Takes

I can win the Internet Invitational golf tournament

I shot a 44 on the front today. I'm telling you guys, I think I can win the Internet Invitational. I think I can.

I am 'pre-sad' for Bills fans because they won't win the Super Bowl despite their hope

I'm pre-sad because it, it is just, it's kind of, it's great to watch Bills fans. I love Bills fans... But the belief and the hope that they have, like, this is our year. We're finally gonna get done... I'm pretty sad for them. Yeah. And I hope that I'm wrong. I I hope that I'm wrong, but I am pre-sad.

Roger Goodell is banning smelling salts now just to trade them back for an 18th game in the next CBA

You know what Goodell's probably doing, this is probably one of those things where he is getting ready for the next CBA already... He's taking away smelling salts and then he is gonna say, I'll give you back smelling salts if you play an 18th game.

The NFL owning a 10% stake in ESPN will make it much harder for other media companies to interview players

I'm glad that florio's all over this, but I, I don't know what differences we're gonna see, but I do think that the NFL is going to make it way less likely for other media companies to conduct interviews with NFL players.

The NCAA voting not to expand the tournament is just a way to move the Overton window for next year

They're, they put this out there being like, Hey, we're not gonna do it. Knowing that now it's, it's they moved the Overton window. Where now we're talking about the expansion and next year they're probably gonna let it in.

Baker Mayfield will be the #1 player in the NFL Top 100 next year

Baker Mayfield has made it to num number 50 spot on the NFL top 100 list... I not being on the list. So math tells me next year he's number one.

The Giants' pass rush will be one of the best units in all of the NFL

I think their defense would be really good... I think their pass rush should be one of the best units in all of the NFL.

The Chargers will finish third in the AFC West but still make the playoffs

I think Jim Harbaugh is amazing. Yeah. So they'll probably win a bunch. I think they're probably gonna make the playoffs... I think they're, they are going to be third place in the division and like beat teams. They shouldn't or should whatever. And then, and then still like the Broncos... are too good.

I'm picking the Packers to win the NFC North this year

I think the Packers are very good. I'm picking the Packers team. Yeah. I, but I think the Bears can make the playoffs.

The Broncos have one of the five best rosters in football and are Super Bowl contenders

I think the Broncos are, are amazing. Like they, they have one of the five best rosters in football... I think they're Super Bowl contenders... They're a division contender.

The Saints will be the worst team in the NFL this season

It's the Saints. Saints probably. I just don't see a path to them winning... If they get the first overall pick, it's gonna be accidental. They're not gonna, they're, they're gonna try to win games into December... But they are by far the worst.

Aaron Rodgers will be better than people think this year because he has a chip on his shoulder

I think Rogers is gonna be better than people think... I think he's got the sufficient chip on his shoulder again, where it's like everyone was, was like, this guy should retire. He stinks.

The Ravens will beat the Rams in the Super Bowl

I've been saying all off season it's gonna be Ravens-Rams. Ravens beat the Rams. My concern is Matthew Stafford's back... If Stafford's back isn't healthy, I would go with the Eagles.

The Miami Hurricanes will finish the regular season with only two losses

Two losses. So they open with Notre Dame, then they have Florida on the, the third or fourth week of the season... They'll split those. And then they got the Acc... Two November games on the road at Pitt and at Virginia Tech... I could see that being the second loss.

If the Eagles lose Week 1, Nick Sirianni will immediately be on the hot seat in Philly

If we somehow, somehow lose the first game of the season, it is up for Nick Sirianni. It is up... They're gonna call in to WIP... It's gonna spark like a wildfire. He is a bum. This guy's a fraud.

ESPN will eventually ruin NFL RedZone by adding commercials

There's a decent chance that ESPN fucks us up. ... They won't fuck it up right away because they know people will be upset but they'll eventually fuck it up and they'll slip in some things. ... I don't think they're gonna have commercials right away, but I think that they're gonna have like very intrusive onscreen commercials during the actual play. And I think they're gonna eventually get to commercials.

The Miami Marlins might sneak into the MLB playoffs

The Miami Marlins... might sneak away into the playoffs. They're six games out of the Wild Card. I don't know, fun story going on in Miami.

