Takes

Matt Kuchar's stunt at the Wyndham Championship was a total douchebag move

Matt Kuchar. What a dickhead. What a douchebag. Hits into the group ahead of him on 18. And then just picks up his ball and leaves and says it's too dark. And came back on Monday to finish half a hole... it didn't win. Made people come back and sit there... Douchebag move by him.

Matt Kuchar might have been taking a stand against slow play by refusing to finish on Sunday

I did see a golf journalist who had a thread breaking down why he might have been doing it... the group in front of 'em was playing super, super slow all day... maybe he was just trying to set a example of like, the guy should have been playing faster in front of them.

The New York Jets are having one of the crispest training camps in the NFL

Of all the practice I've been to the crispest practice I was at was at this Jets one and it's like they're really good on paper... I'd say the Jets are running a very crisp, nicely, somewhat under the radar training camp.

Steph Curry saved America with his performance in the Olympic gold medal game

Steph Curry is the man he saved America. That was one of the most fun times I've had watching basketball. And Steph Curry comes in and he was lights out for the last two games... 17 for 26 from 3, 60 points in the last two games.

Modern NBA players genuinely cared about winning the Olympic gold medal

The players cared. They cared very deeply about it. Oh dude, they cared... They wanted to be in there. They wanted to be playing. They wanted to do this. I, I guess for the country, which is awesome to see because an Olympics pass, some of the guys were just like, yeah, whatever. It's basically an exhibition.

Skip Bayless would have found a way to criticize LeBron James's legacy regardless of the Olympic MVP outcome

Skip obviously went straight to Twitter and was like, Steph Curry won the MVP. Right? Yeah. He said LeBron did win the MVP and yeah, skip was like, this is an indictment on LeBron's legacy just perfect spin zone... if Steph had gotten the MVP, it would've been the same video being like LeBron didn't get the MVP and this was his team.

Noah Lyles is the Hater of the Year for his comments on the NBA

Noah Lyles... might have to do that as a Takey Hater of the Year. Because he was the one who before the Olympics said, you don't win a world championship if you win the NBA championship. That's not the world... He definitely got cut playing basketball. He's got some very deep seated anger for any ball sport.

Watching Caleb Williams play made me feel like an idiot for ever believing in Mitch Trubisky or Justin Fields

Watching Caleb Williams play quarterback made me feel like the dumbest person in the entire world forever thinking that Mitch Trubisky and Justin Fields were the guys. 'Cause it looks so different. Yeah. And I know it's preseason... but it just looks different. Like he's his, he's confident, poised, like reading the defense, it just looks different.

Jayden Daniels reminds me of rookie RG3

My own experience watching Jayden [Daniels] on Saturday... that one throw he had oh, so sick... He reminds me of RG3 in the RG3 good times. It's been 30 years since I've had a quarterback that for longer than like 10 weeks I could really root for and really think this is the guy.

I am not ready to get hurt again by a Bears quarterback

I am not ready to get hurt again. I am not. I've been hurt too many times too recently... I'm not mentally, physically in a space where I could take the hurt again. It will, it will kill me. This will be the last hurt of my life.

I will be a 'monster' if Caleb Williams turns out to be incredible

I don't know what I'm capable of. Like, I, it's scary to think of what I could be capable of. If Caleb Williams was like, incredible. I might be a monster.

Matthew Stafford is a future Hall of Famer

I had to take that you're gonna be a Hall of Famer in 2018. And people laughed at me... my point at the time was look at his longevity. If he has a deep playoff run, you obviously win a Super Bowl. He's gonna be right there and If, you look right now, three to four If, you play three or four more years, you're gonna be top five passing yards, top 10 touchdowns.

Secretariat was definitely on steroids

I'm gonna take Secretariat. Some would say the the greatest athlete of all time. But its heart was like three times too big. We've documented that tirelessly on this show. Secretariat definitely on steroids. Randy Moss, white, Randy Moss agreed. Chances are very, very high.

Joel Embiid falls on his head intentionally to minimize impact on his knees

I saw some people saying that maybe [Joel Embiid] was trying to minimize the impact on his knees. So he's just not landing on his feet anymore. He is the opposite of a cat. He just lands on his head.

Carmelo Anthony should be the coach for the next Olympic team

Melo should be the coach in next Olympics. Melo literally called a play for Kevin Durant from the far sideline. He was like clear out, clear out. It was when Kevin Durant had the sauce.

