I officially have zero ill-will toward Aaron Rodgers and think he's a great teammate now that he took a pay cut

Aaron Rodgers. What a guy. Probably the greatest guy ever. I'm so happy that I've never said anything bad about Aaron Rodgers. He took a $35 million pay cut for the Jets, basically a big fuck you to the Packers. I think I officially have like no ill will towards Aaron Rodgers anymore. This one cemented it for me.

Sean Payton is officially back to his old tricks of using bizarre motivational videos

Sean Payton is officially a hundred percent back. All the headlines are gonna be about how he said that [Nathaniel] Hackett did the worst job of coaching in the history of the NFL... To me, that was not the best part of the story. He is up to his old tricks. Sean Payton basically is a film director. He has his assistant Paul Kelly queue up a nature documentary that showed baby iguanas under attack from running snakes immediately after they hatched... he wanted to hammer home a point to his players of you have to hit the ground running.

The Pac-12 is officially dead after Colorado's departure

Colorado's gonna be a Big 12 team. So Big 12 is basically torn apart. The Pac-12 rated it for all its parts. And I think this is like the Pac-12's done. They're done. I don't know who else is gonna go to the Big 12. Pac-12's done.

Within the next 10 years there will be one massive college conference for top teams

What basically we're heading for right now is there's going to be one big conference at some point. And so we're readjusting the deck chairs on the Titanic... the reality is, within the next 10 years, I bet there's gonna be one conference that has the top teams in it.

I am officially a Northwestern fan solely to spite Darren Rovell

I think I'm officially gonna be a Northwestern fan. That's gonna be my Big 10 school. But I just wanna be a Northwestern fan to be, to annoy Darren Rovell... I wanna be more of a Northwestern fan than Darren Rovell is. I'll support you. I will, I will a hundred percent root for you. I'll bet on you. I'll watch all your games. But just know that I'm also trying to piss off Darren Rovell as much as I can.

Saquon Barkley and Josh Jacobs should have made their contract situations uncomfortable for the teams much earlier

Only thing I told [Josh Jacobs] was, I guess the issue I had was that they should have made a bigger chaos about it... you need to go, listen, ain't no friends, we ain't, there ain't no homies, the owner, you not my friend right now. I need to get my money. And it just started soon as season was over he should have made a big deal about it. Either I wanna be here, I wanna let the fans know I wanna be here, but they're not paying me no money and if they can't trade me, I wanna be traded. You gotta make it uncomfortable for these people.

Bill Belichick's greatness is bull crap without Tom Brady

LeSean McCoy calls the idea of Bill Belichick's greatness bull crap. [Wait, that was the headline Big Cat read]... I'll tell you that story because [Andy Reid] is adapting to the new culture. This is why Belichick—well, other than Tom Brady being gone—but he can't understand people. He can't understand the players.

Tom Brady is physically taller than Josh Allen

Tom [Brady], he's the tallest... [Number 2] is Josh [Allen], he's second tallest.

Jason Peters is the best player I ever played with

This dude named Jason Peters. He's an offensive lineman. Beast. Absolute monster... DeMarcus Ware would yell at me if I would go chip block for him. Shady, get your little west away from here. He would block one-on-one. So he's probably my best player I ever played with. I think the second I had to give it to either DeSean Jackson or Travis Kelce.

Dak Prescott is playing like ass

And Dak [Prescott], the Dak one was more, he's playing like he's playing ass... I can't be making this up. Every time I see a Cowboy fan, I can be anywhere in the world. They be like, stop talking to my Cowboys. And the next question I'll say, what's the reason why y'all can't win a Championship? Do you know the first player they say? Dak Prescott. Ass.

Tim Tebow was a bad pro quarterback

Tebow's bad, bad man. Like you gotta be a desperate team to get him. You really believe because Skip [Bayless] is... if you take Tebow, it's like you just a great guy or you just love Jesus Christ because other playing ain't the issue. He just, I don't know. He's not the good, he's not the best. I'm trying to be nice.

Julian Edelman is not a Hall of Famer

I don't think he's a Hall of Famer. I think he's a hell of a player though... Hall of Fame is like, you know, it's like the best of the best.

I am a Hall of Famer

I got 15,000 [all purpose] yards. I'm an all-decade running back. I got some Pro Bowls, got some All-Pros. You look at my work collectively... I got a rushing title to go along with that. I mean, I think, yeah, I think I'm a Hall of Fame guy. If I were to compare myself to them [already in], it's like, why not?

Showering in the morning is mandatory to feel accomplished

I don't understand for the life of me, anyone who doesn't shower in the morning. You gotta shower in the morning right before you go to work 'cause it makes you feel accomplished... I would feel like just dooo going to work without showering first.

Unsubscribing from spam emails is an S-tier easy task

Unsubscribing to spam emails. One of my favorite easy tasks. That just makes you feel awesome when you like have your entire email box... You feel like you conquered the world. Subset of this is when you find the email where they make the unsubscribe hidden and then when you find it, you're like, yes, got it! You fuckers tried to get me.