NFL Week 5, Fastest 2 Minutes, The Cowboys Got Whomped, Lions Are For Real And Tons More

The 49ers would win the Super Bowl if it were played today

The 49ers. Congratulations. The 49ers. They won the Week five Super Bowl. If the Super Bowl were played today, I say that the 49ers would win easily.

Brock Purdy is 100% a top 10 quarterback

Brock Purdy is 100% a top 10 quarterback. If you disagree, you aren't watching the games. Brock Purdy is just good. He's just very good.

The Eagles, 49ers, and Lions are the only three really good teams in the NFC

I feel like today was a day that we found out there are three really, really good teams in the NFC and then there's everyone else. I'm referring to the Philadelphia Eagles, the San Francisco 49ers and the Detroit Lions.

The Cowboys will get smoked if they make it past the divisional round of the playoffs

This team [Cowboys] might make it to the divisional round of the playoffs. They're gonna get smoked if they make it any, anywhere past that. And you can't feel any differently.

NFL teams should fly to London earlier and use medically induced comas to acclimate

What should happen is the moment you get a chance, like maybe that Monday... you put your guys in medically induced coma, knocked them out, put them onto London time, get their body naturally acclimated, fly them over while they're all knocked out. And then you get there, you practice through the week. You use a copious amount of drugs to put them asleep at night and wake them up in the morning.

Jalen Warren should be getting Najee Harris's touches for the Steelers

Jalen Warren should get Najee Harris' touches. He's so good. So much better than Najee Harris. Anybody with eyes can see Jalen Warren carry the ball and be like, this guy has 10 times the burst Najee has.

The Panthers will get their first win of the season at home against the Falcons

I'm gonna say tie [against the Colts]... They finish off at home against the Packers at the Jaguars at home against the Bucs... There's gonna be, they're gonna beat the Falcons at home.

The Patriots should rebuild around the lighthouse and fire Bill Belichick and Mac Jones

The lighthouse is all we got. That's really the only, like, I think you rebuild around the lighthouse. Get rid of Belichick, get rid of Mac Jones and just build around the lighthouse. Build an entire team around the lighthouse.

Bill Belichick is ruining the Patriots on purpose to make them easier to beat when he joins a new team

I think he's ruining the Patriots because he's gonna go somewhere else and then he'll make the Patriots easier to beat when he's at the next location. Vrabel to the Patriots Belichick to the Titans... Vanderbilt is where my dad coached Nashville is where I was born... It's coming home.

CJ Stroud needs to throw a reckless triple-coverage interception to be a true gunslinger

I'd like him to just throw a ball that, you know, there's no chance it's gonna be completed... he needs to throw a reckless interception. Like triple coverage. Just trying to do it all in arm strength.

It is 'loser shit' to ban the Brotherly Shove just because defenses can't stop it

The NFL actually might stop it... which is it's, that's loser shit right there. Listen, I'm saying this as a Commanders fan, as a division rival, it's loser shit to ban the brotherly shove because just 'cause you can't stop it doesn't mean that they shouldn't be able to do it.

Zach Wilson is the third-best quarterback in the AFC East

I think objectively speaking, you can say that Zach Wilson is the third best quarterback in the AFC East. Big difference. Russell Wilson stinks and what we said, he looked okay the first four games, but he had to play a real defense for once.

Justin Ross could be the next breakout star for the Chiefs' wide receiver corps

Justin Ross had a great catch today. Incredible catch. He is. They're gonna unlock him at some point this year. You saw one great catch from him. He's a massive target... Justin Ross could be the next guy up for the Chiefs wide receiver corps.

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are going to break up soon

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift... we're gonna break up. Allegedly. She's gotta go back out on tour. Travis has got some rehabbing to do with the injury. Not gonna have as much time. I think, you know, this is kind of the three week honeymoon phase is over.

Brock Purdy is a top five quarterback in the NFL

My overly direct take... Brock Purdy this year is a top five quarterback in the NFL. I like it. Top five. I think he's number five in the NFL right now... If he gets to a Super Bowl, I'm gonna say it. Brock Purdy might be elite.

The Packers are going to kick the shit out of the Raiders on Monday night

My overly direct take is Monday Night Football. I hate betting on this team, but I think the Packers are gonna kick the shit outta the Raiders.

Mac Jones will be benched by Halloween

My overly direct take... is that Mac Jones will be benched before Halloween. Just benched. For Bailey Zappy maybe.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

I've got the B's avalanche. I'll go with you on the Avalanche Hank. I've got back to back. [Vegas] I've got the avalanche.