PMT DB
PMT DB
Lawrence Tynes on Eli's Playoff Magic and Kicking in the Cold
Big Cat and PFT are back from the holiday break, and the energy is high as the NFL playoffs loom. Between Larry the Goldfish nearly winning the Westgate Super Contest and the guys officially declaring the start of Jumpsuit January, there was plenty of ground to cover. The AFC playoff picture is looking like a total disaster area, which is essentially a red carpet for the guys in Foxborough.
Big CatThe Patriots will walk right to the Super Bowl
The AFC playoff picture is awful. The Patriots are going to walk right to the Super Bowl.
PFT pointed out that this isn't exactly a new phenomenon. While the NFC is a gauntlet of legitimate contenders, the AFC has spent the better part of a decade being a doorstep for one specific dynasty.
PFT CommenterThe AFC has been bad for forever
People don't talk about how bad the AFC has been like forever. The Patriots have basically just had to show up every Sunday for the last 12 years, and they'll make it into one every three Super Bowls.
Football Guys and Fake News
Nick Saban is back in the National Championship, and he’s using some questionable motivational tactics to get there. Alabama apparently posted fake quotes from the media on their bulletin board to convince the most talented roster in history that nobody believed in them. PFT sees a dark inspiration behind the strategy.
PFT CommenterNick Saban is using Hitler-style propaganda to motivate Alabama
This is actually a real technique that Hitler used. To just make up fake news and pretend that you're oppressed. It's called propaganda. Saban's Goebbels. So you're in charge of thinking of all these bad things to say about Alabama.
The coaching carousel is also spinning, with Chip Kelly’s name surfacing for every opening from the NFL to the SEC. While some think he’s headed for a specific coordinator role, the logistics of him working with a guy like Coach O are almost too good to be true.
PFT CommenterChip Kelly will be the offensive coordinator for LSU
I'm just going to put this out here. Chip Kelly to LSU. Offense coordinator? I'm just saying, Chip Kelly to LSU, even though him and Coach O, they don't speak the same language.
Lawrence Tynes and the Art of the Kick
Former Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes joined the show to look ahead to the Giants-Packers wild card matchup. Having lived through the legendary frozen NFC Championship game at Lambeau, Tynes shared what it’s actually like to play in that weather, including the fact that kickers have to be careful not to melt their cleats on the heated benches.
When the conversation shifted to the current Giants squad, Tynes offered a bold assessment of the unit currently carrying the G-Men.
Lawrence TynesThe 2016 Giants defense might be better than the two Super Bowl winning defenses
I will say that the [2016] defense might be a little bit better than our two Super Bowl defenses.
Tynes also spent six years with his locker next to Eli Manning, giving him a front-row seat to the most enigmatic quarterback in the league. Despite the occasional "wrong-handed" throw, Tynes isn't betting against the two-time MVP when the lights get bright.
Lawrence TynesI will take Eli Manning over any other quarterback in the playoffs
Eli [Manning] just lets it go, man. He is not afraid in the playoffs, and I think that's something that serves him well. I'll take Eli over any of them.
He also took a moment to air out one of his biggest pet peeves: college kickers who try to look like position players. To Tynes, the accessories are a sign of a guy who isn't focused on the one job he has to do.
Lawrence TynesCollege kickers who wear towels on their hips are soft
You know another thing that pisses me off is when you watch these college guys and they have shields and sweet towel. They have a towel hanging off their hip like they're about to go take a center snap. You're a fucking kicker. Like kick the ball. No one cares what you look like.
Before letting him go, Tynes even helped the guys pull off a surprise phone call to Justin Tuck, who weighed in on the Giants' defense and confirmed that former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle was indeed a "big creep."
Stay Woke and Jumpsuit January
In a massive Stay Woke segment, PFT connected the dots on the Bill Belichick coaching tree. It’s not just that his assistants fail elsewhere; it’s that they specifically go to AFC rivals and burn the building down on their way out, effectively clearing the path for the Patriots every single season.
PFT CommenterBill Belichick sends his assistants to AFC teams specifically to destroy them from within
Every single Belichick assistant that has spun off into a head coach or front office guy at another team has gone to work in the AFC, and they've systematically destroyed that team that they've gone to and made it an easier schedule for the Patriots. McDaniels just completely destroyed Denver. Pioli and company went to the Chiefs. Bill O'Brien... Texans stink. Saban fucked up the Dolphins too.
Finally, the guys addressed the health of some coaching legends. While Coach K is stepping away for back surgery, PFT isn't convinced it's a valid reason to stop coaching.
PFT CommenterCoach K isn't actually hurt because you coach with your spine, not your back
Hurt or injured, Coach K? I'd say neither. You don't coach with your back. You coach with your spine. And I know that sounds counterintuitive. It's like you coach with your spine, bro. Do you really need to have a functional back to coach? He could just lay down. Larry Bird did it.
As the show wrapped, Big Cat and PFT reminded everyone that January is the worst month of the year, and the only way to survive it is through the comfort and misplaced confidence of a full-body fleece garment.
If you see a man in a jumpsuit on a Tuesday afternoon, just know he’s better than you.
