PMT DB
PMT DB
Jerry O’Connell’s Fantasy Preview, NFL New Rules, and Pizza Mount Rushmore
Football is officially back, and while Spectrum and ESPN were busy committing cable terrorism by cutting off the Florida-Utah game at kickoff, Big Cat and PFT were locked in on the beautiful, chaotic nature of the sport. College football has returned to provide us with the heights of entertainment and the depths of Nebraska football, which is exactly where PFT thinks the Huskers should want their opponents to be.
PFT CommenterNebraska shouldn't try to compete with Ohio State; they should drag teams to the depths and wait for them to drown
I think Nebraska's get it all figured out. They don't need to step it up to compete with the Ohio States of the world. They just need to drag everybody down to their level and then beat you with experience. Drag 'em to the depths and wait for them to drown.
Before getting into the meat of the episode, Jake Marsh and Memes collaborated on a three-part presentation to get everyone ready for the NFL season. We got a refresher on the rule changes, including the "Brock Purdy Rule" for third quarterbacks and a very suspicious new helmet penalty. PFT is already smelling a conspiracy from the league office.
PFT CommenterThe NFL's new helmet rule is designed to allow referees to rig games
Pretty much what they did was they gave the NFL refs the opportunity to throw a flag on any play that they want to throw a flag on. Right. For the helmet thing... Just heads up that's, that's major NFL rigged vibes right there.
Big Cat is already looking at the bottom of the standings for the upcoming season. Between Cooper Kupp's lingering hamstring issues and a roster that looks like a shell of its Super Bowl self, he’s ready to crown a loser in the NFC West.
Big CatThe Rams are going to be the worst team in the league
And Cooper Kupp got hurt again. The Rams are going to be the worst team in the league.
Not to be outdone in the division-hating department, PFT has identified his favorite target to fade this year. After seeing Jonathan Gannon’s cringeworthy attempts at motivational speeches, the decision was easy.
PFT CommenterMy proprietary betting strategy for 2023 is to fade the Cardinals
I have a new proprietary betting strategy for this year. It's hot. Just fade The Cardinals. I don't believe their head coach. I don't believe... he did like the fire up speech for the guys... his speech was just like looking around the room being like, who here took the bus to get here? Well, you better light a fire... and I was like, fuck this guy. Yeah, I'm out.
Jerry O’Connell’s 2023 Fantasy Preview
Our good friend Jerry O'Connell continues to be the most dedicated guest in show history, flying from LA to Chicago for ten hours just to do this preview in person. Despite the current studio being a temporary "shithole" located directly next to a very active plumbing pipe, Jerry delivered his annual division-by-division breakdown. As a Jets fan, he’s trying to keep his expectations grounded despite the Aaron Rogers hype.
Jerry O'ConnellThe Jets will only win eight games in 2023
I still think they're [the Jets] only gonna win 8 games. Sorry folks. I'm a Jets fan. I've seen this.
Jerry’s overall philosophy for the year is that the AFC is going to be a track meet. He believes the presence of a certain quarterback in Kansas City has forced every other front office in the conference to load up on firepower.
Jerry O'ConnellThe AFC will be an offensive juggernaut because everyone is chasing Patrick Mahomes
I think that the AFC is going to be an offensive juggernaut. And I think that really comes from Patrick Mahomes and everyone chasing him.
When it came to building the PMT league roster, Jerry was standing on the table for one man: Justin Fields. He’s convinced the Bears' QB1 is ready for a massive leap, and he’s willing to reach to make sure he's on the team.
Jerry O'ConnellJustin Fields will be the Jalen Hurts of the 2023 season
We're then gonna reach for in round three... for Justin Fields. I have a feeling he's gonna be the Jalen Hurts of this season. We have to ensure that we get him.
Jerry also had some strong "stay away" advice, specifically regarding the messy situation in Indianapolis. He doesn't see a world where Jonathan Taylor takes the field, though he’s still high on another Colts playmaker.
Jerry O'ConnellJonathan Taylor will not play at all this season
I would not [draft Jonathan Taylor]. I don't think he's gonna play this season at all. I don't think he's gonna play.
Jerry O'ConnellMichael Pittman is an under-the-radar wide receiver one
Michael Pittman. We think he's gonna have a good season. He's a, he's under the radar wide receiver one. And I think Anthony Richardson's a good quarterback.
As the guys moved through the league, Big Cat made sure to highlight his optimism for the Ravens' new look under Todd Monkin, while Jerry identified Tony Pollard as a true Tier 1 running back and Darren Waller as the only pass-catcher worth a damn on the Giants.
Jerry O'ConnellTony Pollard will have an incredible year and is worth a second-round pick
Tony Pollard is gonna have an incredible year. He, he might be round two for us if he's up there... I will take Tony Pollard over Joe Mixon.
Jerry O'ConnellDarren Waller will be right up there with Travis Kelce for tight end production
We are going to take Darren Waller. We're reaching in the fourth round. We're taking him... I think he's gonna be right up there with Kelce.
Mount Rushmore of Pizza Toppings
To wrap up Mount Rushmore season, the guys decided to do a "real" Pizza Toppings draft after the disaster of the previous episode. Hank, who is already destined for the 24-hour punishment box alongside Max, took the "sour puss" route and started drafting things like spinach and toenails just to spite the process. It was a fittingly chaotic end to the summer series that leaves Hank and Max facing a very long day in a small room.
If Sam Howell is as average as PFT hopes he is, at least Commanders fans will have something to celebrate while Hank is staring at a wall for 24 hours.
PFT CommenterSam Howell will have the most average quarterback season of all time
I want the haters to know Sam Howell is gonna have like, the most average season of all time. Perfectly average. And that means that we're gonna make the playoffs.
