Divisional Round Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes, Mahomes Is Inevitable And The Lions Are In The NFC Championship Game

David Tepper should sue the S2 cognition test people for ruining his operation

I think that David Tepper should sue the S2 people because I am studying for the bar exam and you have to prove that you have financial damages and liability. David Tepper could very easily be like, 'You fucked over my entire operation.'

The S2 cognition test people are trying to cover their asses regarding CJ Stroud

The S2 cognition test or whatever the fuck it's called... they're literally just trying to cover their ass. Like combine seasons coming up. Once CJ Stroud ended up being incredible and Rookie of the Year and all these things, they have to cover their ass some ways. So they're like, 'Haha, just a prank, it was an incorrect test score and it never should have been counted.'

Jim Harbaugh will be the head coach of the Chargers

I feel like this week we're gonna start getting some announcements. Bill Belichick for the Falcons, Harbaugh to the Chargers. Yep. That type of stuff.

Kyle Shanahan has 'shit for brains' when it comes to clock management

You basically make the perfect football coach in terms of demeanor, scheme, intellect... and then you say, 'but let's just tweak it a little bit to fuck with him.' Let's give him a quarterback he never fully trusts and also give him shit for brains when it comes to clock management. And that's Kyle Shanahan.

Chase Young's lack of production is glaringly obvious and disappointing

Chase Young stinks... he looks so intimidated. He looks like such a good football player that when he doesn't put up any stats, you're like, 'what's going on with this guy?' ... He leads the league in tackling non-ball carriers.

America will turn on the Lions in two years if they win a Super Bowl

I feel like if the Lions get to win a Super Bowl, they'll get probably like a two-year grace period before America starts to turn on them. We turn on people pretty quickly... it might happen right away.

Missing the field goal was slightly better for Bills fans than Patrick Mahomes throwing a dagger

Losing the game this way [the wide right] is a little bit better than if [Tyler Bass] makes that kick, you kick off to Patrick Mahomes, he's got a minute 40 seconds left and then he drives down the field and puts a dagger in your heart again... you can be like, 'fucking kickers.'

Patrick Mahomes is Inevitable and the new Tom Brady

Patrick Mahomes is the new Tom Brady. They are—they just will steal joy from every franchise in the AFC for the next 15 years. That's just a fact. Patrick Mahomes is Inevitable. That's what he is. He wins playoff games better than anyone else.

The Bills must fire Sean McDermott because he's absorbed too much sadness

They have to make a change at coach... there's just too much sadness that follows him. If you're a coach, you eat some—coaches eat those losses. Some coaches just like absorb them into their bodies and get sad and they carry that baggage with them forever. Sean McDermott has just—he's been around for too many bad moments.

The Patriots will make the Super Bowl in the next four years

I owe [PFT] $20,000 [if the Patriots don't make the Super Bowl in the next 5 years]. ... You're down one year already. You got four years left. ... New coach. Top three pick. ... Look how fast the Lions did it. ... There's a path.

Patrick Mahomes might be the best quarterback to ever play

He might be the best quarterback to ever play. He's on pace to be. Fact or fiction, Hank? ... He's on pace.

A 12-year-old kid right now will be Patrick Mahomes' main target in 2035

There's a kid right now, maybe a kid who's listening to this show who's 12 years old who's gonna be catching balls from Patrick Mahomes in an AFC Championship game in year 2035. Like, think about that. Mahomes is going to win his last Super Bowl on the way out of town in 2035.

Caitlin Clark's court storming collision was an 'all-time flop'

It was a flop. I saw the alternate angle. Caitlin Clark... she leaned into the contact. The girl was just running, minding her own business, and Caitlin Clark shoved her and then just did a pirouette and fell. It's crazy. This is insane. Justice for the other girl.