PMT DB
PMT DB
The Chiefs are back, allegedly. One week after everyone forgot how football works, Kansas City ran the ball down Denver's throat, Kenneth Walker looked like a human cheat code, and Patrick Mahomes got to spend the night being merely excellent instead of carrying the entire franchise on his back. The Broncos, meanwhile, missed 28 tackles and appeared to have misplaced several defensive backs.
The Chiefs Reopen Their Window
Big Cat and PFT agreed that the Chiefs' new run game is the important part, not just the final score. Mahomes is still working his way back, but handing the ball to Walker gives him an actual on-ramp instead of demanding Superman performances every Sunday. PFT had the perfect diagnosis for the dynasty's recent struggles:
PFT CommenterThe Chiefs' window never closed
I don't think we ever actually closed the Chiefs' window. I think Mahomes was just in bed because he was injured, far away from the window.
The conversation also produced the most aggressive Week 2 panic of the day. The Chargers are already staring at a schedule-shaped abyss, and Big Cat believes their matchup with the Raiders is somehow the most must-win game in NFL history.
Big CatThe Chargers' game against the Raiders is a must-win
The Chargers might have the most must-win game of all time playing the Raiders with the schedule they have. If they don't win this week, it's over.
Bo Nix did not look ready for the Arrowhead experience, Jalen Waddle caught approximately one pass, and Sean Payton's decision to hand play-calling duties to a younger coach is already being treated like a button he may need to slam. The Broncos' defense can recover. The vibes might need a much more involved medical procedure.
Texas Wins, Ohio State Chokes
The Texas-Ohio State game started with Arch Manning fumbling on the first play and then somehow became an Arch Manning comeback story. Texas ran the ball with authority in the second half, while Ohio State got conservative at exactly the moment it needed to finish the job. Big Cat was not interested in giving Ryan Day a participation trophy.
Big CatTexas won; Ohio State choked
I'll say Texas win, Ryan Day choke. The play calling, I don't know, maybe they got too conservative. I think they probably did.
Oklahoma State's demolition of Oregon was even more jarring. The Cowboys were 23.5-point underdogs, then spent the afternoon winning at the line of scrimmage and making Oregon look like the team that had just been ambushed. Eric Morris later explained that the whole response was intentionally simplified: play fast, play physical, and stop trying to fix every problem at once.
Oklahoma State physically dominated Oregon at the line
We physically dominated that game at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball.
PFT thinks Dan Lanning has not slept since the loss and may now be operating at dangerous levels of football insanity. Big Cat is already treating the upcoming USC game like Oregon's playoff obituary.
PFT CommenterThe Oregon loss could turn Dan Lanning into a psychopath
I don't think that Dan Lanning has slept since that loss. I think Dan Lanning has turned into an absolute psycho because of this loss. He's sick. It actually might be a dangerous thing for the rest of the Big Ten that Oregon lost that game.
Michigan, on the other hand, bounced back behind a defense that looks extremely real. Bryce Underwood was not asked to become a finished product overnight, but if he improves even a little, Big Cat thinks the Wolverines have the bones of a serious team.
Big CatMichigan is a real team if Bryce Underwood improves
Michigan's defense is fucking for real. And if they can figure out Bryce Underwood at all, if he can get a little bit better, that's a real team.
Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and the Future Economy
Hot Seat/Cool Throne had everything: Arch Manning learning that AI slapping videos should not be endorsed in a press conference, Sam Darnold suffering a mysterious deep-tissue glute injury, and LeBron James apparently becoming a powerboat racing impresario. The E1 boats were electric, airborne, and somehow less confusing than the Knicks traffic discussion.
PFT's Cool Throne was the return of the fullback. The number of NFL plays featuring fullbacks jumped, which was all the evidence required to declare the smashmouth renaissance underway. Somewhere, a Kyle Juszczyk highlight package just got renewed for another season.
PFT CommenterFullbacks are back and smashmouth football is returning
Fullbacks are back. Hell yeah. I think fullbacks are on the way back. We talk a little bit about it with Derek Carr about how running the football might be coming back a little bit in the NFL. I think smashmouth, hit-you-in-your-face football is coming back.
The AI portion escalated quickly from “should we be worried?” to “would you rather be nuked or live without power while the robots preserve electricity for speedboat racing?” The answer, naturally, was nukes. The segment ended with a zoo accidentally advertising a Child Predator Tour, proving that the robots may be our only hope for copy editing.
Derek Carr Talks Quarterbacks
Derek Carr joined from his extremely enviable retirement life, where he is advising UCLA, making a show with his brother, and still receiving the occasional call to see whether his shoulder has anything left. He also confirmed that quarterback rumors reached him last season, but he was mostly sitting on his couch and enjoying himself like a man who had finally escaped the NFL.
Carr's biggest football point was about quarterbacks returning to the center. The modern shotgun-heavy college game can leave young passers unprepared for the speed and disorientation of turning their backs to an NFL defense. Carr's prescription is not complicated, but it is demanding:
Derek CarrQuarterbacks need to master under-center football
We have to be able to be balanced on offense. The biggest adjustment is going to be turning your back to the defense. There is a learning curve. You need a thousand reps of that before it ever becomes natural.
That naturally led to a broader argument for college programs teaching quarterbacks to operate under center and run actual pro-style concepts, not just throw bubbles to elite athletes who are already open by the time the ball leaves the quarterback's hand.
Derek CarrCollege quarterbacks should learn pro-style concepts
For me, yes, we'd have to be under center. It's not just about winning and the program, you want to do that, but it's also about the development of the young kid. The best way to do that at the quarterback position is being able to do both.
Carr also named Brock Purdy as an early MVP candidate after watching him distribute the ball all over the field, praised the 49ers, and compared Kansas City's rushing attack to the Jamaal Charles era. The Chiefs' offensive transformation got an endorsement from someone who has spent years trying to survive the AFC West.
Derek CarrBrock Purdy has an MVP shot
Really impressed with the 49ers. The most impressive part was Purdy just distributing the football. He was like MVP. I sent a group text: Here's our MVP. He genuinely has that kind of shot this year playing like that.
The interview's most revealing moment came when Carr explained why Bo Nix's situation worries him: having Sean Payton in the room while someone else calls the plays is a little like having John Gruden standing next to you and politely asking him not to touch the headset.
Eric Morris and the Oklahoma State Reset
Eric Morris arrived with a big win, a dead armadillo, and the kind of Mike Leach story that makes every other coaching origin story feel underwritten. After Oklahoma State's ugly Week 1 loss to Tulsa, Morris scrapped the complicated grading system and challenged players to answer one question on every snap: did they play fast or not?
The result was a physical upset of Oregon, followed by an explanation of why Morris believes spread offenses still need to run the football. His formula is roughly 150 to 170 rushing yards, tight ends, and enough toughness that the defense gets better just by practicing against the offense.
Morris also told the story of Mike Leach giving him a green uniform, green tights, and taped-on elf ears because he was small and had apparently done something magical on a route. “The Magical Elf” is an all-time Leach nickname, and wearing the costume was apparently non-negotiable if Morris wanted to play.
The episode closed with listener takes, questions about anonymous robot referees, the theory that the real NFL season does not begin until Week 3 or 4, and one final reminder that the Chargers have a must-win game every week now. Football is back, but Big Cat may need a new nervous system first.
