He doesn't even really have anything that he's good at. I'm not talking about just as a head coach, he doesn't have a specialty like Todd Bowles... with Dennis Allen, there's nothing where I think 'Dennis Allen mastermind.'

Joe Flacco is the better option if the Colts are trying to win football games right now.

And Flacco, he makes a couple mistakes, but they're no worse than any Anthony Richardson mistake. And then he's at his best. ... I mean, I think if you're trying to win football games, that's what you're supposed to do. Then you should start Joe. It's that simple.

I give Drake Maye a solid B-minus for his first career start.

I'm gonna give Drake Maye a solid B-minus. ... [A] bad interception. ... He did get pressured a lot. He did, you know, get thrown into the fire. But he threw a couple really nice deep balls. A couple mistakes. But it was, it was exciting.

The Texans might actually benefit long-term from Nico Collins being out because it forced Tank Dell and Joe Mixon to step up.

My idea that the Texans might actually end up benefiting long-term for Nico Collins being out this tank dell had his best game of the season. Joe Mixon was a awesome, again... I think the Texans are gonna be better off [because of the variety of scoring].

Dak Prescott is an 'ass' quarterback.

The Cowboys, they're just ass. Dak is ass. He's had some big time games where he's been ass. ... He put them in a hole that basically they weren't able to get out of. He was horrible.

The Lions have the best roster in the NFC by far.

I think they're the best roster in the NFC by far. ... I still think that the Lions are, are good enough to still, we can still say I think they have the best roster in the NFC. ... I'm not saying the Lions are bad. I just don't, I don't think the Bucs [are in that tier].

The Panthers should put Bryce Young back in because they aren't winning with Andy Dalton anyway.

Why don't the Panthers just put Bryce Young back in? ... What's the point in not playing him when you're not gonna do anything this year? I know that it's probably, you know, you're, you're wishing on a lottery ticket. But what's the point in not playing him when you're not gonna do anything this year? ... The gambler in me would be like, what if a one in a hundred chance he just, something clicks and he's good.

The Dodgers lineup is scarier than the Phillies lineup.

The Dodgers lineup is scarier than the Phillies [on paper]. Shohei [Ohtani] is a game changer. ... I'm just saying the Dodgers lineup is scarier.

I find myself actually liking LeBron James after watching the 'Starting Five' show on Netflix.

I have been watching, there's a lot episodes, so I'm, I'm not finished with it. But the NBA starting five show on Netflix. ... I do find myself like liking LeBron... He's funny. ... Like he's just, it's just the, he's funny. He's just a big goof.

Brock Purdy is just flat out good

Brock Purdy's just good. He has wheels. He is moving around. He's throwing guys open. Yeah, he's good.

The Phillies are in a downhill spiral and their window is closed

Philly's lost the game. They looked like shit. It's exact same thing that went on from 2009 to 2011 of the Phillies... and then what I am saying, yes, it is the same thing. Like it is just a downhill spiral with no World Series. There's no hope. There's no hope. And the window's closed for every team.

The Mets are a team of destiny

The Mets are too fucking good. The Mets are really fucking good. They're a team of destiny. I've said it and I'll say it again.

The Ravens offense is the best in the league

I do think that the Ravens offense is, it's the best in the league. It's the best in the league.

Michael Jordan would destroy LeBron James in a one-on-one game

I think [Michael Jordan] would destroy [LeBron James] in one-on-one. That's just me. [Jordan] would just out-intangible him. He would out-trash talk him. LeBron could not carry Jordan's sneakers.

Tim Tebow would have won a lot of games if an NFL team ran his college offense

If I run his college offense, I'm going to win a lot of games in the National Football League. He'll never make a Pro Bowl, but I want that guy on my team... nobody ever gave him a shot [after Denver]. Nobody ever gave him a shot. I, I just believed in him winning football games.

Dak Prescott is not a Super Bowl winning quarterback

I'm just not buying. I don't believe I've, I've seen enough. I know what he is. And what especially he is not, he is two and five in the postseason. And every time a big moment has come in a postseason game that is begging to be won, he's not there. He's safe, and you know, he's going to put up gaudy enough numbers to be somewhere on the fringe of the MVP race... but they'll be just good enough to be a factor, just good enough to be relevant.

Stephen A. Smith has the greatest gift of gab in the history of television

He has the greatest gift of gab in the history of television in my view. You just knew right away he's going to let me say that to him. [Stephen A. Smith] is the perfect foil for me.

Michael Jordan was the worst team builder in the history of sports

Michael Jordan as the team builder in Charlotte, who was the biggest disaster of a general manager in the history of sports. The greatest performer and player in the history of sports was the worst team builder in the history of sports for low those many years in Charlotte. Because he couldn't see why can he play and he can't.

The Patriots are starting Drake Maye specifically to sell throwback jerseys

Do you think this is because they're wearing the throwbacks and if they win, they're going to sell a shit ton of Drake Maye [jerseys]? Patriots throwbacks... You're absolutely right. Because why wouldn't you do it against the Jaguars?

College football is in a great spot because NIL and the transfer portal have increased parity

I truly believe with the NIL and transfer portal, I think you're going to get these teams, the Vandys of the world, being able to take a little slight step up and be competitive in these type of games that you didn't have before... It feels like there is a maybe 10 teams right now that... could win the playoff.

Bob Costas is horrible at broadcasting baseball and should stop

Bob Costas... He just sounded, he's broadcasting the Yankees-Royals series and he sounds horrible... He has all the money. He doesn't need to do it. I don't get why he chooses to do it.

Coaches and organizations fail quarterbacks more than the players fail them

I really believe that so many of these quarterbacks are really talented. They just get put in bad situations... I think that organizations and offensive coaches and offensive coordinators have failed quarterbacks more than quarterbacks have failed organizations.

The Vikings are the second best team in the NFL behind only the Chiefs

The Vikings, I think are like, they're the most besides the Chiefs. They're probably the team I believe in the most as of right now... Five and oh, best team in football going into the bye week.

The 2024 Texans haven't even played their best football yet despite a 4-1 start

The crazy thing about the Texans, I don't think the Texans played their best game and they're four and one and look for real... it doesn't feel like they've put together a full four quarters yet and they're four and one.

Deshaun Watson has to be benched

Deshaun Watson has to be benched. There was a moment in this game where I was like, holy fuck. How is this guy still playing? He doesn't want to go for it on fourth down... he stinks at football.

Joe Flacco gives the Colts their best chance to win over Anthony Richardson

You gotta say that Flacco gives you your best chance [to win]... Flacco's the best. And it's so much fun watching him.