LeSean McCoy, Mt Rushmore Of Easy Tasks That Make You Feel Accomplished, Football Is Back + Aaron Rodgers Is The Best Teammate

Aaron Rodgers is officially an all-time Jet and I have zero ill will toward him

Aaron Rodgers. What a guy. Probably the greatest guy ever. I'm so happy that I've never said anything bad about Aaron Rodgers. He took a $35 million pay cut for the Jets, basically a big fuck you to the Packers. I think I officially have no ill will towards Aaron Rodgers anymore. This one cemented it for me. When he goes to Canton, he might go in as a Jet.

Within the next 10 years there will be one massive college conference for top teams

What basically we're heading for right now is there's going to be one big conference at some point. And so we're readjusting the deck chairs on the Titanic... the reality is, within the next 10 years, I bet there's gonna be one conference that has the top teams in it.

I am officially a Northwestern fan solely to spite Darren Rovell

I think I'm officially gonna be a Northwestern fan. That's gonna be my Big 10 school. But I just wanna be a Northwestern fan to be, to annoy Darren Rovell... I wanna be more of a Northwestern fan than Darren Rovell is. I'll support you. I will, I will a hundred percent root for you. I'll bet on you. I'll watch all your games. But just know that I'm also trying to piss off Darren Rovell as much as I can.

Shohei Ohtani took the coward's way out by staying with the Angels

After the pressure of the trade deadline gets lifted, he decided to stay with the Angels. A team that has no expectations on it. That's interesting. He took the coward's way out. Is he afraid of the bright lights? If I was Shohei Ohtani, I would be demanding a trade to the New York Yankees or the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Saquon Barkley and Josh Jacobs should have made their contract situations uncomfortable for the teams much earlier

Only thing I told [Josh Jacobs] was, I guess the issue I had was that they should have made a bigger chaos about it... you need to go, listen, ain't no friends, we ain't, there ain't no homies, the owner, you not my friend right now. I need to get my money. And it just started soon as season was over he should have made a big deal about it. Either I wanna be here, I wanna let the fans know I wanna be here, but they're not paying me no money and if they can't trade me, I wanna be traded. You gotta make it uncomfortable for these people.

Tom Brady is physically taller than Josh Allen

Tom [Brady], he's the tallest... [Number 2] is Josh [Allen], he's second tallest.

Bill Belichick's greatness is bull crap without Tom Brady

LeSean McCoy calls the idea of Bill Belichick's greatness bull crap. It's what I had to say.

Dak Prescott is playing like ass

And Dak [Prescott], the Dak one was more, he's playing like he's playing ass... I can't be making this up. Every time I see a Cowboy fan, I can be anywhere in the world. They be like, stop talking to my Cowboys. And the next question I'll say, what's the reason why y'all can't win a Championship? Do you know the first player they say? Dak Prescott. Ass.

Julian Edelman is not a Hall of Famer

I don't think he's a Hall of Famer. I think he's a hell of a player though... Hall of Fame is like, you know, it's like the best of the best.

I am a Hall of Famer

I got 15,000 [all purpose] yards. I'm an all-decade running back. I got some Pro Bowls, got some All-Pros. You look at my work collectively... I got a rushing title to go along with that. I mean, I think, yeah, I think I'm a Hall of Fame guy. If I were to compare myself to them [already in], it's like, why not?

Jason Peters is the best player I ever played with

This dude named Jason Peters. He's an offensive lineman. Beast. Absolute monster... DeMarcus Ware would yell at me if I would go chip block for him. Shady, get your little west away from here. He would block one-on-one. So he's probably my best player I ever played with. I think the second I had to give it to either DeSean Jackson or Travis Kelce.

Showering in the morning is mandatory to feel accomplished

I don't understand for the life of me, anyone who doesn't shower in the morning. You gotta shower in the morning right before you go to work 'cause it makes you feel accomplished... I would feel like just dooo going to work without showering first.

Unsubscribing from spam emails is an S-tier easy task

Unsubscribing to spam emails. One of my favorite easy tasks. That just makes you feel awesome when you like have your entire email box... You feel like you conquered the world. Subset of this is when you find the email where they make the unsubscribe hidden and then when you find it, you're like, yes, got it! You fuckers tried to get me.

Everyone gaslights me into thinking I play golf all the time

You gaslight people into thinking I play all the time. [Big Cat asks: how many times this week?]. Two... I just picked up a little hobby, something to do on the side. Everyone in all these comments are like, oh someone that plays golf so much, you suck, you suck. You assholes have somehow got it in a world where I don't even want to play golf because I just know people are gonna be mean to me.