PMT DB
PMT DB
Carlos Boozer on Bulls, Prince, and MJvsLebron.net
The episode kicks off with the legend of Blake Bortles growing to new heights. Our favorite Wikipedia club leader recently made a citizen's arrest in Jacksonville after catching a teenager rummaging through his truck. While some people questioned why the BOAT left his wallet and keys inside an unlocked vehicle, Big Cat and PFT are firmly against victim blaming. As PFT pointed out, being kidnapped by Blake Bortles and forced to play Madden while he offers you a pizza sounds more like a vacation than a crime.
The Eastern Conference Finals and Hockey Heat
With the Sixers officially processed and the Celtics moving on, Hank is feeling himself. He’s already envisioning a world where Boston serves as the bookends for LeBron's career, sending him packing just like they did in 2010. Hank is leaning heavily into the Brad Stevens factor, believing the coaching mismatch is enough to overcome the best player on the planet.
HankThe Celtics have a 60% chance of beating LeBron James and running him out of Cleveland for the second time.
I said it when the Celtics signed Kyrie that if they can run LeBron out of Cleveland in the beginning of his career and then run it out at the end, it would be the sweetest thing in the world... I put the percentage at 60%.
Big Cat isn't quite as sold on the green team's magic. While the Celtics have been a great story, the reality of playoff LeBron is starting to set in.
Big CatThe Cavaliers will win the Eastern Conference Finals in six games.
I think it's going to be 4-1. Cavs in six. Gentlemen sweep in six. I think the Celtics will win one of the first two. I think they'll win game five, and then they will lose in Cleveland in game six. That is my prediction.
Over on the ice, the guys are looking at a potential Stanley Cup Final that might make the league office a little uneasy. The Winnipeg Jets and Tampa Bay Lightning are looming, and PFT can already hear the TV executives panicking over the ratings.
PFT CommenterA Winnipeg vs. Tampa Bay Stanley Cup Final would be the NHL's worst nightmare for ratings.
That sound you hear is Gary Bettman shitting his pants in anticipation of a Winnipeg-Tampa Stanley Cup Finals.
Then there's the Vegas Golden Knights, who continue to ruin the curve for every expansion team in history. Big Cat thinks their success is actually a bit of an embarrassment for the sport's competitive integrity.
Big CatThe Vegas Golden Knights being successful as an expansion team makes the NHL look like a 'rinky-dink' league.
I think if you're a true blue hockey guy... you kind of got to root against Vegas because this makes them a little bit of a rinky-dink league if an expansion team can come in and just steal the show.
Solving the GOAT Debate Forever
Big Cat and PFT have finally created the ultimate solution for the most exhausting debate in sports: MJvsLebron.net. It’s a high-tech algorithm—which definitely isn't just a random generator designed to mock the entire premise—that provides a definitive winner for every hypothetical. Whether it's MJ wearing acid-washed cargo jeans versus LeBron on a banana boat, or a goat literally named Michael Jordan with a gambling problem, the site has the answers. The goal is to funnel every single MJ vs. LeBron debate into this one site and then eventually fire the entire domain into the Pacific Ocean so we never have to hear about it again.
Carlos Boozer Joins the Show
Former All-Star and Duke legend Carlos Boozer stopped by to talk about his career and his upcoming stint in the Big 3. He cleared the air on some of his most famous internet moments, including the time he accidentally punched referee Danny Crawford in the family jewels during an "And-1" celebration. He also walked through the infamous Beijing hair dye incident, admitting he tried to shampoo his head seven times in the shower before a nationally televised game against the Celtics, only to have Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce roast him for four straight quarters.
Boozer got serious when discussing the Tom Thibodeau era in Chicago. While the Bulls were a regular-season juggernaut, the physical toll of Tibbs’ coaching style was undeniable.
Carlos BoozerTom Thibodeau's high-intensity practices and heavy minutes took a physical toll on the Bulls' stars.
I think, unfortunately, it ended up taking a toll on us... You've got a guy like D. Rose playing 42 minutes a night. He's also practicing three hours a day... I think there has to be this balance between preparation and game.
He remains convinced that if Derrick Rose hadn't gone down in the 2012 playoffs, the Bulls were destined to lift the trophy.
Carlos BoozerThe Chicago Bulls would have won the 2012 NBA Championship if Derrick Rose hadn't gotten injured.
If D. Rose doesn't get hurt, I think we break through that year... We had a roster where we could play. I think we were like the number one or two defensive team in the league. We were top five in offense. I mean, we were a very complete team that year. And then, boom, Derrick Rose gets hurt. And it just... It took the air out of the balloon for us, you know what I mean? Because we all thought that was our year to win the whole thing.
Perhaps the wildest story involved Prince renting Boozer’s Bel Air mansion. Boozer returned home during an injury rehab stint to find that the Purple One had literally replaced the front gate lions with his own symbol, changed every piece of furniture to purple and black, and converted the weight room into a nightclub with a disco ball. Prince eventually wired him $500,000 just to "ease his mind" about the renovations.
Stay Woke and Take Quakes
PFT has a new theory involving Marlins Man and the Oval Office. After seeing the orange-clad legend sitting next to Rudy Giuliani at a Yankees game, PFT is convinced a legal team-up is in the works.
PFT CommenterMarlins Man is likely joining Donald Trump's legal defense team because top firms are rejecting him.
My theory is that I think that Lawrence Levy, Marlins Man, is joining the Donald Trump dream team because Trump can't get any more lawyers to represent him. He's been rejected by like five or six of the top law firms. Marlins Man's probably number seven or number eight. And if I was in a tough spot and I needed somebody on my side to just like harass my opponent until they got so annoyed... I'm going to Marlins Man probably first.
Finally, Big Cat took aim at some truly bottom-tier sports journalism. First, he called out Darren Rovell for trying to ruin Marvin Jones Jr.'s joy of opening a cupcake shop by lecturing him on franchise disclosure documents.
Big CatDarren Rovell is a 'Debbie Downer' for analyzing athlete business ventures like Marvin Jones Jr.'s cupcake shop.
Darren Rovell from the rafters telling him that the most important part about opening a franchise is to understand that franchisor fees come off gross sales, not net sales... and basically shits all over Marvin Jones Jr.'s dream and tells him that he made a terrible investment... He is Debbie Downer in real life. What a fucking asshole.
Then, he handed out a Take Quake to Steve Rosenblum of the Chicago Tribune for a column that managed to blame Roquan Smith for being the victim of a car robbery while simultaneously questioning how he could afford a BMW.
Big CatSteve Rosenblum's column blaming Roquan Smith for getting his car robbed is a nonsensical 'Take Quake'.
Steve Rosenblum, who is provocateur, the Chicago Tribune... likes to just figure out the most nonsensical take out there... the premise of his article was Roquan Smith, who had his iPad stolen... it was his fault that he got robbed... at this point you could ask how a student athlete... is able to afford a 2018 Beamer... Steve Rosenblum... did no fact checking whatsoever and wrote this hot topic.
Be sure to check out the new website and remember: it's still not Kobe.