The NFL shouldn't punish Jim Harbaugh for NCAA violations at Michigan

It makes no sense though, to punish somebody at a new job for something they did at their old job. [The NFL shouldn't punish Jim Harbaugh for NCAA violations].

McDonald's French fries are definitively yellow

McDonald's French fries are yellow. If you were to give a little kid an outline of French fries and told him to color it, they would get the yellow crayon to color it. Thank you, Hank.

Punting on 4th and 14 against the Lions in the 2023 playoffs was a mistake

I look at it and I'm being dead ass serious about this too. Some of the red zone sequencing... But that stings and and I'll tell you why. And I'm not afraid to admit I would do that differently. I would've called probably the sequence leading up to that differently. Whether it works out or goes down the way we want, I don't know. But I think to take the ball outta Matthew [Stafford's] hands and to then sit there... shame on me for that.

Caleb Williams having a fat ass is good for his power as a quarterback

Caleb Williams has aura. He's also got a fucking fat ass, which is good because that's the power to drive the football down the field. I want my quarterback to have a big ass drives the ball.

Everyone outside of Chicago is hoping and wishing that Caleb Williams is a monumental bust

Everyone outside of Chicago is saying the [Caleb Williams] gonna be a monumental bust... A lot of people are hoping for Caleb Williams to be a bust and wishing for Caleb Williams to be a bust, including Hank.

Nick Saban does not have a great track record for developing quarterbacks

Nick Saban not a great track record when developing quarterbacks. He's not a QB whisperer. They were just like showing Nick Saban as like this wise, like tell all Coach, which he is. But if you were to say one thing about Nick Saban it, that he is not like a quarterback whisperer.

Using Peyton Manning's bad rookie year to justify other rookie QBs struggling is dumb logic

To see Nick Saban use that same dumb logic was awesome. Every single person has been using that since Peyton Manning being like, if you a rookie sucks. You're like, well, Peyton Manning sucked.

Stadiums only release 'epic' food items to get social media impressions, not because people actually eat them

I'm convinced that teams do this just to get impressions on social media. I don't think that many people actually order them, but they're looking for the next like epic meal that is sold at a stadium. Right? And so they released a candy, was it cotton candy stuffed burrito where it was like just filling... and nobody's actually gonna eat that. Right? No one's gonna order it.

Noah Lyles has every right to brag about being the fastest man on Earth after winning Olympic gold

She had a take, can you really brag about being the fastest person on earth if you win a race by 0.005 seconds?... I think [Noah Lyles] can if you win the gold medal.

Following porn stars at 8 AM is way too early to be that horny

[Kyle Kuzma] waking up this morning... Kyle Kuzma is now following Ms. Thick Overload... that's a brutal one though... that's also way too early in the morning to be that horny... 8:00 AM to be following Ms. Thick Overload.

Lauri Markkanen is not worth $200 million

They just gave Lauri Markkanen a five year, 200 plus million dollar contract... He's not worth that much money. I'd pay him 35 [million].

Mick Foley (Mankind) is the toughest person ever

I'm gonna go with Mankind, Mick Foley, toughest dude ever fucking going. When he got slammed on a bed of tacks from Undertaker from the top of the Hell in a Cell... he is literally the toughest.

Raider DNA is genetic and cannot be converted to

It's genetic. So you have it. It's either you got it or you don't. You what I mean's no Raiders conversion... sometimes I know we're in California right now, so you can Very Hollywood around. I was waiting for your blink. I saw a little twitching in the eyebrow [at the hosts].

The 2007 Patriots were likely the best team of all time despite their Super Bowl loss

Man, listen, we just went toe to toe with probably the best team of all time. And I still think probably the best team of all time, regardless that they didn't win the Super Bowl.

You only need grit when you are competing, not 24/7

I think it's all about where you are... If you are between the lines in the Galen Center, you gotta have grit, you know, and then maybe tonight at the Manhattan Beach Pier, you don't really need the grit know. And so it's a, it's all about your environment and where you're at at the time. You know, but you don't need grit 24 7. Right. You just need it when you're competing.

A basketball roster needs exactly three moxie guys and the rest grit guys to win

I don't think you can have a lot of moxie guys. Okay. So I would say moxie guys three. Okay. Right. And the rest grit. Yeah. And then you're gonna win. I think that's right because If you have too many moxie guys. Everyone, there's only one ball.

The Chargers' new training facility is worth at least five wins per season

Chargers training camp was awesome today... I think that building is worth five wins at least just on building alone for the Chargers.

Noah Lyles' 100m gold medal win officially puts him on the Mount Rushmore of track and field

Noah Lyles... won the 100 meters... I'm envisioning myself returning home as a gold medalist and that puts me on Mount Rushmore.

