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NFL Week 8, Fastest 2 Minutes, And The Nats Are Cursed

Monday, October 28, 201919 takes

Fastest 2 Minutes for NFL Week 8. We recap every single game on Sunday. Pete Carroll mercy kills Dan Quinn, Matt Nagy is a buffoon, Matt Stafford is on the MVP list, Drew Brees is back, Andy Reid vs clock management, the Patriots D is incredible, the Niners are a wagon, Jon Gruden is negging Derek Carr, and Gregg Williams is  the most relatable idiot in the world. Who's back of the week including Halloween and Tiger. Football guy of the week. PFT cursed the Nats and we got to see Tits on the screen in the World Series plus a special Monday Reading of the PMT group text and the case of the drunk tweet.

NFL Week 8 Recap: Matt Nagy's Meltdown and the Nats' World Series Curse

Week 8 in the NFL gave us everything from elite defensive performances to coaching decisions that make you wonder if some of these guys even like winning. Big Cat is officially entering the 'sad' phase of Bears fandom, PFT is grappling with the potential of a self-inflicted World Series jinx, and the Patriots continue to treat professional offenses like a JV scout team.

The Andy Reid Experience and Aaron Rodgers' Revenge

Sunday Night Football was a classic reminder that while Andy Reid is a schematic wizard, he and the game clock have a relationship status that can only be described as "it's complicated." Big Cat was baffled by Reid’s late-game management, specifically a timeout that essentially gave the Packers a free play before the two-minute warning.

Void
Oct 28, 2019
#4372
Big CatBig Cat

Andy Reid doesn't understand how time works

[Andy Reid] has been one of the best coaches of all time. It's remarkable and his coaching tree all that. He does not know how time works. He doesn't know what a clock is. Like we said, he measures time in units of meat.

While a joke, Reid's clock management was famously poor for years until his later tenure with the Chiefs.

On the other side of the ball, Aaron Rodgers looks like a man who has decided to stop playing nice. He was making impossible throws and, more importantly, using his legs to pick up first downs, which is usually the universal signal that he's feeling himself. Big Cat thinks the rest of the league should be on high alert.

Win
Oct 28, 2019
#25835
Big CatBig Cat

Aaron Rodgers is going on a 'fuck you tour' for the rest of the season.

Aaron Rodgers, like we said on Friday, I think is getting to that point where he's going to go on a little bit of a fuck you tour because he was making throws and also running. That's how you know when Aaron Rodgers is feeling good... and it's really hard to stop.

The Packers finished the 2019 season 13-3 and Rodgers led them to the NFC Championship game.

The Matt Nagy Horror Show

There is no way to sugarcoat what happened in Chicago. The Bears lost to the Chargers in a game they had no business losing, capped off by Matt Nagy choosing to take a knee to set up a field goal instead of trying to get closer for a kicker who had already missed earlier in the day. Big Cat didn't hold back, comparing Nagy to one of the darkest eras in Bears history.

Void
Oct 28, 2019
#4376
Big CatBig Cat

Matt Nagy is just an arrogant, cocky version of Marc Trestman

Matt Nagy is just an arrogant cocky Marc Trestman. That's what he is. He's a guy who thinks that he's smarter than he is and has over thought pretty much every big situation... the guy this year, he stinks.

While subjective, the consensus among Bears fans eventually mirrored this as Nagy was fired in 2021 after failing to evolve the offense.

PFT has a theory that this isn't just bad coaching—it's a deep-seated psychological trauma stemming from last year's playoff exit. He posits that Nagy has become so paralyzed by the fear of a mistake that he’s forgotten how to actually call an offense.

Void
Oct 28, 2019
#25838
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The double doink drove Matt Nagy insane and made him afraid of playing offense.

I actually think that Matt Nagy has gone insane. I think the double doink actually drove him insane last year... He's so terrified of anything ever bad happening in his entire life. He's agoraphobic... he's afraid to leave his house because of all the bad shit that might happen.

This is a subjective psychological assessment of a coach's mindset.

The AFC Power Struggle and "Turnover Luck"

The Patriots defense is putting up numbers that feel like a glitch in the Matrix. They forced three turnovers on three consecutive snaps against the Browns, further cementing their status as a historically dominant unit. Hank is already ready to crown them the greatest of all time, though Big Cat tried to provide a little perspective on how sustainable this pace is.

Loss
Oct 28, 2019
#4379
HankHank

The 2019 Patriots defense is the best of all time

The Patriots defense is going to be regarded as the best defense of all time. Not even '85 Bears defense... They're already forgotten about.

The 2019 Patriots lost in the Wild Card round to the Titans and allowed 20 points in that game; they are not considered superior to the '85 Bears or 2000 Ravens.

While the Patriots look invincible, PFT pointed out a strange trend across the league: the extinction of the 'Matt' quarterback. We’re seeing a shift in the NFL's naming conventions, and the era of Ryan, Stafford, and Schaub might be reaching its twilight.

Loss
Oct 28, 2019
#25836
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The era of the 'Matt' starting quarterback in the NFL is coming to an end.

This year feels like the last hurrah for Matts as starting quarterbacks in the NFL, like they're starting to fade away pretty quickly. We're getting a big come up for Josh's. A lot of Josh's coming through the ranks, but this is like the Last Stand for Matts.

Matt Ryan and Matthew Stafford remained high-level starters for several more years, with Stafford winning a Super Bowl in 2021.

Speaking of Matts, Matt Stafford is quietly putting up an elite season in Detroit. Despite the Lions' middling record, Big Cat thinks it's time we start giving the man his flowers for the numbers he's racking up without the usual mistakes.

