PMT DB
PMT DB
Andy Staples on CFB Preview, Mt. Rushmore of Ass Kickings, and Barstool Awards
The vibes are a mix of celebration and mourning as the show comes to you from Boston following the Barstool 20th Anniversary Awards. The joy of the ceremony was quickly dampened by the news that Shohei Ohtani has a torn UCL. Big Cat and PFT are genuinely bummed for the sport, even if they aren't quite as performatively nauseous as some baseball media members. While everyone assumes Ohtani's massive payday just took a hit, Big Cat thinks a simple role change could solve everything.
Big CatShohei Ohtani should become the best closer in baseball history
Why doesn't Shohei Ohtani become the best closer in the game? I was thinking about that. I went up, looked up Smoltz's history. He was a great pitcher for the Braves. Moved into the closing role and then dominated for a few years, then came back and started. He would be a lights out closer. Imagine if he was just like ding every day and then closing games. That would rule.
They also touched on the Jets' latest roster moves, specifically Corey Davis choosing to step away from the game. While the official line is personal reasons, Big Cat isn't buying the timing given the Jets' salary cap situation and Davis's place on the depth chart.
Big CatCorey Davis only 'stepped away' from football because he was about to get cut
It probably means you can't fire me. I quit. Because you might not have made the roster. I feel like you don't step away if you're gonna make the roster. Right. But then the minute you see like, oh I might not, I might get cut here. Knowing that it seems like he might've been on the bubble. Even with the 10 million. It's a great move by him. Like 'I never got cut.'
College Football Preview with Andy Staples
College football reporter Andy Staples joined the show to break down everything we need to know heading into Week Zero. The landscape is shifting with realignment on the horizon, but for one last year, we get the classic rivalries with an extra layer of salt. Staples thinks the Big 10 is more than just a two-horse race this season, specifically highlighting the talent in State College.
Andy StaplesPenn State is a legitimate national title contender in 2023
Penn State is loaded with freaky talent this year. Like they could really be a Big 10 title contender. And if you're a Big 10 title contender, it means you could actually be a national title contender.
Big Cat, ever the historian of the game, wonders if we might see a return to the classic "ground and pound" style in Tuscaloosa. With no clear superstar at quarterback for the first time in years, the recipe for Nick Saban seems to be leaning on the big uglies up front.
Big CatAlabama will have a throwback season relying on defense and the running game
Doesn't it feel like Nick Saban has the defense is gonna be very good. The offense line's gonna be very good. They're gonna run the ball down your throat. It might be a throwback Alabama type of year. Is this gonna be like a throwback Nick Saban... they're gonna zag now when everyone zigs with the spread it out.
As for the usual suspects, Staples isn't quite ready to buy into the Texas hype train just yet. Despite the Longhorns being the media darlings every preseason, he’s seen this movie too many times to expect a double-digit win season before they head off to the SEC.
Andy StaplesTexas will fail to win 10 games and miss out on a Big 12 title
Texas is gonna be favored to win the Big 12... But I've seen too many times. I need to see them win these games before I can believe. And so like, the total is nine and a half. I picked the under and everybody went nuts.
Before letting him go, Staples gave his official CFP picks and a Week Zero winner. He's high on the Irish in Dublin, mainly because of the new look under center.
Andy StaplesNotre Dame will cover -20.5 against Navy in Ireland
I kind of like Notre Dame to cover against Navy. And I realize it's 20 and a half. But I, I'm, I'm excited to see Sam Hartman in that Notre Dame offense.
Mount Rushmore of Ass Kickings
The guys closed out the week with a very diverse Mount Rushmore of Ass Kickings. This one covered everything from Secretariat’s 31-length victory at the Belmont Stakes to the 2000 US Open where Tiger Woods treated the field like a JV squad. However, Big Cat went off the board for a political performance that he considers the gold standard for bullying on a grand stage.
Big CatDonald Trump's 2016 Republican debate performance is a first-ballot Hall of Fame ass-kicking
The one that we, no one's gonna pick, but I do actually think it is a 1-1. It is Trump and the Republican debates. Trump versus all the other Republicans. He just fucking smoked him. He ended all their careers. Ted Cruz, your wife's ugly. Marco Rubio's got a small penis. He just great school bullied them all. It was a total ass kicking.
Other entries included the Seahawks' demolition of the Broncos in the Super Bowl and Georgia’s 65-7 drubbing of TCU. PFT also pointed out that Dabo Swinney might be the next person on the receiving end of a metaphorical ass kicking if he doesn't embrace the modern era of the sport.
PFT CommenterDabo Swinney is on the hot seat because of the NIL era
I would say yes. Hot seat for Dabo, by the way. Because in his own words, he said he would quit coaching college football if the players got paid. He put himself on the hot seat.
The show wrapped up with Fyre Fest of the week, featuring Hank losing his phone in a Lyft and PFT being exposed as a fraud on "Plane Twitter" after misidentifying a fighter jet at the Chicago Air and Water Show.
Hopefully, Shohei's left arm is as good as his right because the sport needs him.
