CFB Preview With Andy Staples, Mt Rushmore Of Ass Kickings, Shohei Hurt And Barstool 20th Anniversary Awards

Shohei Ohtani will sign with the Mets and fail to live up to his contract

[Ohtani] goes to the Mets and then does not live up to the contract. It would be very funny though if the Mets signed him and then he just pulled a deGrom and just like every year in June, had to get shut down.

Shohei Ohtani should become the best closer in baseball history

Why doesn't Shohei Ohtani become the best closer in the game? I was thinking about that. I went up, looked up Smoltz's history. He was a great pitcher for the Braves. Moved into the closing role and then dominated for a few years, then came back and started. He would be a lights out closer. Imagine if he was just like ding every day and then closing games. That would rule.

Corey Davis only 'stepped away' from football because he was about to get cut

It probably means you can't fire me. I quit. Because you might not have made the roster. I feel like you don't step away if you're gonna make the roster. Right. But then the minute you see like, oh I might not, I might get cut here. Knowing that it seems like he might've been on the bubble. Even with the 10 million. It's a great move by him. Like 'I never got cut.'

If the Eagles trade for Jonathan Taylor, they will easily win the Super Bowl

If the Eagles get Jonathan Taylor on top of everything that they have already. Easy Super Bowl. Yeah. Easy. Not a doubt in my mind.

Garrett Wilson will have 2,000 receiving yards in 2023

Garrett Wilson. 2,000 yards this year. Easy. 2,000. Easy.

Penn State is a legitimate national title contender in 2023

Penn State is loaded with freaky talent this year. Like they could really be a Big 10 title contender. And if you're a Big 10 title contender, it means you could actually be a national title contender. So, you know, it's, it's, it's gonna be very strange. Like that one's gonna be wild.

Texas will fail to win 10 games and miss out on a Big 12 title

Texas is gonna be favored to win the Big 12... But I've seen too many times. I need to see them win these games before I can believe. And so like, their total is nine and a half. I picked the under and everybody went nuts. Until we see them do that with the games that they should win, where they are more talented than the opponent. I, I, I can't believe yet.

Kentucky is a dark horse to surprise the SEC in 2023

Kentucky seems to have fixed a lot of the things that caused problems last year... They've got Devin Leary now... They could be quite a bit better. That's one that if you're Tennessee, if you're Florida, if you're South Carolina, you're worried about them right being considerably better than they were last year.

Michigan is the best-positioned team to win the national championship in 2023

Michigan, this is the best chance Michigan has to win a national championship. It feels like this is the culmination of everything Harbaugh's built... Michigan is loaded with NFL talent. Jim Harbaugh told my friend Bruce Feldman, he thinks 20 guys are gonna get drafted off this roster. I don't think Michigan beating Ohio State the last two years is a fluke. No. I need to see Ohio State beat them to prove that they can.

College Football Playoff prediction: Georgia, Michigan, Oregon, and Alabama

I'm gonna go Georgia, Michigan. I'm gonna go Oregon. I'm gonna say Oregon wins the Pac-12. First Pac-12 playoff participant since 2016. And then Alabama. Two Big 10 teams, two SEC teams essentially.

Notre Dame will cover -20.5 against Navy in Ireland

I kind of like Notre Dame to cover against Navy. And I realize it's 20 and a half. But I, I'm, I'm excited to see Sam Hartman in that Notre Dame offense. You have the buffer... hopefully they don't run out of beer like they did last time.

Donald Trump's 2016 Republican debate performance is a first-ballot Hall of Fame ass-kicking

The one that we, no one's gonna pick, but I do actually think it is a 1-1. It is Trump and the Republican debates. Trump versus all the other Republicans. He just fucking smoked him. He ended all their careers. Ted Cruz, your wife's ugly. Marco Rubio's got a small penis. He just great school bullied them all. It was a total ass kicking.