Loss
Oct 28, 2019
#4374
Big CatBig Cat

Matt Stafford deserves to be on the MVP shortlist

Matt Stafford is going to start getting some MVP buzz. Have you looked at Matt Stafford's year? He has been phenomenal. 16 touchdowns for interceptions. He is passing the ball deep and not making like the classic Matt Stafford mistakes... He should be on the 5 [finalists].

Lamar Jackson won the MVP unanimously in 2019. Stafford was playing great, but a back injury ended his season after 8 games, effectively ending any MVP campaign.

World Series Chaos and the Nats' Curse

In the world of baseball, the Washington Nationals are heading back to Houston after dropping three straight at home. PFT is facing accusations that his premature celebrations and 'official' beer popping in the clubhouse have cursed the team. He remains defiant, claiming he’s just doing his part to grow the game, and he’s calling for a massive performance from the Nats' ace to keep the season alive.

Win
Oct 28, 2019
#4380
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Nationals aren't cursed, I just helped grow the game by popping 'official World Series beer'

I did not curse anybody... I popped a year-old Series beer. It was champagne. And I was asked to by Major League Baseball and I want to help grow the game... I've had a full day where I felt like I won the World Series... what is this for the Washington Nationals 2019 World Series champions for a day.

OpinionBaseballMediumSarcastic
The Nationals actually went on to win the World Series in Game 7, so the 'curse' was broken.
Push
Oct 28, 2019
#25843
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Stephen Strasburg will have at least 15 strikeouts in Game 6 of the World Series.

Strasburg's gonna throw 15 strikeouts minimum. They're going to win Game 6... Justin Verlander is going to get embarrassed.

The Nationals won Game 6, but Strasburg had 7 strikeouts, not the 15 predicted.

Beyond the scores, the World Series also gave us the most viral moment of the weekend involving some unexpected exposure behind home plate. The guys weighed in on the subsequent MLB ban, noting that while the business promotion was the issue, the 'comeback' of certain aesthetics was the real story of Game 5.

If the Nats lose on Tuesday, PFT might have to go into witness protection to avoid the wrath of D.C. sports fans.

nflchicago-bearsnew-england-patriotsworld-serieswashington-nationalsfastest-2-minutes

More Takes

Void
Oct 28, 2019
#4381
Big CatBig Cat

I would take over and coach US Soccer

I will take over US Soccer. I would be the coach of US Soccer... You automatically get to drive an Audi. That's part of the deal... I would like that.

This is a comedic hypothetical.
Loss
Oct 28, 2019
#4373
Big CatBig Cat

Dan Quinn will be fired by Monday morning

Dan Quinn... He'll be fired. If he's not fired tomorrow morning, then it's just stupid and they're going to wait till what, the second part of the bye?

Dan Quinn was not fired in 2019; he coached the rest of that season and was eventually fired on October 11, 2020.
Win
Oct 28, 2019
#4377
Big CatBig Cat

The 49ers are very much for real

The 49ers are very much for real and we can segue this with we were talking about it. There are two undefeated teams left the forerunners of the Patriots. Could you imagine the story lines if that were Super Bowl?

The 49ers went 13-3 and made the Super Bowl, proving they were indeed 'for real'.
Win
Oct 28, 2019
#4378
Big CatBig Cat

The Patriots defense will regress because of turnover luck

I mentioned that turnover luck can play a part in Defenses being really good and sometimes will regress to the mean... I was just mentioning that if your game plan is to always have four turnovers at some point. That's not going to happen.

The Patriots defense was elite all year but couldn't force a single turnover in their playoff loss to the Titans, validating the idea that you can't rely on them every game.
Win
Oct 28, 2019
#25837
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The winner of the NFC East will probably finish with an 8-8 or 9-7 record.

I'm looking at the NFC East right now. I think the winner that division is probably like eight-eight or nine and seven.

The Eagles won the NFC East in 2019 with a 9-7 record.
Win
Oct 28, 2019
#4375
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Lions are a team you wouldn't want to play in the playoffs, but they won't make it

I think that they would be a team you wouldn't want to play in the playoffs but they won't make it. I think that they could beat a playoff team. Yeah. I don't think that they will [make it].

The Lions finished 3-12-1 and were nowhere near the playoffs.
Void
Oct 28, 2019
#25839
Big CatBig Cat

Saquon Barkley is the GOAT of 'awesome highlights for shitty teams.'

Saquon Barkley is going to go down in the Hall of Fame of awesome highlights for shitty teams. Which is very him, Barry Sanders. Like he had a highlight today where he just manned up a defender, and it was maybe an eight-yard run and then they probably didn't score.

Barkley's tenure with the Giants was characterized by elite individual flashes on mostly losing teams before he eventually left for Philadelphia in 2024.
Loss
Oct 28, 2019
#25840
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Larry Fitzgerald is eventually going to run for Senate in Arizona.

Larry Fitzgerald seems like he's okay with [being on a bad team] because I think he's going to run for Senate in Arizona. He's just squatting. I have a take on that—future politician Larry Fitzgerald.

Fitzgerald has yet to run for public office, though he remains a prominent figure in the Arizona community.
Loss
Oct 28, 2019
#25841
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Colts are going to make the playoffs.

I think the Colts are in the playoffs. No, I do too. But they've lost to the Chargers and the Raiders... I think at this point with the Colts, just take them against good teams. They're like a total 'we play to our competition' type of team.

The Colts finished the 2019 season 7-9 and missed the playoffs.
Void
Oct 28, 2019
#25842
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Christian Pulisic is the 'American Juan Soto' of soccer.

Pulisic is 19. Yeah, he is. He's America's Juan Soto of soccer. He's so good. We're going to win a shitload of World Cups with Pulisic.

This is a subjective comparison of two young stars.

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