Djokovic is the undisputed GOAT of tennis after winning Olympic gold

Djokovic is the goat. One gold big deal. On Clay beating Nadal. Beat, beat the whole country of Spain.

The 4x100m relay is the one Olympic event Team USA should always dominate

I feel like for as long as I've been an adult person watching the Olympics, we always dominate the four by 100... that's our thing, that we should dominate that. It's sad to see [the loss].

Any NFL Top 100 list that doesn't have Patrick Mahomes at number one is insane

Tyreek Hill was named number one NFL player... And Patrick Mahomes is number four... I don't understand this list... You can't have a top 100 list of NFL players and not have Patrick Mahomes number one. Correct. Right now Mahomes should be number one.

Team USA failing to medal in 3x3 basketball is a national disgrace

Our three on three basketball team got eliminated. Didn't medal... Disgraceful so bad... I don't even know. How the fuck is this possible? Also, why don't we just send our, why isn't Jalen Brown in three and three?

Nothing makes you feel more like a man than winning an away game in terrible weather

To overcome an opponent, overcome them in their stadium and to overcome them in their stadium with the elements, then I would say Yeah. There's nothing that would make you feel more like a man than that.

Joe Hortiz is the best talent evaluator in football

Joe Hortiz, my brother said, I would love Joe... He undersold it, he undersold it. I, I, I, he's the one of the best evaluators in the game. I don't think there's anybody better after going through this off season in draft with Joe Hortiz.

I admit I was dead wrong about chickens being a nervous bird that shouldn't be eaten

Getting chickens? Raising chickens from chicks... I was eating a chicken something... and he [Brian Jennings] goes, yeah, he really shouldn't eat chicken. And then he, he, he was the one who explained to me that chicken chickens were a nervous bird... I maintained that... I went back. I was wrong. We're good. I was wrong. I, I think I, I was dead wrong.

Attacking each day with enthusiasm unknown to mankind is the 'SpongeBob' way of life

When you talk about attacking each day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. Yeah, that's SpongeBob. And it's unknown to mankind, you know? It's not of mankind. It's sponge.

Success in the NFL is 100% about having the best players; coaching is secondary

It's only because you have good players. I mean, there is no good coaches with bad players. I mean, it's all about the players... you gotta coach 'em better, or you gotta [acquire] better players... you can't be a good coach without great players.

My plan is still to coach football and then die

All you cared about was, I wanna play football for as long as I can play football, then coach football, then die. Has there been any change in that? [Harbaugh:] No. Still on track. Still on track. God willing and the, and the creek don't rises. You know, we're, we're on track. That's it.

I wish I were still young enough to have wet dreams because they were like awesome virtual reality

Having a wet dream... I wish those rocked. It was basically virtual reality and it was awesome. But you can't do it anymore... I haven't had a wet dream since I was 12 years old.

It is unpatriotic to take the under on the NFL Hall of Fame game

So great to hear the music. So great to bet the over, which I'm probably gonna lose, but I'm gonna take it anyways because it's unpatriotic to take the under on the Hall of Fame game.

Roger Goodell's push for guardian caps is a calculated move to blame players for safety issues later when the league pushes for a 19-game season

I think Roger Goodell was like, tell you what, in the effort of player safety, I will allow you to wear a giant helmet that makes you look like a clown. And no one's gonna do it. And then Roger Goodell could be like, oh, I gave them the option of wearing the big red clown nose on their face. But they chose not to do it. I guess they don't care about player safety. Let's do 19 games.

Jordan Love deserves every dollar of the massive contract extension he received from the Packers

Jordan Love got paid and he made a lot of money and Tua got paid. He made a lot of money... [Jordan Love] deserves every dollar that he got.

Joel Embiid is still a top three player on Team USA

He's still the top three player on this team. Steve Kerr has said that himself. Sometimes there's matchup things and guys who don't know Ball are going to try and criticize Joelle Embiid... he's gonna drop 30 against Puerto Rico.

Simone Biles is such a great athlete that she could probably dunk on a regulation 10-foot rim

Our gymnastics team dominated again. Simone Biles is the GOAT... I think KD even said that she thinks, he thinks that Simone Biles could take an Alley-OOP, like she could dunk on a 10 foot rim.

Imane Khelif should be allowed to compete in women's boxing despite the testosterone controversy

From my limited reading, she was born a female and identify as a female. Just because she has some extra testosterone doesn't mean she shouldn't be fighting other females.