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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A Winnipeg vs. Tampa Bay Stanley Cup Final would be the NHL's worst nightmare for ratings.

That sound you hear is Gary Bettman shitting his pants in anticipation of a Winnipeg-Tampa Stanley Cup Finals.

The 2018 Finals ended up being Vegas vs. Washington, so the NHL avoided this specific 'nightmare' scenario.

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Loss
May 11, 2018
#11642
HankHank

The Celtics have a 60% chance of beating LeBron James and running him out of Cleveland for the second time.

I said it when the Celtics signed Kyrie that if they can run LeBron out of Cleveland in the beginning of his career and then run it out at the end, it would be the sweetest thing in the world... I put the percentage at 60%.

The Cavaliers defeated the Celtics in 7 games to win the ECF.
Push
May 11, 2018
#11643
Big CatBig Cat

The Cavaliers will win the Eastern Conference Finals in six games.

I think it's going to be 4-1. Cavs in six. Gentlemen sweep in six. I think the Celtics will win one of the first two. I think they'll win game five, and then they will lose in Cleveland in game six. That is my prediction.

The series went to 7 games, so Big Cat was wrong about the duration, though right about the winner.
Void
May 11, 2018
#23611
Big CatBig Cat

The Vegas Golden Knights being successful as an expansion team makes the NHL look like a 'rinky-dink' league.

I think if you're a true blue hockey guy... you kind of got to root against Vegas because this makes them a little bit of a rinky-dink league if an expansion team can come in and just steal the show.

Vegas reached the Stanley Cup Final in their first year, which did lead to widespread debate about the league's competitive balance.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.