Hurdling defenders is still in my future as a runner

Only person who I can say was really mad about the hurdle or any hurdles I've ever done is my mama. My mama don't like when I leave my feet. But I think hurtling is in my future again.

I am 111% confident that the Commanders will get a contract extension done with Terry McLaurin.

[The 110% confidence] went up better today. [It's at] 111. The request of a trade actually got me more confident that it's gonna be done. It makes me want more. That's probably what he is doing.

The Super Bowl window for the Commanders is officially closed if Terry McLaurin is traded.

Terry is the perfect teammate. He's an awesome guy, great football player. His numbers last year were incredible. You need him. If you want to be inside the Super Bowl, if, if Terry's not on the team, I think I might have to exclude this year from the Super Bowl window. 'cause we're in the window. I'm not thinking soupy, I'm not saying we're going to the win Super Bowl. You're in the, but we're in the window. If he's not on the team, I, this is not a window year.

We will remain bold on fourth down regardless of game situation or defensive improvements.

We'll be bold still. Like that's who we are. That's how we get down. And you know, kind of referencing, you know, Jayden and Cliff and situations... We're confident with the people that we have that if that's how we want to get down, then like we're ready to do that... There's a boldness with it, but it, you do have to grow in it.

The electric playstyle of my 2021 season is still there and will be seen this year.

When you got your 20, 21 year was insane. That was like the, you know, peak deebo. Is that guy still there? A hundred percent. Is it, is it gonna be this year? Hope so.

I'm optimistic the Commanders will get a deal done with Terry McLaurin

I got a chance to talk to Adam Peters today for a little bit... I'm optimistic things get done. I did my best. I tried to negotiate with Adam... mainly devolved into me telling him how good Jayden was.

Jako Croskey-Merritt is going to be awesome.

I think the Commanders' rookie running back Jako Croskey-Merritt—he goes by the name Bill, which is pretty cool—Bill is gonna be fucking awesome. Six round pick... He is smooth as fuck... That dude is gonna be good. Adam Peters did tell me like he might be the guy.

Joe Flacco will start the regular season for the Cleveland Browns

Right now I have [Joe] Flacco number one again on my Cleveland Browns' quarterbacks. I think, I think Flacco starts a regular season.

Inside the NBA at ESPN will struggle to maintain its magic if they cut it for SportsCenter

The number one time on our show is after the game. You get like 4 to 5 minutes to shoot the shit. That's the magic. But me and Ernie have talked about it... Are they gonna say 'No guys, y'all got 15 minutes. We gotta go to SportsCenter'?

The Eagles will be really good because they have the best GM in the NFL

Well, they're gonna be really good... Howie Roseman's probably the best GM in the NFL now. They gonna be good.

Pardon My Take will continue until one of the hosts develops a debilitating drug habit

I forget if it was you who said it or or or me, but we said that this podcast will go until one of us develops a debilitating drug habit.

LeBron James and Chris Paul will have a 'retirement off' to ensure they don't retire in the same year

I don't think LeBron wants to retire the same time as Chris Paul. I think they might. I think it might be a retirement off... It's gonna be like, who's gonna retire first? The other person stay an extra year just 'cause they didn't wanna retire the same year as that guy.

There is a better chance of Terry McLaurin playing for the Patriots than Ben Simmons playing for the Celtics

I trust Brad Stevens. I don't think this is gonna happen. I think there's a better chance Terry McLaurin plays for the Patriots than Ben Simmons plays with the Celtics.

Terry McLaurin will settle for a contract of $28 million per year with $53 million guaranteed

I think he'll settle for like 28. That's my official prediction. 28, 3 years. 28 per year... We're going to do 53 million guaranteed. That gets it done.

Mike Vrabel will immediately set a no-nonsense tone as a consultant for the Patriots

Vrabel is back and it's no longer the Jerod Mayo. Did you guys see this clip of Mike Vrabel... He's a boss. He's just gonna be a boss. That's a tone set. That's a man that has teenage sons at home.

Twitch streamer Stable Ronaldo will go insane trying to beat Elden Ring in a padded room

He has locked himself in a padded room... Doesn't know what time it is until he completes Elden Ring... He's setting a pace for, for maybe insanity.

Dustin Poirier will not stay retired and will fight again

I never believe it. Because then they, you know, they, they get arrested, they get healthy and they're like, ah, I could, I could do one more fight. I could make, you know, a nice payday doing another fight.

Jordan Hudson is going to take UNC football to new heights

Jordan Belichick. Classic Game Queen. Gonna take UNC football to new heights. Oh my God. She is, she is a shining star.

The tush push will be banned in the NFL by 2026

My Preemptive Take of the Year. In the year 2026. It will be. So the back half of the next year's Takies, the tush push will be banned. I'm not saying I want it to be. But that is my preemptive take. I'm staking my reputation on, I think it will be banned. I think that more teams will start complaining. And I think that the NFL wants it banned.

Shedeur Sanders will step in for an injured Joe Flacco and lead the Cleveland Browns to a wild card playoff spot

My preemptive Take of the Year. Shedeur Sanders. It's going to lead the Cleveland Browns to a wild card spot and make the playoffs. Maybe an injury. I think after like week four [Joe Flacco's] not gonna start. Something's gonna happen. Maybe Flacco gets injured, [Shedeur] steps in, leads them to glory.

The Philadelphia 76ers will make it to the Eastern Conference Finals

I have a new preemptive take. This is a hot take. All right. The Philadelphia 76ers will make it to the Eastern Conference finals. Whoa. Now that is that not crazy? That's, I mean we just, here it is. That Joel and the opposite of chalk.

Nikola Jokic will force a trade from Denver to the Chicago Bulls because of the large Serbian population in Chicago

I think Nikola Jokic is gonna force a trade out of Denver at the end of the season to the Chicago Bulls. Whoa. Number one Serbia population in America. Wow. That's just a wild one.

Jayden Daniels will finish as the worst quarterback of the 2024 draft class in the upcoming 2025 season

The Washington Commanders are gonna miss the playoffs. Jayden Daniels [will] finish dead last out of the 2024 QBs in that draft class.

Joel Embiid will win the NBA MVP award next season

I will be saying that Joel Embiid will be winning the MVP. I'm going back to my original idea. It's like when you're in school and you're taking a test, you only gotta go with your gut. And my gut said that Joel Embiid is gonna win MVP this year. And I'm sticking with Joel Embiid will win the MVP.

Jayden Daniels will defy the sophomore slump and have a fantastic 2025 season

I do have a lot of fun watching Jayden Daniels play football and I think that he's gonna defy the sophomore slump and have a fantastic season.

Omarion Hampton will win the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year award

I said Gus Edwards lead the league in rushing touchdowns [last year]. And I couldn't have been more wrong, so I'm gonna go Omarion Hampton Offensive Rookie of the year.

If I win the Open Championship this weekend, I will officially take the Blake of the Year title from Blake Griffin

I'm not dead. I've never wanted to win a golf tournament so bad. [The deal is] if I win the Open Championship this weekend, I officially get [Blake Griffin's] Blake of the Year title this year. Verbatim. That's what it'll be.

James Wood will be the future face of the MLB

James Wood... many are saying [he is the] future face of this league.

I 125% guarantee Terry McLaurin stays with the Commanders and I will bet my El Camino on it

Terry's coming. Terry's coming. One hundred ten percent. I put my credibility on the line... 125% guarantee it's gonna get done. Max, I'll give you my El Camino if Terry McLaurin goes somewhere else.

LeBron James will not be playing for the Lakers next season

I don't think LeBron's playing for the Lakers next year... It also makes sense because they have [Anthony Davis], they have to start building the team around [Davis].

I will donate and shave my hair if I win a Super Bowl

I would be thrilled to cut my hair [if I won a Super Bowl]. I'll match. If you do it, I'll match. We all cut our hair. All three of you?... We're circling back to that. I'm interested. I would be thrilled to cut my hair.

The Oklahoma City Thunder will keep drafting role players and only pay their three stars

I think what [the Thunder's] plan is, and it might work, is that they have so many draft picks. They'll just keep drafting and not paying those guys and then pay their three guys. And hope the role players like, hey, you're gonna, you're gonna play well if you get drafted, get paid very little money. But you get to play with three really good players.

The next season of Always Sunny in Philadelphia will be the funniest one in a decade

I think that this season that's coming out today or tomorrow is the funniest season, maybe the funniest season we've ever done. That's a pretty high bar, but definitely the funniest of the last like, decade.